tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52551291912857761382024-03-19T05:42:53.197+00:00Emily, Queen of the Park RangersFinalist: Best Female Football Blog 2014 (partnered with Huffington Post)Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-88191142513060334092017-02-25T02:57:00.001+00:002017-02-25T02:57:28.982+00:00Full Circle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'll start by saying I have mixed feelings about not writing this blog for some time. On the other hand, in the past year my life has changed beyond recognition, in a positive way. And so it is with a bitter sweet feeling that I write my final blog post in this chapter. I've learned never to say never, so I may be back for QPR in some shape or form but it feels unfair to you, my readers, to promise the same sort of posts that have dominated my weekends and some week nights for the past five years.<br />
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I've supported QPR since 1990, but it really became one of the most important things in my life since I started writing this blog. It has been a joy to write it and to see that people were interested to read what I had to say. It also provided me with some sort of protection for my life in London, when I lived a stressful work existence. It was my boyfriend when I lived a single life as a person who never developed a meaningful relationship with anyone. QPR let me down a few times but overall I cannot thank the obsession enough for giving me the strength to build myself up after what was honestly a very traumatic time after the loss of my mother. I didn't know it then, but I sure as hell know it now.<br />
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I thought about the title for this post 'Full Circle' some time ago when Ian Holloway came back to manage the team. At that point, I had already decided to stay in Asia and move to Hong Kong for a new job. I had found a wonderful boyfriend in the Philippines, someone I could imagine growing old with and someone who I knew in my heart of hearts was a kind and giving person. A good 'egg'.<br />
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For those who have read my blog in the past you will know that going to the Philippines was a decision I made to give myself time and space to breathe and to try some things I had always promised myself: to help some NGOs and to travel the country a little. I did do some of that, and learned what was most useful was helping people help themselves. I learned that the skill I've honed in the corporate world was worth something and used that to help those less fortunate. I also spent time in places my mother loved, fixing a house she had helped to design thereby preserving her memory and visiting our old home a few times which is now a beer bar. I also struggled to keep up with friendships I felt had existed for me before and was disappointed at times. And I watched as the country voted itself in to the hands of another psychotic dictator with a great sense of unease and fear for mine and my friends' safety. And one evening just before my 39th birthday last June I saw a guy at a bar drinking a beer; watching a movie on his own and decided it might be worth asking him if he wanted another drink on me...we had a date the following week and the rest, as they say, is history.<br />
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The truth is that going back to the Philippines this time around was a chance to make new, positive memories. And despite such a frightening political backdrop I changed my life for the better and gave myself the chance to open a box of emotions I had not done for over twenty years. I had, in effect, come full circle.<br />
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My Hong Kong childhood is peppered with a mixture of unique social experiences and very sad family problems. So when the chance to move here with my partner arrived, my gut reaction was 'No, take me back to London!'. But I forced myself to reconsider...In the end I thought, 'I've come this far already, maybe it is time to put those Hong Kong ghosts to bed'. Now that I am here, I've done a few things differently: chosen a funky pad in a very central area that I would never live in back in London (far from where I grew up as a child), I am planning to take up Cantonese, I am looking up what concerts, cultural events and museums there are...I am living my life differently. Obviously...I am adult now and that makes much of the difference. As I turn forty this year it is probably about time that I lived my life for me instead of following a path that I think will make others happy. I always used to watch others make these big decisions in their lives- like moving country, getting married, having children etc. People who moved on. I used to think these were things that happened to other people and not to me.<br />
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Perhaps that is the challenge that QPR as a club has in the coming years. It is such a wonderful club due to its small size and its incredibly loyal fans. It has always had the capability to do better than it has because of its long and colourful history, its location, the loyal fans and some of its greatest players. Its about time that the club dug a little deeper and found its real identity instead of reaching for something unattainably out of character. With the pressures of the football world: its politics and the money swirling around I realise that is hard ask. And while recent results are not consistent under Holloway I do feel we have a manager that represents us going back to our roots somewhat. Perhaps it isn't such a bad thing.<br />
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So on this cold Saturday morning in Hong Kong, I write this final post looking forward to listening to tonight's match against Preston. I bid you farewell for now and send to you so much gratitude for bringing me so much joy, some incredible memories and the most beautiful friendships. I am forever indebted always will be a lover of QPR.<br />
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Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-40112167574981879562016-09-29T08:44:00.001+01:002016-09-29T12:51:42.748+01:00Heavy heart<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Queens Park Rangers 1 Blackburn Rovers 1<br>
Queens Park Rangers 0 Newcastle Utd 6<br>
Huddersfield Town 2 Queens Park Rangers 1<br>
Queens Park Rangers 1 Sunderland 2 (EFL Cup)<br>
Queens Park Rangers 1 Birmingham City 1<br>
Burton Albion 1 Queens Park Rangers 1<br>
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Just looking at the list of match results over the past month makes me feel extremely low, never mind the fact that I haven't been there and witnessed, as have many of my good friends back in the UK, what appears to be an unambitious team spirit.<br>
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And, over the past few days, I am reading from afar, about the latest football controversy which may well involve at least two QPR managers. In my QPR whatsapp discussion group no one is shocked or surprised, but rather, frustrated with a system that has been so obviously filled with corruption at the expense of the fans who spend their hard earned money supporting their clubs in numerous ways. One is easily left to conclude that greed, foreign investment and the globalisation of football has led to where we are now. This makes me sad from a deeply personal perspective, and the experience that I am currently going through has made this all very relevant.<br>
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There is no doubt that the world is going through what appears to me to be a very negative 'isolationist' phase. I look at what happened in the UK with Brexit just after I left, I look at the Philippines and the attempts of the new President to isolate himself from its key allies (such as the US and the whole of the EU - ref: 'fuck you' statement), in the name of 'nation building', and this close battle in the US between Clinton and Trump - with Trump's increasingly xenophobic rhetoric. It feels like the world has gone completely gaga.<br>
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I am living proof that it is possible to be 'global' in the way that one exists. I am half British and half Filipina. I have lived in both countries and can speak both languages. I feel at home with both cultures and understand what it is to be open minded, and accepting of other people despite differences and to even celebrate those differences. It wasn't until I was about 13 that I understood what the word racist even meant - perhaps that was due to being brought up in HK which at that time sat in a very anomalous place as a colony full of people who were, biologically and culturally like me. And so I find it extremely hard to take when I see countries turning more inward. It's so far from the way many people were talking about globalisation and multiculturalism no less than ten or fifteen years ago. And it breaks my heart because I can understand why people feel that way and why it has happened. Because those in charge have failed to win the hearts and minds of people round to wanting a liberal democracy and what it has to offer. Yes, from the UK all the way to the Philippines - people want something else and feel that current or past governments have failed to provide real assurances (be it finance or security related) for the hard working masses. What's dangerous is that such feelings can easily turn in to hatred or retribution.<br>
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What the hell has this got to do with football, and with QPR? Football's globalised nature, and the fact it is so well loved by many people around the world leaves it open to the same problems that we see in politics, including the propensity for corruption. QPR is no exception. Personally I have always loved the connection we now have with Asia through our Malaysian ownership - but of course I will sit and listen to arguments where friends are very clearly unhappy with what they see as 'foreign' intrusion in to the sport and in to their club. And what they see as very reason matches are being moved around to weird days and times, that changes in logos and team colours are being made, that greedy agents are forcing managers and clubs to spend big on 'past it' Champions League players. It's a very tough argument for me to win on the day, especially after a heavy QPR defeat or a series of poor results.<br>
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I have no idea what the answer is to all of this. My heart tells me that one has to believe that human decency will win out in the end. But when I look at football and its corruption issues, and I look at the wider world that we live in where issues around security, poverty and immigration dominate the headlines I realise that people are being made to believe that we are living in fear. And because of that we're all starting to feel so depressed, whether we are buying in to that fear or whether are witnessing it happening, both in football and in politics.<br>
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Right now the world feels like a really dark place. And whist I write this with what is, an extremely heavy heart, for the UK, for the Philippines and for my club which is (judging from recent news on Hasselbaink now being caught up in the Telegraph sting) likely to go through even more turmoil, I do have to have some faith. One thing I do realise is that whilst corruption does exist, and while there are despotically-disposed leaders everywhere, some places are more corrupt than others. And some places see more equality and justice than others. I am currently living in a place where there is a very loose definition of justice. Not only that, but even the very definition of human rights is being questioned by people. I have to believe that at least in the UK there is a little more of an even keel and understanding of right and wrong, as well as a respect for due process. And that, in general, people there believe in equality and a general sense of fairness. Perhaps this is the shake up that football needs, but I truly hope the trees being shaken around the world right now will yield more positive seeds than I can currently see for the future. </div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-87438649351061045892016-09-07T09:45:00.002+01:002016-09-07T09:47:22.952+01:00Another universe<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Queens Park Rangers 2 Swindon Town 2 (4-2 PEN) - EFL Cup<br />
Cardiff City 0 Queens Park Rangers 2<br />
Barnsley 3 Queens Park Rangers 2<br />
Queens Park Rangers 0 Preston North End 2<br />
Queens Park Rangers 2 Rochdale 1 - EFL Cup<br />
Wigan Athletic 0 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
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The games have been coming thick and fast and being so far away it hasn't been easy to keep up, especially given the 7 hour time difference. God only knows how I'll cope when that changes to 8 hours in a couple of months.<br />
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Transfer deadline day has come and gone...and there's been a lot of talk about how the Championship is becoming as ridiculous as the Premier League- with bigger teams involved, large sums of money changing hands and Sky Sports dictating irritating schedule changes away from the traditional Saturday. To quote Loft for Words 'Everything we used to hate about the Premier League, well it's all here now as well'. It's a valid moan, but outside of some big clubs being relegated (and hasn't that happened before?) is this really new news? Haven't we always known that this division was as competitive, if not more than the Premier League, albeit different in football style and calibre?<br />
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And I am not sure that this season so far, has shown itself to be more disruptive to our scheduled fixture list as previous ones. In fact, now being based so far away I know for a fact I've only been able to watch one bloody match due to televised viewing and that was the very first one. All other shifts have simply been the domino effect of other events and not just TV scheduling. <br />
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Nonetheless, I get it, I also have this nagging feeling of despondency when I think about the last few years supporting QPR. Apart from that one fateful day at Wembley, it seems to have lacked the excitement, passion and heart that is supposed to be associated with our club. So what is it that's getting us down?<br />
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I am learning one important thing. While experience and age can count for something in terms of the wisdom that we hold, you can never legislate for what will happen tomorrow and how everything converges together to create the universe of your existence. This all sounds a little trippy dippy doesn't it? But looking at my own recent experience with moving over the Philippines for this sabbatical I've had a tough time adjusting back in to the culture and the norms even though I know it well and have lived here before. Of course, I realise that I may have had unrealistic expectations and those around may have also had unrealistic expectations about my presence here too. Not only that but we're currently experiencing here some political shifts that, to some, are extremely worrying and they do make you appreciate the most fundamental rights in life which perhaps back in the UK we take for granted. With all of that in the context of my decision to work with various NGOs and social enterprises here as part of my own personal ambition to want to help my country in the development sector and do my tiny part in alleviating the huge problem of poverty, you can imagine how my head is swirling around and wondering about where I am and whether I've made the right decision. And yeah, sometimes I do feel despondent. Actually, sometimes I feel really sad. And sometimes, I am frightened.<br />
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And so to what is happening at QPR, has this feeling of despondency come about because there has been an element of grinding our results so far, and scoring from set pieces as opposed to more exciting open play? Or has it actually been because we're still going through an important period of change where we (as fans) are yet to accept that our whole universe simply isn't the same and not just the bits of it.<br />
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I like to think about it within the context of the 7 stages of grief (outlined below). I won't be doing it in this blog post, but all hardcore QPR fans could probably track our course in this journey since the Tango & Cash days. And in my opinion we've been stuck in stage 4 for some time. This may explain the feeling of despondency...<br />
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1. Shock and denial<br />
2. Pain and guilt<br />
3. Anger and bargaining<br />
4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness<br />
5. The Upward Turn<br />
6. Reconstruction<br />
7. Acceptance and Hope<br />
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Fear not, however, as the next stage is the Upward Turn and there will be certain things that we will learn to accept and live with or live without. I'd like to think in my bonkers little mind that maybe this will be signalled via an unprecedented cup run (so shoot me).<br />
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It's so easy to never make a change, to want things to be the same as they always have been, or how you were told they would be. But where would be the fun and the learning in that? And on that note I'd like to welcome our solid 7 new signings in to the QPR universe and wish them all the best at this blessed club of ours.<br />
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Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-64310516401306205872016-08-10T09:56:00.004+01:002016-08-10T14:49:32.479+01:00Suffer<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Queens Park Rangers 3 Leeds Utd 0<br />
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How wonderful it is to start a season with a win- and not just any win but an emphatic 3-0 one! I chuckled when I saw Polter score as I am surrounded by opposing views on the man. My father hasn't been convinced that he is the ticket for several months now, and my mate Gemma has considered plastering his name on her son's shirt this season. Serious stuff. Personally I think he represents what QPR appears to be becoming: hard-working, positive, competitive and passionate about the club's values. Last night's @qprpod spent a good bit of time discussing his calves and how fit he appears to be, but as per Steve's comments, it isn't just Polter's calves getting a run-in but the whole team's fitness level. And this appears to be making a significant difference. </div>
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Fitness matters a lot in this league - more games, more often, less quality football so more aggressive and physical play. This is obviously a massive priority for JFH who has now had time to get the team to the level he wants it to be. I suspect that (in part) this is what allows us to be competitive. 'Competitive' is a word he uses a lot in his interviews. It's not very original and sometimes you wonder what is really behind it when managers say that want their team to be competitive, especially when it's the answer to the question of what the target is for the season. I mean what the hell does competitive actually mean? Does it mean it doesn't really matter if you lose as long as you try? Does it mean you want to get to the top and be promoted? Does it mean you want 6th place? Does it mean you want 17th place? More often than not I feel like it's a cop-out of an answer. </div>
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Having said all of that, 'suffer' is also a word JFH likes to use in interviews, and it's made me think a lot. He mentioned it even during the post-match interview last Sunday in the context of the latter parts of the game. He was reported in <a href="http://www.getwestlondon.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/jimmy-floyd-hasselbaink-explains-glad-11716142" target="_blank">Get West London</a> 'you learn thing about your team (sic)' as a result of suffering. I like this thinking because, as much as it sounds little negative, it is a realistic approach at the task ahead. Not just for one game, but for the whole season. It simply is no exaggeration to say that the Championship is one of the toughest leagues in the world. It truly is a marathon and not a sprint. And perhaps within that context, the words 'competitive' and 'suffer' don't feel so out of place. Because actually, you've got to look at each game individually and not get carried away. Nothing is certain and unlike the PL where one can generally (I say generally given last season's surprise) predict the top 6, it can be a right lottery back in the bruising Championship world. There simply has to be an acceptance that there will be tough times as well as easier times, but that the approach to managing those tough times that will the key to success. </div>
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I also like the fact that it also aligns with my view of the player Polter has become. He has moved country, learned a new language, obviously trained to an extremely high fitness level and shown his passion (not always too cleverly). And I am sure these things have not come without difficulty and just a little bit of suffering. On a lighter note though, he isn't very trendy and I am not sure about his haircuts or dress sense. He's also a little goofy on his social media pages. All in all he doesn't appear to come with the typical footballer mannerisms we fans have become so used to since we started to splash out on underserving players. </div>
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Perhaps he will become a QPR hero after all?</div>
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Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-40776688296685732112016-08-02T07:18:00.000+01:002016-08-02T07:50:42.623+01:00Remember Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A season preview from afar...<br />
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Well hello there everyone. It feels like a lifetime since the end of last season especially now that I am living abroad. I've been asked by several friends to keep up with the blogging, so I will do my best to do so even though I won't be able to watch every single game.<br />
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Not working for the last 4 months has been a very strange feeling, but it's probably the best (and luckiest) decision I've ever made in my life. As per previous blogs, it hasn't been the easiest settling in but things have improved now that I am now doing all the things I want to do - helping others, enjoying music and travelling the country and Asia. Nevertheless, I know that this coming week is going to be a little more painful because the new season starts and I will long for Loftus Road and I will miss my friends even more. I'll miss the cheeky Nando's, the walk down South Africa Road and picking up AKUTRS, a drink and/or a boogie at the Springbok (which I hear is now closed!), a Tequila at Habanera, a hug of joy after a win or a hug of commiseration with my footie friends...Sigh. What have I left behind?<br />
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For those long time readers of my blog, you will know that 2015 was not the greatest of years. In truth, 2016 didn't improve a lot for many of my friends or family either. A big shock for me happened when one of my best friends was struck with Influenza in March and it was really touch and go at one stage. It was only the day before I had left for the Philippines that she was finally out of her coma and began to talk again. I feel blessed to have been able to witness it before departing. I am also happy to say that after four months in hospital she is now healthy and at home!<br />
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My late mother used to tell me that what was important in life was not all the events that occurred or happened to you but the way that you dealt with those events. Perhaps a nice way of saying 'shit will happen, deal with it'', but I like to think nowadays that it simply it re-iterates the old saying 'Life is a journey, not a destination.' And through all that has happened these past 18 months, my brother has been giving me some great meditation tips. He came to visit me here last month and I was so pleased to see him. One morning, after a pumped up gym session we had a 15 minute meditation session. As 'new age' as it seems, I learned a little something about just taking the time to simply breathe, love yourself and, love others and EVEN love someone who may be a stranger. Like that person who annoys you because she keeps spelling your name wrong at Starbucks, or the lady who never serves you at the bar, or the man who doesn't stand up for a pregnant lady on the tube. I am sure there is a much more intelligent reason behind this meditation but for me it just signifies that sometimes it is better for your health to just let go and remember love. And if perhaps you are a little lost, you might just find love for yourself.<br />
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It was interesting listening to the latest QPRPOD today and the difference in opinion between Clive and Paul- one believes that this pre season, we are being pragmatic and the other believes we are not being ambitious enough. We've got a Championship now full of massive clubs having come up from below as well as those relegated from the PL. We've got a few important players but nothing ground-breaking and we're still without a new striker in sight. It's been a pretty low-key pre-season (perhaps the one we've always wanted?). With this context and having seen last year's wild and unexpected Premier League result I suspect what we will find that this season one of the toughest to predict. So whilst I love the banter, the arguments and the varying ambitions amongst the QPR fans...I am going to resign myself a little to fate and let go and remember love (or at least, I'll try!). So what if the third kit isn't great, so what if Polter will be our hero next season, so what even if the lower loft is still the family stand this season? Blah blah blah.<br />
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On that note, this week I will be embarking on a journey with a group called <a href="http://dreambigpilipinas.com/home/" target="_blank">Dream Big Pilipinas</a> which focuses on transforming under-privileged children's lives her in the Philippines through football and education. In a country which is obsessed with boxing and basketball I am super excited to see the work that they are doing and hope that I can help them in some way. Take a look at their website and love a little.<br />
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I'll be watching on Sunday night from here, with hopefully not too many tears in my eyes.<br />
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You RRRRRRRSSS</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-22452428317406867232016-05-10T07:17:00.000+01:002016-05-10T07:17:03.204+01:00Change<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Burnley 1 Queens Park Rangers 0</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Queens Park Rangers 1 Bristol City 0</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Unfortunately I am not in a great position to comment on the quality of the last two matches. The first one started at the ungodly time of 2345 my time and I fell asleep mid way through, and I missed the other one completely forgetting the earlier kick off. Nevertheless, I continue to feel compelled to write and for some reason some of you still keep reading and wanting more. So it is a pleasure to continue, even though I know you know this isn't really a blog that's just about QPR. It's about everything really going on in my life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">As you know I am currently in Manila and I've been witnessing what could be the most important election the Philippines has ever been through in its history. Who many people describe as the Philippines' own Donald Trump is about to be put in to power, and whilst he has been voted in by a disillusioned majority, there is an elite minority that are afraid of his rather extremist views and potential policies (never mind the boorish, oafish behaviour and comments). But in some ways, viewing it ever so slightly objectively, perhaps it is exactly what this country needs to create the change it badly needs. There are a lot of people that write a hell of a lot better than me about politics so please read this opinion on the 'phenomenon' of Duterte by Jorge Mojarro <a href="http://interaksyon.com/article/127396/opinion--dutertes-rock-star-phenomenon"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; -webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(4, 46, 238); color: #551a8b;">Détente's rock start phenomenon</span></a> to give you a little background and some good global comparison points. I suppose the defining comment for me is in his words 'Until now the system was being kept because it was beneficial for the political and economic elite, but the appearance of Détente might become an opportunity to acknowledge that the quality of democracy can and must be improved.'</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It's very easy for British citizens living back in the UK to take for granted what has been a working, well oiled machine of democracy of its own. And what we are witnessing here in the Philippines is enough time passing now for an extremely young (since independence) and fast growing country and its people (of all classes and levels of wealth), learning to live with the consequences of what a real democracy is. And only time will tell whether the decision made at this election was the right one by the will of the people. If it is not, the country has to learn to do what it needs to do legally, rightfully and in peace if it has a chance in hell of progressing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Over the last 24 hours I've been seeing news about major changes taking place at Loftus Road. I must say, JFH does not hang about, and it has felt quite hurtful that Ale Faurlin and Clint Hill have been released. It has been quiite a shock to the system only a few days after the end of the season. And for some, ongoing talks to keep Hoilett the Toilet feels like rubbing salt in the wounds. On the other hand, I've liked JFH. I make no complaints about what he has done so far — no the results weren't amazing but they weren't too bad considering what he had to work with this season. And he just comes across as the 'right sort'. I've watched him shake the hands of every player from both teams and every official after every single match. This is decent behaviour to me and it shows me he is a thoughtful person on many levels. But I've also seen him get riled up when he thinks people are taking the piss (near-fisticuffs at that match where Hoilett disappeared in to the ground), and I like the fact that he has fire in his belly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Is he the person we need? And if we want real change at QPR, isn't he going to make some decisions that we aren't necessarily going to like? We didn't vote for him and nor did we interview him but for now surely we have to support him until such time that we feel he isn't doing the job he has been hired for, which presumably is to turn the club's fortune's around and create a stability and growth which we haven't seen at the club for several decades. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; min-height: 16px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I could be completely wrong, but let's trust him this summer and next season. Part of the responsibility for the progress we want at QPR lies on us fans supporting whoever is at the helm when required. Let's face it (and with all due respect to the American and Filipino electoral process), JFH is no Trump and no Duterte. We're in pretty safe hands. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-35569732028047034692016-04-24T05:40:00.002+01:002016-04-24T06:37:32.732+01:00Adjusting<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Times; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">Cardiff City 0 Queens Park Rangers 0</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Brighton Hove Albion 4 Queens Park Rangers 0</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Queens Park Rangers 1 Reading 1</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Times; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal; min-height: 19px;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Times; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">So, here goes my first blog post living away from London covering three matches I didn't get to see and only one which I was able to listen to fully (well, that's if you don't count the 5 minutes of the Leyton Orient match that was covered at the beginning)!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Life has been hot here in the Philippines. It's nearly 40 degrees during the day and generally very humid. But I am lucky to be living in a place that has this weird breeze which I think might be something to do with being by the Pasig River. This isn't the prettiest river in the world, but then again Manila was never the prettiest city. Well, not since about 1945 anyway. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I've written before about how I've constantly tried to reconcile the fact that I come from two places. Even though I was born in the Philippines and spent much of my childhood here, I love the UK dearly as well. And even though I love the UK for its safety, it's organised way, its tolerant nature and lack of corruption, I am always drawn to the chaos, the dirt and the passion of the Philippines. It will be the story of my life until I leave this world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Times; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">So in my first few days here, I can say I am still in a period of adjustment. Everything is different. And when I am on the other side (be it here or there) I often forget how different it is, and then realise I need to change a little. Expectations simply can't be the same, whether that be about how you eat, sleep, drink, exercise, hang out with friends or family...make plans. And things that you might be disappointed with in the UK are simply just the norm here. To be fair, the same goes the other way around. Last time I returned to the UK from 18 months living here it took me over a year to adjust to life again in the UK. Life is complicated though. It isn't as simple as just being in a different place with a different culture. Whatever one is going through personally has a huge bearing on how one behaves, and how one deals with change. Past experiences have been painful for me whether it be centred around my love life, or the illness and death of my mother. And it's very strange to now be faced with no major challenges other than my own goals and dreams. I find it very hard to be selfish. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The last three results at QPR can only be explained as indicative of a period of adjustment. And it's no bad thing. A 4-0 hammering at Brighton was upsetting but if we're honest with ourselves, it shouldn't be a surprise. They are better than us in many ways. The other two results, showed some promise but there is obviously still some work to do. Some things will obviously need to change (giving Washington more time perhaps), and other things may improve if Jimmy continues to push his work ethic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Times; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-kerning: none;">I asked my friends from the Tequila Rs to give me a quote or two of their view of yesterday's match. I haven't received them yet — but I did get a 'pre-match quote' from Gary which read: 'Boring game, why is Phillips playing? Good equaliser by Chery. Ref is terrible!' With hindsight, Gary wasn't spot on, but he wasn't far off. And I suppose having thought of this in the first place is an indication of how there are some things we should surely expect, and others we simply can't predict in this time of change. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">What I can say is that, like me, living out in a different world which I may well already be familiar with from years of living here in the past, we need to be patient. I believe that the world can change, and people can change — sometimes for the better. And the things that change for the worse, well life is too short to focus energy on those things. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br></div>
<br>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">So, goodbye Phillips, but please stay Jimmy. I think you have the right ideas and the strength to make difficult decisions with an understanding of the culture and the colours of the club and its fans. Perhaps, like me, you could be (to use a phrase my brother coined), a cultural chameleon. </span></div>
</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-73283316487799319232016-04-13T13:37:00.002+01:002016-04-13T13:37:43.742+01:00Amusing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Queens Park Rangers 2 Charlton Athletic 1<br />
<br />
<br />
I am thankful that my last game of the season was a win, albeit an 'ugly' one, with a beautiful goal in the final minutes courtesy of El Khayati. It felt good to be with friends and have an excuse to give them a huge hug when that goal was scored. I also celebrated afterwards at my leaving drinks with many great friends who took time out of their day to join me. I'll miss you lot! The next day I also found out I had won a bet on the Grand National - picking the name based on the old Tears For Fears hit - Everybody Wants to Rule the World (not the Take That song it was actually named after!). So all in all a positive and lucky week for the Emster.<br />
<br />
I haven't quite figured out how I will continue writing about QPR from abroad, but I think with a bit of creative thinking and some help from friends I might just be able to do it and it might be even more amusing than usual. Watch this space.<br />
<br />
And speaking of amusing things, the other night my neighbour reminded me of the 'radio show' that Gemma and I did 2 seasons ago for the Derby away game on Mixlr. The recording still sits on the Mixlr website and having not heard it since then I decided to have a little listen. Honestly, I had no idea just how funny it was. If you fancy a bit of light relief go to my showreel on: <a href="http://mixlr.com/elmodedude/showreel/" target="_blank">Showreel</a>. I remember clearly how we were determined to make it crystal clear that no one should be listening if they were expecting any serious commentary. And as we poured glass after glass of wine, we must have sounded like the Patsy and Edina of football. And amazingly, we had about 60 listeners at one point-many of whom were not actually known to us. I honestly think there is still a gap in the market for frivolous and irreverent football humour coming from the female gender. A selection of great quotes to whet the appetite:<br />
<br />
"If you want commentary you are in the wrong place."<br />
<br />
"This is not professional, and it's very biased, and if there are any rude men around who are sexist you will hear this sound *sound machine plays*, and we will also be very sexist."<br />
<br />
"Don't consider this a fact-based show."<br />
<br />
"Richard is my neighbour, he is a big Snotts County fan, he is not actually with us today because his partner would be with us too and she would interrupt the whole time"<br />
<br />
"Simon Thomas from Sky has over-plucked his eyebrows."<br />
<br />
I do miss some of the old QPR podcasts that weren't always that serious. I remember the first one I went on which was called a 'spit and sawdust' episode. No special guests, no agenda. But I was in fits of laughter. The title of that podcast was 'Lucky Knickers'. Says it all really. More recently I saw the bit of controversy on twitter about the QPR Podcast a few days ago. Completely unfair really. Why complain when people are perfectly within their rights to do their own show and make their own commentary? If I could have an opinion though, I would only say that a bit more light humour would be add a bit more colour to the show... More recently I enjoyed the kids being invited on to the show. Kids always have a way of telling the God honest truth completely innocently. Was it Finney's daughter who said she supported QPR because her Dad made her? Very funny.<br />
<br />
I fly out to Asia in 3 days and it feels unreal that the long wait of about 7 months is coming to an end. My fingers and toes are crossed that I will find as much laughter and fun in the next year as I have had with my friends and family here.<br />
<br />
You RRRRRRSSSS<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-22944550791829225422016-04-06T10:58:00.001+01:002016-04-06T10:58:09.825+01:00Milestones<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Too many games...<br />
<br />
Last one: Leeds Utd 1 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
<br />
A huge apology for being very lax in writing posts this year. I haven't forgotten the blog, or some of my supportive readers. I have been very busy planning my long sabbatical from work and from London which starts tomorrow.<br />
<br />
There is much to tell everyone and there will be many blog posts to come. It will be Emily's QPR blog from abroad. So it comes with more of a twist than it already does and I hope that you do enjoy reading my stories on my journey of discovery and about how much I miss QPR over the coming year.<br />
<br />
There did come a point at one stage in my life where I felt that nothing was moving forward anymore. I felt a bit stuck. But one thing this past year has taught me is that only you can make yourself feel that way and there is always a way to do the things you love and be the person you want to be. And that life is full of milestones...right up until the very end.<br />
<br />
I am feeling that QPR is currently reaching a milestone of calm and stability and I am very excited to see how this will form the basis of a team that we've been waiting to see for many many years. I have great faith in JFH and I like the intelligence and decent behaviour he brings to the table. Not many people like that around these days I am afraid. Gold dust.<br />
<br />
You'll hear from me soon and I'll see some of you at my last home game on Saturday vs. Charlton.<br />
<br />
Come on you RRRRRsssss<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-69674420675298235672016-02-14T11:34:00.002+00:002016-02-14T11:34:20.948+00:00Moving on<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Queens Park Rangers 1 Hull City 2<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nottingham Forest 1 Queens Park Rangers 0<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blackburn Rovers 1 Queens Park Rangers 1<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rotherham Utd 0 Queens Park Rangers 3<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Queens Park Rangers 1 Wolves 1<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nottingham Forest 0 Queens Park Rangers 0<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Queens Park Rangers 1 Ipswich Town<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Queens Park Rangers 1 Fulham 3<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is this song by Hard Fi called Move On Now which I
quite like. Hard Fi aren't in my top ten list of bands, but they can write
songs and Move On Now is a strange ballad for a rock band -with a trumpet in
the middle...a sort of jazzy interlude for the rest of that breakthrough album:
Stars of CCTV. Of course, the title speaks for itself. This solemn sort of song
about a broken relationship as he looks out his window to the planes taking off
from Heathrow I have always found touching.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It's a song that's been in my head a lot during this time of
great transition both in my life and in the life of QPR. All the more apt when
I hear: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking out my bedroom window<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
See the planes take off from Heathrow<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One by one they come and go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On and on, on and on<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Think about this place I call home<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All the shots and all that come<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All around, all around<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clubs have all closed down<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nothing's going on round here, it's time we left town<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before it brings us down, down, down<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I suppose the one thing I can say as I read this is that
there is no way I am getting out of QPR. It's stuck with me as much as I am
stuck with it. I am annoyed and angry but I haven't shut up shop just yet. I am
good with being angry at the club and the players. I get that. But let's not be
so hard on ourselves...Given that we've lost so much recently, we have to
remember we are ourselves impacted by grief and change. And if we take that in
to account I suspect we're only on stage two of the five stages of grief
(denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think about the places I'd go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It makes me think of the monotony; what it has been like
sitting at Loftus Road week in week out. And the reason for the lack of blog
posts from me this year...I remember bringing a friend to Loftus Road many
years ago. He was trying to like the football for me. But from our seat in
South Africa Road he literally plane-watched. I didn't understand it as things
were different on the pitch then. But I sure as hell would understand it now.
It might be more exciting if I played 'guess the airline' with my Flight Radar
App. Endless hours of fun. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was out of town during the last match against Fulham and
out of town again this time. I suppose I must be grateful for being so
fortunate, although sometimes superstition does kick in and I think, would we
have won if I was there? Fat chance. I did watch on the net though, and from
the off I could hear our fans doing their part in what should be a derby where the
team must come out for a fight. Twenty minutes in though, and I
thought...something just isn't working here. Forty five minutes and I wondered
why I had even bothered. At sixty minutes I started falling asleep. And then of
course there was the twitter meltdown. Fans angry at the performance, angry at
the team's attitude...and rightly so. People calling for the board to sort
things out, people calling for Fernandes' head. People are revolted,
disgusted...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I honestly don't know where I stand on all of that. There
isn't enough that we are exposed to, to truly know the ins and outs both at
board level and in the training ground. But what I do know, is that management
during a transition period is always hard. There may be times when results go
our way and other times when they will not. At the very least, you want the
team to show pride in wearing the shirt, a positive attitude. But the human
spirit is fragile- what do we know about what might have happened in the
dressing room that morning. Or in all the players' various homes - a row with
the WAG perhaps or up all night with a new-born baby? Who knows? And how does a
manager 'manage' that? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course I hope the reason for such a poor performance does
lie within the realms of a fortune as opposed to a lack of respect for the
shirt. And on that basis, let's say I am not optimistic, but I am sympathetic
to the cause of transition and change. It take time, it really does. But for us
fans, time is always of the essence because we spend so much of it being such
passionate supporters. For many of us, it's the one thing we look forward to
week in week out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Move on Now finishes: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dance halls are empty<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Got a feeling my love, we've gotta get out<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
It might also be worth just sitting back and continue
watching the planes land at Heathrow with that jazzy trumpet playing in the
background and just letting things be. Something will move on one day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span></div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-20198655822773300032015-12-28T18:51:00.000+00:002015-12-28T18:51:03.166+00:00Resolutions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Reading 0 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
Queens Park Rangers 0 Burnley 0<br />
Queens Park Rangers 2 Brighton Hove Albion 2<br />
Bristol City 1 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
Ipswich Town 2 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
Queens Park Rangers 1 Huddersfield Town 1<br />
<br />
2015 has been a tough year for me, and for many friends. It's also been a pretty shoddy year for QPR. We haven't even had a lucky win at Wembley to provide rose tinted spectacles...<br />
<br />
I am hoping that 2016 will be bring us better luck and fortune. And for the first time in many years I may even set myself some new year resolutions. Perhaps QPR could learn a thing or two from my 4.<br />
<br />
1. Have a bit more belief<br />
<br />
There is nothing wrong with respecting others for their own ability and success. But not to the detriment of your own self-belief and confidence. I find as I progress in my own career much of my time is actually spent problem solving: problem solving the most strategic issues that a client has, through to the most mundane day to stay stuff. And although it can feel frustrating at times, actually, days go much more smoothly when I realise that it IS actually is my job and that's exactly what I am good at. And most of the time, when I don't pay too much respect for others getting stuff right I usually find that something was done wrong...and the problem is then easily solved. That's not to poopoo others and their work but it's much more helpful to keep an open mind and make no assumptions. I've heard JFH say a few times that we must 'respect' other teams. Agree to an extent, but only to an extent. If you can't believe you can be better or that others can fail, your success will only be limited.<br />
<br />
2. Don't stand still<br />
<br />
It's easy to get stuck in a rut sometimes, or in a boring routine, feeling as if nothing changes or nothing new and exciting is happening. Well, that's okay if you want some peace and not too much action. But nothing changes if you stand still. At QPR we have had a lot of change, and it would certainly be nice to see some stability at the club in terms of the way it's being managed. But I am keen to see more change in how the team is playing, and what we are relying on. It's apparent to all that without Charlie we struggle to score goals. Something has to change in the team and the tactics to truly make us a great team. It can't simply be all about Charlie. Great teams do have great strikers, but they also have a great 'everyone else' that they do without those strikers sometimes. The sun will always rise tomorrow, and Charlie may or may not play for us again. But what moves are we going to make to get us to being a good team, and not just Charlie's team? I feel today's match against Huddersfield is a great example of us standing still mentally and physically!!<br />
<br />
3. Do more for others<br />
<br />
2016 is going to be a massive year for me in terms of my involvement in more charity work. More details to follow...but it's been a dream of mine since I was 18 to spend real quality time doing something to help others less fortunate than myself. I think QPR as a club does some great things for the community. It makes me very proud to be a Rangers supporter, to see what everyone at QPR in the Community Trust does, and how fans pull together for their causes. I like how our fans pull together for our ex players too. I think on a 'footballing' level, I'd like to see a bit more work being done to really get some of our players playing up to their full potential. I am talking about the transformation we have seen in Hoilett- he's gone from toilet to a shiny new player. In the programme today he says 'Every professional footballer wants to play every week. But I've got good family and friends who helped me through what was a difficult period for me'. Well, that's okay, but what about the manager and coaches themselves bringing out some of that confidence and potential in the players? There is a worrying situation of decent players sitting on the bench: Luongo, JET and Chery...are we doing enough to bring them through as valuable alternatives. We seem to be continuing to play under-achievers (e.g. Fer, Polter and Phillips) until the manager is just completely fed up with them. How you manage people, other than simply telling them what to do, is critical to the success of the team.<br />
<br />
4. Have some fun!<br />
<br />
Yeah. Sometimes we can take things waaay to seriously. 2016 is going to be a bit more about fun and laughter. I will force myself to go out more often, and I won't work too hard. I have often met the people I call my best friends when I've been out and about. JFH strikes me as someone who is very earnestly serious. While it's important to be serious about the job in hand at QPR, we need to lighten up a little bit. Admittedly this is not helped by our owners aiming for a play off place. But why why why should we? Does it really help in the long term? Why can't we focus on what we have, and hope for the best? Often the best results happen when you aren't worrying too much and when you are enjoying yourself. There is also something to be said for hearing naughty stories about the lads having a good old piss up together. Nothing like bonding over a beer or ten.<br />
<br />
At this point I'd like to thank everyone for continuing to read and support the blog. I do feel an obligation to write even when a handful of you respond!<br />
<br />
Here is to a bright, and hopefully more adventurous 2016 for QPR. Oh, and for me too.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-60174083970375032432015-11-29T10:25:00.000+00:002015-11-29T11:14:42.479+00:00Love in all its forms<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Derby County 1 Queens Park Rangers 0<br>
Queens Park Rangers 0 Preston North End 0<br>
Middlesbrough 1 Queens Park Rangers 0<br>
Queens Park Rangers 1 Leeds United 0<br>
<br>
When I was much younger I fell in love all the time. I don't know if it's a girl thing. Maybe it is. But I was always falling in love whether it was on holiday (Mauritian hotel host, boy at disco in Manila), at school (first kiss, first boyfriend, well..first everything), or during my gap year (love of my life, love at first sight, several dodgy dates). That slowed down 'big time' in my working years. People always ask why I am still single. I am now at that age where there are big questions why. And I must say I do wonder whether I smell sometimes. I hear from others that people who live alone don't always notice how they look or smell. This can be a worry.<br>
<br>
So, is it work? Or is it all the other things happening in my life that have taken up so much time? Tending to my mother before she died for example being a big thing. Or is it that since then my version of love simply isn't the same as it once was. Out at dinner with a friend this week talking about this very topic he was shocked at my point of view, as if I was missing out on something by not searching for that exciting and almost dangerous feeling. Maybe it just isn't this tumultuous butterfly in tummy inducing event any more I thought... perhaps it is something a little less obvious, but no less special .<br>
<br>
But the conversation did make me think.<br>
<br>
Supporting QPR has been one of the things that I have wrapped around me as a blanket these past few years. If one wanted to use an analogy this is one messed up love affair where I (and several other partners in the harem) are simply not getting much in return. Sometimes we are unfairly abused despite our best efforts. There have been some moments of extreme excitement. For me that Liverpool win a few years back at home, under the lights, with Mackie scoring the winner and of course that day at Wembley in 2014 stand out for me. But these last few games I have literally questioned just exactly what have I been getting out of this relationship. Apart from no wins...goal level at zero was starting to become extremely boring. Consistent, reliable but boring and not very good. Now...if I think about it, who really wants that? Especially when, to be honest, in all other areas, the club isn't yet ticking all the boxes we have asked of it (e.g. clear strategy for management, youth development, team selection, transfer policy etc). I suppose I might take such performances if those areas were much clearer but at the moment, all that I hear and see has felt a little nebulous to me and therefore most performances have been so dull I haven't felt the inspiration to write about them.<br>
<br>
Yesterday, however, I was given a glimpse of hope. I am hoping that by choice (outside of striker injury!) rather than by default the team selection was impeccable. Defensively strong, a midfield that could pass the ball - Hoilett, Petrasso (youth!), and Sandro all committing and working for each other. Simple and basic things being done correctly and so obviously under the influence of Warnock. It was a pleasure once again. And Charlie oh Charlie, once again proving his worth.<br>
<br>
It is no secret that my obsession with Niko Kranjcar petered out towards the end of last season. It was always a battle between Charlie and Niko. And the truth is that while Niko was probably the most handsome man I have ever seen (EVER), Charlie was really always the one. Because he can really play football. I mean really. He doesn't just score goals, but he is always there, off the ball as well as on it, defensively and in the midfield too. Does my heart flutter when he walks past me, or when I watch the little video from him saying 'get well soon'? Maybe it does.<br>
<br>
And maybe just maybe, I am not so boring about love after all.<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br></div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-66380400963438911932015-10-31T10:21:00.001+00:002015-10-31T10:21:46.154+00:00Fate or fortune<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Queens Park Rangers 2 Blackburn Rovers 2<br />
Hull City 1 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
Fulham 4 Queens Park Rangers 0<br />
Queens Park Rangers 4 Bolton Wanderers 3<br />
Birmingham City 2 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
Queens Park Rangers 0 Sheffield Wednesday 0<br />
Queens Park Rangers 3 MK Dons 0<br />
Brentford 1 Queens Park Rangers 0<br />
<br />
Firstly, I must make a massive apology for not writing a post for so long. I always knew that travel plans would mean I'd miss some games...so I listened to many of the earlier ones from abroad. Fulham away was listened to for one very exciting minute (the remaining 44 being very depressing) on the wifi of Turkish Airlines during an 11 hour flight from Hong Kong to Istanbul. Needless to say I had the great excuse of being too tired and jet lagged to really be able to concentrate on the 2nd half so at 3-0 down I switched off and slept.<br />
<br />
Looking at the results above just as a plain list without any context it's pretty hard to find any real rhyme, reason or pattern there. I guess except to say that perhaps we've stopped leaking too many goals- thanks probably to the inclusion of Clint Hill in the squad and Warnock in his suspicious 'advisory' role. And I guess for me it's emblematic of how I've been feeling about things lately. Sometimes it's easy to be fatalistic about things, often it's romantic notions that make me lean that way. But sometimes things just happen and there isn't a whole lot of decent explanation why.<br />
<br />
It's been a crazy few weeks and I've missed most of the above games both home and away which is rare for me. As I said, initially due to travel but more recently after coming back from the Philippines I was hit, unknowingly at first, with Dengue fever. Having been admitted quickly in to hospital after a visit to the GP I was frightened as hell having not spent any time in hospital since I was 8 years old when I had my adenoids taken out. So I've spent the last 2 weeks ill, being prodded, tested and then diagnosed with Dengue, and the last week thankfully recovering at home. Dengue in general isn't dangerous but it can kill and there is no immunisation as yet. And I never in a million years thought I might get it because I've never really been one to get mosquito bites and I've spent several years travelling back and forth from Asia...and was born there. But Dengue can happen to anyone, not just 'travellers'. As they say 's*** happens'.<br />
<br />
Having spent, for the first time in many years, so many games listening from far away or in a sick bed - and not being able to see much action in the flesh, it's been so hard to get a real sense of what has been going on. And again looking at the list of results it's almost as if the only explanation I can give for the rather random set of numbers, is that s** is seriously happening. Scientific I know (and just the rational report you've been waiting for from me!).<br />
<br />
Seriously though, I talk about the defensive improvements that have been made. But having been able to watch the Brentford game on telly last night, and from everything I am seeing on twitter and hearing from friends, it looks as if we've made a bit of an assumption that our issue has been defence. But in our over subscribed mid field I am seeing gaping issues and a lack of creativity. Henry, weirdly for me, is a great defensive midfielder for the Premier League, but in a league where we should have a bit more attacking scope why aren't we seeing a bit more of Faurlin? And last night's subs confused me- Chery off for Austin, and Luongo for Hoilett? I'm no tactician but why are we removing our hope for midfield creativity. Henry and Tozser are just not cutting it for me right now. And what is Gladwin doing back at Swindon? Random random random...<br />
<br />
Having been a bonkers year for me which I am not sure I could have predicted on New Year's Eve 2014, I can only say that I am unable to provide any predictions for QPR and what is to come. What I can say for sure though is that the last few weeks have helped me to remember all the important things. Family, friends and QPR have all been very sweet and and whilst it was touch and go on how serious my illness at one point, it's not a jot on some of the things some of my dearest friends have been through this year. So I am very grateful and a little embarrassed by the attention.<br />
<br />
Our performances of late (regardless of results), have certainly been disappointing, but I am still extremely proud of supporting a club with players that do take the time out for individual fans. I've always known that was the case, but I have now experienced it first hand.<br />
<br />
Thanks you to Charlie, Clint and the club and thanks to my wonderful friends. And good luck to the lads over the next few weeks. Whilst we are unsure of our fate for now, it looks like we're going to need a bit of good fortune (wink).<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-70747012882917472022015-09-13T10:50:00.001+01:002015-09-13T10:50:39.933+01:00Making the best<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Queens Park Rangers 1 Carlisle United 2 (Capital One Cup)<br />
Huddersfield 0 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
Queens Park Rangers 1 Nottingham Forest 2<br />
<br />
Yesterday's match was in one word, a disaster! With the game in our control and a moment of weakness it was quickly taken away from us. Oh, think of all the parallels I can draw with life and those moments of panic and loss of control.<br />
<br />
I had this blog post all planned out before yesterday's match. It was going to be about Charlie and all the other players that stayed at QPR on transfer deadline day and about how, at that point, all our minds were on making the best of what we thought we were going to have (none of them). Then I was going to talk about how, now with those players (Greeno, Matty, Charlie), our best could be even better than we had first assumed.<br />
<br />
It's a funny old world, when events conspire against you, and not for lack of trying. No, I don't think we were great at all yesterday, but I would certainly say we need to give Forest a bit of credit for frustrating our style of play. It was tricky from the start- I could feel the tension and even tweeted that I could see red cards coming our way. Little did I know it was come at such a heavy price. And I am a bloody softy really. I have way too much empathy than I'd like (often to my own detriment), that when I got home and saw Greeno's face on the telly, I actually felt sorry for him. I couldn't really tell what sort of expression he did have - it was somewhere between embarrassment and tearfulness (or maybe it was simply the strong sun in his eyes).<br />
<br />
And speaking of expressions, from the moment Charlie got on the pitch I could see this match was going to be an important one for him. After all the press (which is still ongoing and is now about the January transfer window!), and the palaver surrounding a potential departure from Loftus Road, Charlie is a true professional in the sense that he is guided by decent principles that anyone would respect: Those that protect his family, his personal growth and the people that have done good by him in his life. And yesterday he looked pumped up and serious about the game. Perhaps you could say it's because he didn't come through the academy system and that's why he's like that. Or the other well-often scribed view, is that because he was a brickie 6 years ago he knows the value of hard work. But the more I think about it, the more I realise that that is simply who Charlie is and how he was brought up. I think he would have been the same person, academy or not. Having said that, he had a point to prove. After scoring what was, to me, a truly magnificent Charlie special, he ran over to South Africa Road and looked up to our block with a deadly serious face and his finger to his lips. I was in cloud 9, and assumed at first that he was looking at me (remember #slidingmovements) - and then I thought perhaps it was a Sky camera man because maybe he was silencing David Sullivan and anyone else who had doubts about his Premier League ability. Only later I was told some bloke in our block had heckled him about his work rate apparently. He was silencing the critics, but silencing those our very own ground. Who would have thought?<br />
<br />
So what of the future now that the dust has almost settled until January at least? I am still seeing a team working hard to play as a team at least on a personal level. With the muted atmosphere yesterday I could hear them talking to each other, encouraging each other, and obviously playing out some formations learned in training. There is plenty to work on tactically and I am not sure everyone is 100% happy or comfortable where they are positioned. But I'm happy with what is being pulled together as it is all being done with the right attitude that we've been begging for for years. Life ain't all roses as we know, and 'clutzy' mistakes will happen. Dear old Smithies now has the mammoth task of winning the hearts and the trust of fans for the next three games. But like us, he's got to make the most of what he's got. It's a challenge which must be seen as a great opportunity - and I wish him all the best.<br />
<br />
You RRRs<br />
<br /></div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-12009761858770306652015-08-23T11:15:00.001+01:002015-08-23T11:15:06.563+01:00Connections<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Charlton Athletic 2 Queens Park Rangers 0<br />
Yeovil Town 0 Queens Park Rangers 3<br />
Queens Park Rangers 2 Cardiff City 2<br />
Wolves 2 Queens Park Rangers 3<br />
Queens Park Rangers 4 Rotherham Utd 2<br />
<br />
<br />
For most of my life I have been very conscious of my mixed heritage. My experiences living in the UK, Hong Kong and the Philippines have very much made me who I am affected how I feel about things. I think there are others who feel the same way. Back in 2010, a woman who was schooled in Hong Kong released a book called <a href="http://hk-magazine.com/city-living/article/eurasian-nation" target="_blank">The Eurasian Nation</a>. This book is a collection of thoughts and photographs from people of combined Asian and Western ancestry. Reading through some of the examples, you can see that every experience and every person is unique. It reminds me that we simply can't generalise about human connections, but that in life, connections mean everything.<br />
<br />
This is a comfort as I continue to write this blog and share my thoughts on the ups and downs at QPR and all the connections that we make as we support our team. And as I glance at the results so far, it looks like we are, as always, in for a roller-coaster ride. I am not sure that we're going to be challenging for a play off spot (especially with the potential departure of Phillips and Austin), but I don't think many of us expect or want that. Conversely, we're too good to be struggling in the dregs of the bottom of the table (even if they do go). Our roller-coaster this season is going to be something to do with getting to grips with a new ethos and a new team. The kind of team most of us fans have been begging for for 3-4 years! We're in (to use <a href="http://study.com/academy/lesson/stages-of-group-development-forming-storming-forming-performing-adjourning.html" target="_blank">an often used business term</a>), the 'forming' phase of group development (of which there are four). And we're in it when there are pressures and targets that need to be achieved at least once, if not three or four times a week! We haven't even hit the 'storming' or 'norming' phase...we might not get there until the end of the season. Oh, to one day reach the 'performing' stage...<br />
<br />
We simply have be realistic and honest about what is to come.<br />
<br />
It seems to me, amongst of all of this, that our first problem to solve, is the number of goals we're leaking in. Never one to claim any tactical expertise, I'd be open to hearing what's at the heart of this problem. Is it our overall attacking approach, or it is specific individuals or specific positions? Having not had a single clean sheet in the league is a major concern. I don't remember it being like this at all two seasons ago. It's almost like we've got two different teams within a team, with the defenders totally unconnected to the forwards.<br />
<br />
Nonetheless, yesterday was one of those few moments in a season where everything seemed to come together and prove to me that it's still a club worth being involved in. Credit must be given to those at the club who very quickly started to plan Stan Bowles Day after hearing the news about his Alzheimer's diagnosis. And by the looks of it, the club did everything it possibly could that day to drive awareness of the condition, raise money for Alzheimer's Society and for Stan himself. It was great to see him smiling and the atmosphere in the ground was fantastic. Many people there, including myself are simply not old enough or were born early enough to remember Stan Bowles playing. But that was irrelevant on a day which was all about connections: All of the fans with Stan, Stan with the club and with Loftus Road, the younger with the older generation of QPR fans, the players with the history of this club, and all of us together with our friends enjoying the icing on the cake in the form of a 4-2 win.<br />
<br />
Please donate to the two causes if you can:<br />
<br />
Stan Bowles- personal <a href="http://www.gofundme.com/StanBowles" target="_blank">Go Fund Me </a> page to help support his care<br />
<br />
Alzheimer's Sociery - special Stan Bowles <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/stanbowlesday" target="_blank">Fund Raising Page</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-23801508360918021482015-08-08T10:04:00.001+01:002015-08-08T10:04:20.018+01:00Clichés<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Preview- QPR- Season 2015-2016<br />
<br />
I need to start getting it out of my head that my life works in three year cycles: three years of good and three years of bad. Especially on this important first day of the football season. But it's been hard. It's been an extremely tough year. The football fizzled out and I didn't even write a final 'report'. In my personal life I had bad news after bad news.Now I am hoping my quota for bad news this year is full and I can now move on and look forward to better things.<br />
<br />
I kept up to date a little with the summer goings-on at QPR, but haven't been immersed in it. Not as much as last year. I've made some big changes in my life that have controlled where I am focused. But I did go to the friendly on my own at the Hive against Dundee. It was a bright summer's evening in London that reminded me of why I love this country so very much. And then I smiled a lot watching a game of football, and that included savouring every moment of Charlie playing...thinking perhaps he would disappear before deservedly moving to a bigger and better club than ours.<br />
<br />
Today I have my ticket in-hand for Charlton away and I am looking out of my window to what looks like a beautiful warm day ahead. I am thinking of my football friends who I hope I'll see, and I'm trying to remember that every moment counts and to be in the present. And when I think of that, and think of the great little report on the <a href="http://www.fansnetwork.co.uk/football/queensparkrangers/news/39601/?utm_medium=twitter&utm_term=%23qpr&utm_content=%23qpr&utm_source=twitterfeed" target="_blank">LFW</a> site, I realise just how apt such a mantra is in relation to how we support this club.<br />
<br />
My brother said the other day something like 'Forget the past it's gone, don't worry about the future, it isn't here yet...live for the present'. Perhaps this post is full of clichés but I suppose there is a reason why they exist. And for QPR, we've got to stop moaning about what has happened before- with existing and old owners, with our overpaid and under-delivering players, with the ground move - or not a ground move, with our issues on the family stand or the freaking PR policy. And while we can worry about the future (which at this very point is really open to the elements), what is it that most of us hardcore fans remember at the very end of the day when it comes to supporting our team? I remember my friends, the days out and experiences up and down the country, the joy of finding a new crazy item for my 'borrowed' dog at the 'Superstore', or singing a ridiculous song when we are playing really badly. Sometimes, if we are lucky, there are pieces of sublime football that can cap a day off superbly.<br />
<br />
Our joy in life, and our joy in QPR is simply in our own hands. So I wish everyone a joyful season and a wonderful result today.</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-74373951164236683582015-05-21T14:36:00.004+01:002015-05-21T14:36:58.071+01:00Perspective<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Manchester City 6 Queens Park Rangers 0<br />
<br />
Queens Park Rangers 2 Newcastle 1<br />
<br />
<br />
Losing 6-0 is painful, but it's not like we haven't seen it before. Making up for it with a slim win over a crap team made things marginally better, but overall it's been a damp squib of an end of a season. So much so that I am planning not to use the three Leicester tickets I bought this Sunday. <br />
<br />
QPR events and other things happening in my life have made me more philosophical than usual. I've been having lots of really 'hippy-like' talks with friends in the past couple of months...about fate, the universe and the cosmos. I wonder whether it shows my age that I still think like this sometimes . In some ways it feels like it goes against the grain of the Millennial mindset filled with aggressive ambition. I do believe that sometimes we spend so much time arguing, being negative, making politics out of nothing in supporting our team and in many other walks of life. And my answer right now is simply that maybe it's just time to let go a little.<br />
<br />
Why am I saying all of this? It's a short blog post this time around. I've just heard news that a very beloved friend has lost his little girl to a long term illness. I found out via a message from him around 5am this morning, 6000 miles away. In my slightly hungover haze I was once reminded about what is important.<br />
<br />
After all, when all said and done, we are left only with our souls, our integrity and the love that we have for each other.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-5375416461258812172015-05-06T18:18:00.002+01:002015-05-06T18:18:43.218+01:00Things to look forward to...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Queens Park Rangers 0 West Ham 0<br />
<br />
Liverpool 2 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
<br />
Well it's been a little depressing hasn't it?<br />
<br />
And I'm just looking outside at the wind and rain dreaming of warmer spring weather and summer barbecues.<br />
<br />
So, while we get used to the thought of life back in the Champ I thought I'd think about all the lovely things we have to look forward to next season .<br />
<br />
#1 Saturday games<br />
<br />
Honestly, who cares about wall to wall coverage and online streams of all games when one has to contend with games on a Saturday morning or a Sunday evening? (Okay so 12 isn't morning but it sure does feel like it when you have a hangover.) One thing that's great about the Champ is the regular Saturday games at 3pm. This is great because a. you have time to recover from said hangover, and b. you have the next day to recover from the drinking you did the day before whilst dancing at the Springbok disco.<br />
<br />
#2 More games<br />
<br />
Well, we all know there's one thing harder than staying in the Premier League and that's winning the Championship. It's a tough season with so many games and so many teams. But isn't it just fun to have so many more games- and often two during a week? Call me greedy but I enjoy gobbling them all up.<br />
<br />
#3 Yorkshire games<br />
<br />
Well, this is of great importance to me personally. My Gran is from Yorkshire and this season has totally SUCKED for her because I've only made one trip to see her when I went to see the Rangers play Hull away. In the Champ she gets to see me 3 or 4 times in a season, I stay up with her in sunny Doncaster for the weekend and get treated like a champ myself. Fish Bits of Doncaster here I come.<br />
<br />
#4 Better beer<br />
<br />
I'm a proper beer girl myself (none of that namby pamby lager). And one thing that's great about away games in the lower leagues, especially those 'oop north' is that the beer in many of the grounds is really rather good. AND also very cheap.<br />
<br />
#5 No more half n' half scarves<br />
<br />
Ahh, these scarves are the bane of any real fan's match experience. We fans of English football love a good moan, so although I'll miss growling about the half n' half scarves, I'll enjoy not seeing them at all next season and look forward to visiting new towns, new grounds and meeting some lovely fans of QPR and of other teams.<br />
<br />
<br />
And about moaning. It's not good for you. Let's smile a bit more. Studies have shown that smiling lowers heart rate, reduces stress, puts you in a better mood, increases productivity AND encourages trust. Now who wouldn't want that eh?<br />
<br />
You RRRss</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-64362896770424241722015-04-12T19:34:00.001+01:002015-04-12T19:34:58.116+01:00Soul searching<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
West Bromwich Albion 1 Queens Park Rangers 4<br />
<br />
Aston Villa 3 Queens Park Rangers 3<br />
<br />
Queens Park Rangers 0 Chelsea 1<br />
<br />
I've been wondering about what separates the great teams from the good teams. And you could argue that today's result showed us the difference. One mistake on a windswept pitch and Chelsea bullied us in to a last minute goal. Up until that point I had spent 87 minutes believing that it's not always class and skill that wins the game, and sometimes, just sometimes it's belief and hard graft. But that's not football is it? And if it were, perhaps we wouldn't have won that famous day at Wembley last year.<br />
<br />
The last couple of weeks since the Everton match have made me feel differently about how we've been playing. I was away on holiday, and almost felt as if my absence was a catalyst for such fantastic results in the Midlands. After a really crazy-busy winter, I really needed to recharge the batteries and do a bit of soul-searching. It's so easy to feel caged in when you are in a cycle, but time off to think, and the chance to listen to the Rs winning over the internet helped me to clear my thoughts. It was good to be back to my other home and open my eyes again to the wider world.<br />
<br />
Like most QPR fans I felt that the results did bode well for today's derby- a match which we all take so seriously and for which 'new Chelsea fans' have not an ounce of understanding. It's all rather amusing how this team from the swamp came from nothing to something when huge swathes of money were pumped in to it by Abramovich. And their fans laugh at how much we consider it a huge rivalry even though it is absolutely the purest definition of a derby being separated by 3 miles. I think there are many millionaires and billionaires that have come in to the football ' business' and thought that throwing money would fashion a great team in the same way that it happened for Chelsea. We've been guilty of it to an extent, and failed massively (as is well documented). Frankly I don't know enough about Chelsea's set up to know what, other than money, has brought them success but I do think that within this world there truly is a higher tier of investment which simply isn't within the reaches of our little old club, or most others for that matter. And the handful of clubs that can afford it, ultimately succeed.<br />
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Outside of money, it's easy to think that the path to success in life is strewn with amazing epiphanies, a clear plan of action and positive thinking. When we look at people, companies and teams that do well, we don't always hear about the long hard slog, the zig zagged road that they've taken, the set backs and the angst. And sometimes they don't tell you about the times when they felt like they simply couldn't go on and considered jumping off a building or just giving it all up completely.<br />
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Sometimes when you are on that journey too, you see things you never thought you'd see, or you act like this person you never thought you would. If you don't take care of yourself it is easy to turn in on yourself and be blinded by the inevitable negativity. But most of us make it, survive, and redefine for ourselves and in our own way, what success truly means for us. Ultimately, success isn't the same for everyone.<br />
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Perhaps that is where QPR is right now? While losing this way is hard to take, it's continues to be part of that <a href="http://qprgirl.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/part-of-process.html" target="_blank">process</a> I wrote about last time. I have a great feeling about Chris Ramsay and his attitude. And a great feeling about what Barton often calls the strong 'nucleus' of the team which no longer feels like its been selected via Tombola. I'd like to think that the club is starting to define success for itself on its own terms, but that's just what I'm feeling and hoping- the evidence will ultimately play out over the coming months. To be honest, if I take a step back from the results, the fight for survival, or the potential to go back down, I'm really okay with the team just taking a few deep breaths and doing a little soul-searching if it means I can continue to feel proud of our team the way I am today.<br />
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Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-46005650953798143902015-03-22T19:27:00.001+00:002015-03-22T19:27:24.669+00:00Part of the process<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Crystal Palace 3 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
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Queens Park Rangers 1 Everton 2<br />
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I was going to title this post 'Dad is always right'. But I changed my mind and decided to use something he said to me as we walked to the car after today's match against Everton instead. Obviously, we are as distressed and depressed as other QPR fans tonight. Sunday evening blues just got even worse.<br />
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I've been wondering about what's wrong with us. I don't think it's the same problem as the season before last. Our biggest problem then was lack of spirit and passion. We were carrying several players who neither cared or liked QPR. It isn't perfect in that department now, but it's probably the best we could hope for, for a small club based in London, with, frankly, not a lot of glamour to offer. So tactically, earlier this year, I thought it was our defence. We had injuries and it was all going rather pear-shaped. Then I started wondering about our mid field (too slow, lacking creativity), but Fer started to shine...Last week at Palace even the thought of Austin losing his mojo and getting frustrated entered my mind.<br />
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But Everton weren't good today. So what went wrong? For the most part we were hoofing the ball, making some sloppy mistakes at the back and midfield... and again we looked like we lacked pace everywhere (even though we had all our fast players on the pitch). I just couldn't break it down in my head. But my ever-intelligent father summed it up on that walk down South Africa Road. The difference in spite of the fact that Everton do not have the strike power that we have, is that they managed to break from midfield a hell of a lot better than we could. Or, to put it more depressingly, they managed to break at all, and when they did they had not only their forwards in the box, but two or three of their mid field. We were too predictable because we are just far to slow and not creative enough to move forward positively on the break. We stop, we look around and pass it to either of the two strikers who are the only ones in or near the box. And by then the opposition are well prepared defensively. So, it wasn't until Vargas and Taarabt came on that the ignition was turned on. And by then, of course, it was too late. It simply has to be like that from the start, and we need to be the first to score. Fat chance of that happening in future matches.<br />
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My mood is relatively unforgiving today.<br />
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I said to Dad 'I really don't think I can cope with watching the remaining matches this season, I'd rather know now for sure that we're relegated'. Roll on Fish Bits of Doncaster (if they get promoted from League One this season), and the great delights of Wigan pies (if they don't get relegated). But Dad said 'You cannot say that, it's like a wound. It's painful and it hurts because it's healing, you've got to take it because it's part of the process'.<br />
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Well, tonight I feel like passing on the process to be honest. But he is probably right. Even though I can't see any healing going on, he did say 2 minutes before Zamora scored on May 24, 2014, that he thought we would nick it. And Dad is (almost) always right.<br />
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Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-73207335817869721122015-03-08T11:08:00.001+00:002015-03-08T11:08:28.731+00:00Losing Hoop<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sunderland 0 Queens Park Rangers 2<br />
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Hull City 2 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
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Queens Park Rangers 1 Arsenal 2<br />
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Queens Park Rangers 1 Tottenham Hotspur 2<br />
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I admit, I've been terribly neglectful of this blog in recent weeks. And I feel bad about it because amidst it all we did have our first win away, and I felt as if the hostage situation I thought we had put ourselves in had somehow been lifted. Going away to Hull soon after I was realistic and didn't necessarily expect back to back wins. But then losing to Arsenal after outplaying them for so long, and then losing to Spurs to the same scoreline and suffering the slings and arrows of another poor ref...I'm feel like I'm now losing my general sense of positivity.<br />
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At the last two home games I couldn't help but hope for some of the magic that we experienced 3 years ago when we began that amazing home form beating all the big teams - Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool...But alas, it really doesn't look like it's to be...and like many others I am losing hope of survival. But is it groundhog day? i.e.. is it as bad as the last time we were relegated or are we in a different place.<br />
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I'll be honest, I don't have the energy to analyse this in any great detail and I'm not sure how much value that would truly bring. But I do know that, despite a few dissenting voices about the club and its management, we're in a place where our owners are genuine, if naive and are richer than anyone else we've had before which frankly counts for a lot nowadays. That is the reality of where we are.<br />
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And weirdly, although I am down about it all this weekend, I don't feel as depressed as I did two seasons ago. What was so hard then was the attitude that permeated the players. I can't imagine us ever playing with so little passion and pride ever again and I am glad we haven't seen that for a long time. Obviously, we've seen Barton lash out again. That disappointed all of us, and made all Barton-haters feel vindicated. I am not defending him for his actions but I have some empathy. In the little sport that I did play (Hockey, C team, lost every game but one which I think was a draw), I was always extremely passionate and did experience the occasional bit of red mist myself. And in life, there is nothing I hate more than cheats and people who are unfair to those who are less experienced - that's when my temper does come out. So if Barton is telling the truth (and why would he lie about why?), I get it. I do...but it truly does SUCK for us that this is the case and is far too much of a liability for us to carry.<br />
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Where to now? One thing I do like, and I think many others do to, is that we've started to see some of our youngsters come through under Ramsay. They've done really really well and I certainly feel proud about that. What I am confused about though is that less than a year ago we were hearing that these guys weren't ready- and it wasn't just Harry saying that but Birch, Gallen etc...so what changed? Or would it be fair to say that within that year they did make some real progress. Possible, given their age.<br />
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After the match as I waited for my Dad to give me a lift home (thank you Dad!), I was pretty sure I was stood next to Greece Grego-Cox's friend and family. They were all standing outside calling everyone on their phones beaming and telling them about how they couldn't believe when they saw Reece take his bib off in readiness to get on the pitch to replace Sandro. They were so happy and excited, and I remembered why I love QPR so much. If I were a Chelscum fan, or an Arsewipe fan, would I be standing outside the ground hearing the same thing from the same people? I saw from Andy Watkins' tweet yesterday that Reece is a local boy too. That makes it even sweeter.<br />
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They were all wearing half n' half scarves and I thought 'Oh no, how awful'. But when I got home and thought about it, I realised just how cool it really was. Of course they would get a half n' half scarf to celebrate the first game that their brother, son or boyfriend had played for QPR in the Premier League. Crikey, I might have bought twenty if I were Reece's mum.<br />
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Maybe I'm not losing that much hope after all. And I'll always be a hoop.<br />
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Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-45867842329425747332015-02-07T18:56:00.002+00:002015-02-07T19:02:46.720+00:00Hostage Situation<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stoke City 3 Queens Park Rangers 1</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Queens Park Rangers 0 Southampton 1</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's coming up to the tenth anniversary of my mother's death. The exact date will be two days before the trip up north to Hull. Time has flown since then it feels like it was only yesterday when I decided to pack my bags and move my life to the Philippines to take care of her while she was ill. And I remember so well the strange feeling of freedom to be able to make my own decisions at that point -early working life in London made me feel like a hamster in a cage and I was lucky enough to find the opportunity to work in Manila as well. It was a great chance to learn and to challenge myself. But little did I know when I came back to London in 2005 after she died, how much I'd let myself be a hostage in my grief for such a long time. It has only been in recent years that I have finally felt the ability to be able to move on and QPR has been a huge part of that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am reading a book called 'Hostage at the Table' by George Kohlrieser. It's a business/leadership book about overcoming conflict and influencing others to raise performance. At least, that's what the cover says. Kohlrieser, a psychologist by profession, used to help the police in hostage situations. And in the book he uses real-life examples of hostage negotiations to illustrate points around managing general conflict issues in the work place. In a nutshell the theory is that we can make ourselves feel like hostages to our own situations, or sometimes others can take us hostage. There are a number of ways that can take us out of that feeling but ultimately, it is within our power to either survive (i.e. Stokholm syndrome), or take ourselves out of a situation with positive focus using mind's-eye. It's a fascinating read. As you read through the examples the lessons do seem so obvious. For me though, knowing the answers doesn't always make problems easy to overcome. And of course, I can't help but think about this in the context of our club and what is happening right now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What a few weeks it has been. We had a strange 2 week break, followed by an inevitable loss away...an event-less transfer deadline day and then the resignation of Harry which, with hindsight, seemed bound to happen. Before that point, it seemed as if the primary thing that was keeping QPR hostage was this awful inability to win away. We were all so annoyed with Harry when he used the 'knee' as an excuse but I have a feeling that we would have found fault in anything that he would have announced. Redknapp, in the end, had to take himself out of the hostage situation he had built himself in everything that he was or wasn't doing to manage the team appropriately, leaving the rest of us still hoping the team wouldn't continue its current poor form. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like many I was excited about today. I enjoyed Chris Ramsay's press conference yesterday. It was refreshing to see someone a bit bubbly and humorous. I was hoping that a cloud would have been lifted especially when I saw the team sheet - one with real pace and some creativity. Although, there was one thing sorely lacking and that was another striker to partner Austin who once again looked rudderless and alone and who once again had to sit back and defend along with the 5 other defenders already on the pitch!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I enjoyed a lot of the game and I honestly believed that perhaps we would be the ones to nick that goal in the dying minutes. I have this superstition that if one of the ST holders that sits near me leaves before the end of the match, we have a good chance of scoring a goal. This happened today so I was really hopeful right until the end. I really wanted it for the team, more than for me- if that makes sense. Because now that I'm reading this book, I'm petrified that they have put themselves under this cloud of the fear of losing even at home because of what has been happening away. I suspect it's a little bit like that feeling that you get sometimes when it comes to relationships - where you have this huge fear of failing or losing that person that you simply aren't able to move on and enjoy it for what it already is. I can't imagine how awful it must feel to be trapped in that way, or to not be scoring goals (it's now been quite a few games since Charlie scored...). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I suppose the truth is that there are no magical answers or solutions. Some say the problem we have is indicative of deeper problems off the pitch in the club and it's operations. But do we honestly believe that a change of owners will make things better just like that? Are we not also guilty of placing blame on one easy target simply because we are unable to articulate clearly what we would do if we were actually in charge? It's true, there are issues in so many levels, and Neville's article on this published a few weeks ago points to some of these. Trevor Sinclair also talked about something being 'fundamentally' wrong with QPR but even he was excited about the match today as we saw from his tweets today. A few weeks back he said: '<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.875px;">When I was at QPR it was a family club with a fantastic tradition of developing lower league players and I'm not seeing that anymore.'. He's right, we have now lost that tradition of developing lower league players...But I'd challenge him on QPR no longer being a family club. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.875px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.875px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We do have our problems even within our own fan base, as I mentioned on the QPR Podcast earlier in January it sometimes feels like we're a little disjointed and for such a small club we do have so many supporters groups. But despite the different opinions and some of the petty warring that we see, we're still at the heart, fans who aren't in it for the glory hunting or just for the wins. We're in it for the passion, for the friends and the family that we have made around us. You could argue that we've all made ourselves hostage to a club where we give so much and yet where it sometimes seems we get so little in return. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.875px;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.875px;">Tonight I'm 'unrecording' Match Choice, and I doubt I'll be watching Match of the Day. But I'm still thankful that QPR has been an anchor in my life when sometimes everything else has felt tough. But, as my neighbour Terry sitting next to me said today 'Even if all other 91 clubs decided to make entry to their games free I would still pay to come and watch QPR'. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.875px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.875px;">Kohlrieser talks about something called a 'secure base'. Something we can hold on to in times of trouble and conflict. For all the problems I think we've got one, and it's time that our players believed that too. </span></span><br />
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Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-47033563049935419682015-01-18T17:40:00.001+00:002015-02-09T15:26:58.990+00:00Tourists<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Queens Park Rangers 0 Manchester Utd 2<br />
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Most of us are fuming after yesterday. No, we didn't play badly. In fact we put up a gutsy performance. A couple of strange tactical decisions - Niko & Taraabt on, and no sign of Zarate. But the ultimate result, which really wasn't a surprise, only gave us more fuel to add to the fire.<br />
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But life is full of ironies. So many of us dislike Harry and want him out, and yet he's the one who managed us through promotion last season- albeit under fortuitous circumstances. Many of us absolutely hated Zamora, and yet he will likely remain a QPR legend for his goal at Wembley. We also laugh at Harry Redknapp's comments about a 'mole' and yet we spend countless hours surmising on what's going on at the club with our own conspiracy theories.<br />
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Yesterday I was hoping we would win, of course. But at the very least I was also hoping that we might make Loftus Road a scary place to be with lots of songs and chants. We all saw the ticket prices going up on Viagogo for up to £1,000. I stood in a lift at work with a 'southern red' whose friend had traded in his Cirque du Soleil tickets for two seats at the home end. Alas, the atmosphere that I've witnessed before when we play Chelsea was nowhere to be seen mostly because of these things. Poor old Dave who was selling a special edition of A Kick up the Rs struggled to hold his patch as people sold half n' half scarves, more expensive tickets and 'Match Attack' cards. It was all so carnival-like - and not in a nice way. I did feel pretty angry, as did others. It felt as if our very own Loftus Road- the only place QPR fans can truly feel some ownership of something- was taken away from us for a few hours. I got annoyed with the ten or so fans who spent 20 minutes before the match in the front row of C block with their iphones out taking videos of Rooney and Falcao. I felt a little irritated listening to the Japanese fans who were sat behind me in the first half. And even this 'banter' video from Cheeky Sport barely spoke to any QPR fans about the match <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYo28jXd0iI&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">Cheeky Sport at QPR</a>. So many had walked out after the second goal and were well on their way home.<br />
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But today I feel guilty. Selfie sticks are responsible for making me feel that way.<br />
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I saw my first selfie stick when I had a weekend away in Berlin last April. My cousins from the Philippines brought them along and we had so much fun playing with it. Before long I had received one with a bluetooth remote control and I brought it to Loftus Road for our first game of the season taking pics on South Africa Road, in the Springbok, at the bar inside and at my seat! Little did I know that months later it would become such a 'controversial' item. Spurs and Manchester Utd have officially banned selfie sticks from the ground and at least once I day I see a fellow QPR fan moaning on twitter about seeing selfie-sticks. The other day someone said something about not seeing them last season when we played Barnsley. I'm just sorry I couldn't reply and say it would have been me if he did...For while United claim that the ban is for safety reasons (a stick = pole or another such dangerous item that us hooligans will use), for many the selfie stick has just become another symbol representing that scary thought of 'foreigners' and 'tourists' taking over our country and taking over football. It has allowed people to be racist without even saying the word.<br />
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It is ironic, given that the British are the <a href="http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/why-british-people-make-lousy-tourists" target="_blank">Lousiest Tourists in the World</a> according to a Vice article written in 2013. When we go abroad we tend to be culturally ignorant, snobby and disrespectful. And according to a study by the British Foreign Office, over 6,000 tourists found themselves behind bars on holiday, and over 3,000 in casualty. When you look at it that way, it's far more embarrassing than a selfie stick, half n' half scarf, or a few innocent iphone videos, isn't it?<br />
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I'm not saying it's fun when Loftus Road is that way. But it's hardly going to kill us.You can shout at the club about the viagogo relationship, or the touts outside, or the tourists that buy the seats. But it's only us who are selling our seats. And boy can we moan about it and blame everything and anything except ourselves.<br />
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As for yesterday's match. we worked hard but I still maintain two things: we're not good enough at the back (LB in particular) and everyone else (bar Charlie) is still not playing to maximum ability. Trevor Sinclair, retired and 42 years old, pointed out on twitter that he could run around way more than anyone else at QPR that he saw on the pitch yesterday. Harry's excuses and attitude are both hugely irritating but other than some strange tactical moves throughout the game I'm struggling to find other faults or anything that I would have done differently.<br />
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But what do I know? I'm only a girl who writes a blog who isn't really from West London, who travels loads and loves QPR.<br />
<br /></div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-54719455609749537072015-01-13T15:09:00.002+00:002015-01-13T15:09:40.271+00:00Media Blackout...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Queens Park Rangers 1 Swansea City 1<br />
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Queens Park Rangers 0 Sheffield Utd 3 (FA Cup 3rd round)<br />
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Burnley 2 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
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After the poor result at Burnley I virtually lost the will to live and gave myself a 36 hour media blackout. However, I was pleasantly surprised to be invited to the QPR Podcast this week where you can hear most about what I think about QPR shenanigans.<br />
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You can download on itunes, or click on the following link: <a href="https://soundcloud.com/playbackmedia/the-toronto-connection?in=playbackmedia/sets/open-all-rs-the-qpr-podcast-3" target="_blank">Toronto Connection</a> and listen to us talk to Daniel Dichio and generally moan.<br />
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All the best,<br />
Emily</div>
Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5255129191285776138.post-58537297253550177612014-12-30T14:14:00.001+00:002014-12-30T14:15:11.295+00:00Emily's Top Moments of 2014<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Everton 3 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
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Queens Park Rangers 3 WBA 2<br />
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Arsenal 2 Queens Park Rangers 1<br />
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Queens Park Rangers 0 Crystal Palace 0<br />
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This year has been a strange year for QPR supporters. Most of us have felt that for the most part we haven't performed at our best, and yet we made it in to the Premiership in May, and sit 15th in the table as we close the year off. When you look at it that way, everything, it would seem, is going to plan- even though some would argue otherwise. For who cares if one is achieving if one doesn't aim for the very highest?<br />
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But rather than agonise over the whys and wherefores, here's a list of my top moments of 2014 to bring some joy during this festive time.<br />
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<a href="http://qprgirl.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/five-things-from-santa.html" target="_blank">#5 Barnsley vs QPR and my search for Niko</a><br />
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At this stage we were already assured of a playoff place, so Barnsley away was an odd game to go to with nothing to play for against an already relegated team. I chose this as one of my top 5 moments because it was a wonderful day out with friends- Steve, Ben and co.. Whilst I believe that Doncaster does house one of the best fish n' chips places I've been to, Barnsley's local chippy - a ten minute walk away from the ground also serves some of the most superb fish n' chips I've ever had. I will also remember this game for my mischievous search for Niko. My friend Gary had given me a copy of the book 'Footballers Haircuts' which I was holding on to for most of the season. He gave it to me because he had noticed that Niko Kranjcar had his own copy and I was desperate to have it signed by him. I had waited for Niko before and after matches at home and away several times to have it signed, but had failed on every occasion, by either being too early or too late, or waiting at the wrong exit. At Barnsley, I tried to find the players' entrance/exit after the game and walked around the whole ground. I ended up inadvertently in front of the security barrier and right behind the team bus. I felt like a right mug and ran as quick as I could to safety to avoid being busted as a freaky stalker. It did make me think though that we're pretty good at Loftus Road at allowing fans access to players without much fuss. At Barnsley of all places- it was impossible to get anywhere close to the players unless you did what I did...<br />
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Despite my lack of success (I eventually got my signed book this season!), I did get a wonderful gift from Mr/Captain Shouty of Niko's actual shirt that he wore on the day. Sadly, it had already been washed once I received it but a few mud stains remain and I have worn it to bed a couple of times. Thank you Mr Shouty! (not a stalker promise!).<br />
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#4 Charlie Austin's first QPR hat-trick (vs WBA)<br />
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It was only a matter of time before Charlie would score a hat-trick, and what a time to do it coming up to the half way point of the season in the Premier League. He is really on fire and continues to be one of my favourite players - apart from the obvious goal-scoring record he has a great attitude and is a team player. It's just great to see his name up there, miles away from any other English player in the PL. I truly hope this is only the beginning of our love affair with this great striker.<br />
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<a href="http://qprgirl.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/the-best-days.html" target="_blank">#3 QPR vs Nottingham Forest: 5-2 win</a><br />
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We still haven't broken our record for playing away at Forest (unbelievable that we've never won there), but this goals-galore of a game was great fun and a rare occasion for QPR fans having lived through several single-goal games in during the 2013-2014 season. This was also one of my favourite games because old friends had joined me that day who I had not seen for many years. In addition, we presented a very large cheque to the Tiger Cubs for the Tiger Feet Walk to Charlton.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBpdARxY5aKoPjQaoKUSlYbfiVSIxkpjEqa2nbB8VNId_7-M5CV0rIooZunFYb065cwsxBF6Batv2ydofWSlqmOhwtHbRERAYlNQHB0NNbCcJuUL1wbcO8XQnBalcZoRRzGyTpfHEdZlg/s1600/tiger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBpdARxY5aKoPjQaoKUSlYbfiVSIxkpjEqa2nbB8VNId_7-M5CV0rIooZunFYb065cwsxBF6Batv2ydofWSlqmOhwtHbRERAYlNQHB0NNbCcJuUL1wbcO8XQnBalcZoRRzGyTpfHEdZlg/s1600/tiger.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Presenting the Tiger Cubs cheque before the match</td></tr>
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<a href="http://qprgirl.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/movies.html" target="_blank">#2 QPR vs Wigan Playoff semi-final second leg</a></div>
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After a goalless draw away I don't think any of us doubted this game was going to be action-packed. The club had done well to generate lots of excitement and it was a great idea to have us all holding up blue and white sheets as the team entered the pitch. It was everything a playoff semi-final should be - it had teeming rain, goals, extra time and plenty of spirit (thank you Steve Black). We also reached a point where many could achieve their long-awaited dream of running on to the pitch with very little risk of arrest whilst those in the upper tiers tutted away...</div>
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<a href="http://qprgirl.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/movies.html" target="_blank">#1 Derby vs QPR Playoff final at Wembley</a><br />
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It is no surprise that this is my favourite moment of 2014. The Bobster will be forever remembered on fans' hearts and I will never forget how my step mum went to the loo in the dying minutes to miss the goal, and how my Dad was convinced we'd score a last-minute winner. I'll never forget how my local in Willesden Green became a QPR pub for a day, and how the song 'Happy' kept skipping as we celebrated our amazing win at Wembley. I'll never forget how expensive the beer was, and how long it took to get to the tube station after the match. Many people, including QPR fans believe it was an undeserved win but I will always beg to differ. Goals win games and we scored the only one. I'll take that win proudly in exchange for all the other terrible stuff we've had to go through in the past.<br />
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As we look forward to a tough home fixture against Swansea on New Year's Day, here's a big thank you to friends for making this a fun year. And a no-thanks to the anti selfie-stick xenophobic boo-boys and the Harry/Fernandes out conspiracy theorists. Let's all step back a little and look at the bigger picture and remember the good times QPR has given us.<br />
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On that note, I'd like to offer quiet prayer for Air Asia and the passengers of QZ8501. If we truly are a QPR family, now is the time to show it.<br />
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Emilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591714046078561201noreply@blogger.com0