Hostage Situation

Stoke City 3 Queens Park Rangers 1

Queens Park Rangers 0 Southampton 1

It's coming up to the tenth anniversary of my mother's death. The exact date will be two days before the trip up north to Hull. Time has flown since then it feels like it was only yesterday when I decided to pack my bags and move my life to the Philippines to take care of her while she was ill. And I remember so well the strange feeling of freedom to be able to make my own decisions at that point -early working life in London made me feel like a hamster in a cage and I was lucky enough to find the opportunity to work in Manila as well. It was a great chance to learn and to challenge myself. But little did I know when I came back to London in 2005 after she died, how much I'd let myself be a hostage in my grief for such a long time. It has only been in recent years that I have finally felt the ability to be able to move on and QPR has been a huge part of that. 

I am reading a book called 'Hostage at the Table' by George Kohlrieser. It's a business/leadership book about overcoming conflict and influencing others to raise performance. At least, that's what the cover says. Kohlrieser, a psychologist by profession, used to help the police in hostage situations. And in the book he uses real-life examples of hostage negotiations to illustrate points around managing general conflict issues in the work place. In a nutshell the theory is that we can make ourselves feel like hostages to our own situations, or sometimes others can take us hostage. There are a number of ways that can take us out of that feeling but ultimately, it is within our power to either survive (i.e. Stokholm syndrome), or take ourselves out of a situation with positive focus using mind's-eye. It's a fascinating read. As you read through the examples the lessons do seem so obvious. For me though, knowing the answers doesn't always make problems easy to overcome. And of course, I can't help but think about this in the context of our club and what is happening right now. 

What a few weeks it has been. We had a strange 2 week break, followed by an inevitable loss away...an event-less transfer deadline day and then the resignation of Harry which, with hindsight, seemed bound to happen. Before that point, it seemed as if the primary thing that was keeping QPR hostage was this awful inability to win away. We were all so annoyed with Harry when he used the 'knee' as an excuse but I have a feeling that we would have found fault in anything that he would have announced. Redknapp, in the end, had to take himself out of the hostage situation he had built himself in everything that he was or wasn't doing to manage the team appropriately, leaving the rest of us still hoping the team wouldn't continue its current poor form. 

Like many I was excited about today. I enjoyed Chris Ramsay's press conference yesterday. It was refreshing to see someone a bit bubbly and humorous. I was hoping that a cloud would have been lifted especially when I saw the team sheet - one with real pace and some creativity. Although, there was one thing sorely lacking and that was another striker to partner Austin who once again looked rudderless and alone and who once again had to sit back and defend along with the 5 other defenders already on the pitch!

I enjoyed a lot of the game and I honestly believed that perhaps we would be the ones to nick that goal in the dying minutes. I have this superstition that if one of the ST holders that sits near me leaves before the end of the match, we have a good chance of scoring a goal. This happened today so I was really hopeful right until the end. I really wanted it for the team, more than for me- if that makes sense. Because now that I'm reading this book, I'm petrified that they have put themselves under this cloud of the fear of losing even at home because of what has been happening away. I suspect it's a little bit like that feeling that you get sometimes when it comes to relationships - where you have this huge fear of failing or losing that person that you simply aren't able to move on and enjoy it for what it already is. I can't imagine how awful it must feel to be trapped in that way, or to not be scoring goals (it's now been quite a few games since Charlie scored...). 

I suppose the truth is that there are no magical answers or solutions. Some say the problem we have is indicative of deeper problems off the pitch in the club and it's operations. But do we honestly believe that a change of owners will make things better just like that? Are we not also guilty of placing blame on one easy target simply because we are unable to articulate clearly what we would do if we were actually in charge? It's true, there are issues in so many levels, and Neville's article on this published a few weeks ago points to some of these. Trevor Sinclair also talked about something being 'fundamentally' wrong with QPR but even he was excited about the match today as we saw from his tweets today. A few weeks back he said: 'When I was at QPR it was a family club with a fantastic tradition of developing lower league players and I'm not seeing that anymore.'. He's right, we have now lost that tradition of developing lower league players...But I'd challenge him on QPR no longer being a family club. 

We do have our problems even within our own fan base, as I mentioned on the QPR Podcast earlier in January it sometimes feels like we're a little disjointed and for such a small club we do have so many supporters groups. But despite the different opinions and some of the petty warring that we see, we're still at the heart, fans who aren't in it for the glory hunting or just for the wins. We're in it for the passion, for the friends and the family that we have made around us. You could argue that we've all made ourselves hostage to a club where we give so much and yet where it sometimes seems we get so little in return. 

Tonight I'm 'unrecording' Match Choice, and I doubt I'll be watching Match of the Day. But I'm still thankful that QPR has been an anchor in my life when sometimes everything else has felt tough. But, as my neighbour Terry sitting next to me said today 'Even if all other 91 clubs decided to make entry to their games free I would still pay to come and watch QPR'. 

Kohlrieser talks about something called a 'secure base'. Something we can hold on to in times of trouble and conflict. For all the problems I think we've got one, and it's time that our players believed that too. 

Tourists

Queens Park Rangers 0 Manchester Utd 2

Most of us are fuming after yesterday. No, we didn't play badly. In fact we put up a gutsy performance. A couple of strange tactical decisions - Niko & Taraabt on, and no sign of Zarate. But the ultimate result, which really wasn't a surprise, only gave us more fuel to add to the fire.

But life is full of ironies. So many of us dislike Harry and want him out, and yet he's the one who managed us through promotion last season- albeit under fortuitous circumstances. Many of us absolutely hated Zamora, and yet he will likely remain a QPR legend for his goal at Wembley. We also laugh at Harry Redknapp's comments about a 'mole' and yet we spend countless hours surmising on what's going on at the club with our own conspiracy theories.

Yesterday I was hoping we would win, of course. But at the very least I was also hoping that we might make Loftus Road a scary place to be with lots of songs and chants. We all saw the ticket prices going up on Viagogo for up to £1,000. I stood in a lift at work with a 'southern red' whose friend had traded in his Cirque du Soleil tickets for two seats at the home end. Alas, the atmosphere that I've witnessed before when we play Chelsea was nowhere to be seen mostly because of these things. Poor old Dave who was selling a special edition of A Kick up the Rs struggled to hold his patch as people sold half n' half scarves, more expensive tickets and 'Match Attack' cards. It was all so carnival-like - and not in a nice way. I did feel pretty angry, as did others. It felt as if our very own Loftus Road- the only place QPR fans can truly feel some ownership of something- was taken away from us for a few hours. I got annoyed with the ten or so fans who spent 20 minutes before the match in the front row of C block with their iphones out taking videos of Rooney and Falcao. I felt a little irritated listening to the Japanese fans who were sat behind me in the first half. And even this 'banter' video from Cheeky Sport barely spoke to any QPR fans about the match Cheeky Sport at QPR. So many had walked out after the second goal and were well on their way home.

But today I feel guilty. Selfie sticks are responsible for making me feel that way.

I saw my first selfie stick when I had a weekend away in Berlin last April. My cousins from the Philippines brought them along and we had so much fun playing with it. Before long I had received one with a bluetooth remote control and I brought it to Loftus Road for our first game of the season taking pics on South Africa Road, in the Springbok, at the bar inside and at my seat! Little did I know that months later it would become such a 'controversial' item. Spurs and Manchester Utd have officially banned selfie sticks from the ground and at least once I day I see a fellow QPR fan moaning on twitter about seeing selfie-sticks. The other day someone said something about not seeing them last season when we played Barnsley. I'm just sorry I couldn't reply and say it would have been me if he did...For while United claim that the ban is for safety reasons (a stick = pole or another such dangerous item that us hooligans will use), for many the selfie stick has just become another symbol representing that scary thought of 'foreigners' and 'tourists' taking over our country and taking over football. It has allowed people to be racist without even saying the word.

It is ironic, given that the British are the Lousiest Tourists in the World according to a Vice article written in 2013. When we go abroad we tend to be culturally ignorant, snobby and disrespectful. And according to a study by the British Foreign Office, over 6,000 tourists found themselves behind bars on holiday, and over 3,000 in casualty. When you look at it that way, it's far more embarrassing than a selfie stick, half n' half scarf, or a few innocent iphone videos, isn't it?

I'm not saying it's fun when Loftus Road is that way. But it's hardly going to kill us.You can shout at the club about the viagogo relationship, or the touts outside, or the tourists that buy the seats. But it's only us who are selling our seats. And boy can we moan about it and blame everything and anything except ourselves.

As for yesterday's match. we worked hard but I still maintain two things: we're not good enough at the back (LB in particular) and everyone else (bar Charlie) is still not playing to maximum ability. Trevor Sinclair, retired and 42 years old, pointed out on twitter that he could run around way more than anyone else at QPR that he saw on the pitch yesterday. Harry's excuses and attitude are both hugely irritating but other than some strange tactical moves throughout the game I'm struggling to find other faults or anything that I would have done differently.

But what do I know? I'm only a girl who writes a blog who isn't really from West London, who travels loads and loves QPR.

Media Blackout...

Queens Park Rangers 1 Swansea City 1

Queens Park Rangers 0 Sheffield Utd 3 (FA Cup 3rd round)

Burnley 2 Queens Park Rangers 1

After the poor result at Burnley I virtually lost the will to live and gave myself a 36 hour media blackout. However, I was pleasantly surprised to be invited to the QPR Podcast this week where you can hear most about what I think about QPR shenanigans.

You can download on itunes, or click on the following link: Toronto Connection and listen to us talk to Daniel Dichio and generally moan.

All the best,
Emily

Emily's Top Moments of 2014

Everton 3 Queens Park Rangers 1

Queens Park Rangers 3 WBA 2

Arsenal 2 Queens Park Rangers 1

Queens Park Rangers 0 Crystal Palace 0

This year has been a strange year for QPR supporters. Most of us have felt that for the most part we haven't performed at our best, and yet we made it in to the Premiership in May, and sit 15th in the table as we close the year off. When you look at it that way, everything, it would seem, is going to plan- even though some would argue otherwise. For who cares if one is achieving if one doesn't aim for the very highest?

But rather than agonise over the whys and wherefores, here's a list of my top moments of 2014 to bring some joy during this festive time.

#5 Barnsley vs QPR and my search for Niko

At this stage we were already assured of a playoff place, so Barnsley away was an odd game to go to with nothing to play for against an already relegated team. I chose this as one of my top 5 moments because it was a wonderful day out with friends- Steve, Ben and co.. Whilst I believe that Doncaster does house one of the best fish n' chips places I've been to, Barnsley's local chippy - a ten minute walk away from the ground also serves some of the most superb fish n' chips I've ever had. I will also remember this game for my mischievous search for Niko. My friend Gary had given me a copy of the book 'Footballers Haircuts' which I was holding on to for most of the season. He gave it to me because he had noticed that Niko Kranjcar had his own copy and I was desperate to have it signed by him. I had waited for Niko before and after matches at home and away several times to have it signed, but had failed on every occasion, by either being too early or too late, or waiting at the wrong exit. At Barnsley, I tried to find the players' entrance/exit after the game and walked around the whole ground. I ended up inadvertently in front of the security barrier and right behind the team bus. I felt like a right mug and ran as quick as I could to safety to avoid being busted as a freaky stalker. It did make me think though that we're pretty good at Loftus Road at allowing fans access to players without much fuss. At Barnsley of all places- it was impossible to get anywhere close to the players unless you did what I did...

Despite my lack of success (I eventually got my signed book this season!), I did get a wonderful gift from Mr/Captain Shouty of Niko's actual shirt that he wore on the day. Sadly, it had already been washed once I received it but a few mud stains remain and I have worn it to bed a couple of times. Thank you Mr Shouty! (not a stalker promise!).


#4 Charlie Austin's first QPR hat-trick (vs WBA)

It was only a matter of time before Charlie would score a hat-trick, and what a time to do it coming up to the half way point of the season in the Premier League. He is really on fire and continues to be one of my favourite players - apart from the obvious goal-scoring record he has a great attitude and is a team player. It's just great to see his name up there, miles away from any other English player in the PL. I truly hope this is only the beginning of our love affair with this great striker.

#3 QPR vs Nottingham Forest: 5-2 win

We still haven't broken our record for playing away at Forest (unbelievable that we've never won there), but this goals-galore of a game was great fun and a rare occasion for QPR fans having lived through several single-goal games in during the 2013-2014 season. This was also one of my favourite games because old friends had joined me that day who I had not seen for many years. In addition, we presented a very large cheque to the Tiger Cubs for the Tiger Feet Walk to Charlton.

Presenting the Tiger Cubs cheque before the match

#2 QPR vs Wigan Playoff semi-final second leg

After a goalless draw away I don't think any of us doubted this game was going to be action-packed. The club had done well to generate lots of excitement and it was a great idea to have us all holding up blue and white sheets as the team entered the pitch. It was everything a playoff semi-final should be - it had teeming rain, goals, extra time and plenty of spirit (thank you Steve Black). We also reached a point where many could achieve their long-awaited dream of running on to the pitch with very little risk of arrest whilst those in the upper tiers tutted away...

#1 Derby vs QPR Playoff final at Wembley

It is no surprise that this is my favourite moment of 2014. The Bobster will be forever remembered on fans' hearts and I will never forget how my step mum went to the loo in the dying minutes to miss the goal, and how my Dad was convinced we'd score a last-minute winner. I'll never forget how my local in Willesden Green became a QPR pub for a day, and how the song 'Happy' kept skipping as we celebrated our amazing win at Wembley. I'll never forget how expensive the beer was, and how long it took to get to the tube station after the match. Many people, including QPR fans believe it was an undeserved win but I will always beg to differ. Goals win games and we scored the only one. I'll take that win proudly in exchange for all the other terrible stuff we've had to go through in the past.

As we look forward to a tough home fixture against Swansea on New Year's Day, here's a big thank you to friends for making this a fun year. And a no-thanks to the anti selfie-stick xenophobic boo-boys and the Harry/Fernandes out conspiracy theorists. Let's all step back a little and look at the bigger picture and remember the good times QPR has given us.

On that note, I'd like to offer quiet prayer for Air Asia and the passengers of QZ8501. If we truly are a QPR family, now is the time to show it.

Five Things

Swansea 2 Queens Park Rangers 0

Queens Park Rangers 2 Burnley 0

It's getting to that time of year where I can no longer feel my fingers when I'm walking outside and where I wear my extremely 'sexy' thick socks in bed. Home comforts become ever more appealing as deep winter sets in. It's also one of my favourite times of the year for football, as it is for so many - there is more time to spend with friends and family, with so much action to absorb.

The last few weeks have been an interesting study in human psychology. We've continued a pretty decent run of form at home, with disastrous away results which naturally means we become slightly schizophrenic. It's a meltdown one day and elation the next, with several who just continue to moan as is their habit regardless of the result, and somewhere in the background a few conspiracy theorists who believe dark forces have always been behind the club condemning us to eternal damnation. Wouldn't it be boring though if we didn't have such a melee of opinions?

I'd like to think I sit on the more positive side of opinion, and perhaps that's simply because I just don't need football to make me depressed - surely we've all got enough on our plates to want to make things even more complicated? I do realise it isn't always easy, since we are all so passionate about football and about our club. I also appreciate that the Christmas season isn't always the most happy of seasons for many (ironically), and so I've compiled what I hope is a helpful list of five things to do to cheer you up or keep yourself busy, whether QPR win or lose each of the five games we've got between now and New Year's Day.

1. Wear a Christmas jumper

A simple but effective strategy for bringing Christmas joy and laughter to yourself and others by making yourself look as silly as possible. The QPR club shop has a QPR version of this which I think is fantastic value for money as it kills two birds with one stone. I have been reliably informed by retail specialist @gemcricketmad that the Christmas stock this year is the same as 2013, so some may be disappointed with the lack of imagination. But I'll still be wearing mine to Arsenal away on Boxing Day.  And don't forget, the 12th December is also Christmas Jumper Day for Save the Children- so get wearing and get donating for a worthy cause.

QPR's Christmas Jumper, on sale at the club shop

2. Lie back and think of Charlie

Okay, I don't really mean it in 'that' way, but what I do mean is that while we've had some disappointing results, we MUST revel in the joy that is our very own very real striker. Something that we have not had for a very very long time. Can I say very again? Probably, as Charlie is not only a very great player, but he is also a very very nice person. A little shy, but we like our players to be more humble than obtuse. And so far every time I or any one else I know have met him, he has been very simply very friendly.

3. Start a petition against EA Games

I'm not a gamer. I think the last computer game I got addicted to was Tetris on the Sega Megadrive during my GCSEs. However, it is my understanding that FIFA is a huge game, and therefore must have pretty high production standards. I saw the QPR video with EA Games when they came in to scan Ned, Rob and SWP...I thought the likeness achieved was amazing! I heard that Niko was not there when the scans were done, but I am nonetheless stunned by the alternative option and artist impression (see below my tweet to EA Games). Who is the man on the left and why is he wearing a QPR shirt? I am at best offended, and at worst, horrified. I have a feeling this picture of Teen Wolf 2 was drawn by an envious male but cannot be sure. Anyone else interested in launching something on change.org?

4. Enjoy others have a meltdown

Ever since Manchester Utd stopped being 'top dog', the league has actually become rather interesting. It would be fair to say that it's still the same 6/7 clubs that hover at the top, with the rest struggling at the bottom. But, within the 6/7 there's lots of movement and no one is quite sure what will happen. So let's revel in the uncertainty of others. I mean, we think we have a meltdown when we lose but check out Arsenal fan Claude's meltdown after losing away to Stoke. Evil I know, but so so so funny.

5. Watch QPR Tunnel Cam

As discussed yesterday at the White Horse I do wonder whether the audience for the exquisitely put together Tunnel Cam is predominantly women. After all, during warmer months it is an opportunity to see a few tops whipped off, and for some close-ups of Niko and Charlie. To be fair though- there may be plenty of men with man-crushes...and to be really really fair, I do think Tunnel Cam brings you just about the right amount of behind-the-scenes access to bring you the magic of football without being too obtrusive and still leaving an air of mystery. Now at ten minutes long, you get to see the team sheet exchange, the players give each other instructions (like Niko saying to Barton 'don't go beyond me like you would if I was playing on the left'), fancy food being carried in to the dressing room post-match and Steve Black greeting all the players. And the good news is, it's only done when we have a good draw or a win, so there's never really anything to be to upset about.

So I hope you find some of these activities enjoyable, and wish you all a lovely week as we celebrate another great home win.

You RRRssss

Breaks

Newcastle Utd 1 Queens Park Rangers 0

Queens Park Rangers 3 Leicester City 2

I've had the pleasure of a stay-cation this past week. It's been a chance to recharge the batteries, sort out some life admin, catch up with friends and family - and enjoy a little football. Not enough credit is given to simply taking time off as most of us in the Western world are so used to jumping on that plane for a holiday in the sun. Many of us are spoilt and forget how lucky we are. Nevertheless, if you can honestly switch that blackberry off and pretend to yourself at least for a few days that you've got no reception, staying at home is a low-risk holiday.

Mine started with an early morning and a 7.30 train ride from Kings Cross to Newcastle. Arriving at Kings Cross at 6.30am I panicked when I saw that M&S was still closed but was delighted when it opened at 7am for my obligatory pre-train ride beer and wine shop. It was a great train ride up with some of my favourite QPR pals, for whom waking up that early is worthwhile. As for the match, while a point would have been a preferred earning, it was always going to be a big ask to beat Newcastle in their current form. I had promised myself when I visited Newcastle nearly 3 years ago, that I would never go again as you are so far from the pitch and it's a long way to go for a 7 storey hike up stairs and a view of Bergen but the time with friends was an opportunity not to be missed. As for the performance, I continued to take heart from QPR's continued persistence and fighting spirit. I know I know I know, it's not just about the performance as we need the points. But I honestly believe that for what we need to do - which is ultimately, to survive, the wins will come. To use a cliché we must 'take the positives' in order to turn things around eventually with points on the board.

Perhaps it's because I've been influenced by this book I mentioned a few weeks ago called Good to Great - a book that sets out some key principles around how to make good companies great companies. In its final chapters there is this concept of a flywheel. It's about continuously pushing a big heavy wheel, inch by inch...then turn by turn...then eventually the wheel is able to move and push forward on its own momentum. So, with each turn the 'flywheel builds upon work done earlier, compounding your investment of effort'. I think of this when I think about how the football fans are extremely good at panicking and moaning about a marginal loss away from home. Call me an optimist but I was a little shocked by several people claiming that the Newcastle match was the worst football they've seen the team play in ages. Really?

I do think that sometimes it behoves us to just give the players a little bit of a break - to take a step back, take a deep breath and take everything in to account. And, in some ways, I feel vindicated by the result against Leicester City. The fans and the players all felt that the hard work, grit, determination paid off and won the game for us. With Sandro and Zamora both sadly out, it was good to see Kranjcar being given a chance to play, and add some creativity to a creativity-less mid-field (and didn't he look pretty with his new haircut and shave?). Having Barton back is also encouraging for the team spirit and Henry continues to perform unexpectedly well - perhaps a dark-horse contender for player of the season? Something tells me though that our striker hero Charlie will be the one to gets the plaudit. I think many thousands of QPR fans (men and women) would happily plant one big soggy kiss on those lovely lips of his.

On the one hand, I do agree that what separates the winners from the losers, the great from the good...is the desire and the will to win. So I can see (grudgingly) why that the result at Newcastle may have felt like wasted effort, or like it was due to a lack of desire. But on the other hand ambition comes in many forms, and it is the definition of that ambition that can sometimes be a little hazy. We have to remember that it is a long season and that there is a job to be done that spans far beyond one match, or even one season for that matter. I am hopeful about our flywheel, but it has probably only completed one turn so far.

Hard work

Queens Park Rangers 2 Manchester City 2

I'm not usually able to catch QPR's official weekly show 'London Call In', and to be honest I have never cared for it too much as it always feels a little too official and censored. The QPR Podcast with Finney et al has always been a lot more fun, and something I can relate to. But this week I watched the Rodney Marsh special and was struck by something that he said about QPR fans in particular. He called our fan base a 'cult' and said there will always be that hardcore 17,000 no matter what- rain or shine, league two or premier league. The reason why it struck me is because I've always wondered whether all football fans are the same and whether the only thing that separates us is the club that we support. I'd very much like to think that we were all different, after all- how can an Arsenal fan be anything like a QPR fan? Their version of disappointment must be extremely different from ours. I can't imagine their fans saying things like ' I wish the team really wanted to play for our shirt', or 'Wouldn't it be nice to be first on MOTD?'.

Currently we're pretty happy with our team's performance on the pitch. We've only gleaned 4 points from the last 4 games, but most of us don't care because it is such a pleasure for us to finally watch a  blossoming team - with team being the operative word. Like most I can't fault anyone's performance in the last few games, but for me at the heart of it is this player called Charlie Austin who would much rather see us win a game than see himself score a goal. It is obvious that he getting fitter (no pun intended), and more confident and I am even more excited about having him with us now than ever before. But, and I have said this before, what makes it all so great is the fact the epitomises what we British folk all love - a working class hero who has been through the hardship and come out the other side. Scratch that, people love someone who has worked hard regardless of who they are, for what they have. At least I'd like to think that is exactly how QPR fans are.

Harry hit the nail on the head in his post match interview with his son Jamie yesterday. He used all the other 'excuses' around the players that he had, the fitness levels and the injuries to explain the earlier poor performances. But admitted that at the end of the day it was the simple premise that if one doesn't put in a good shift on the pitch (i.e. vs. Manchester Utd and Tottenham), one simply isn't going to stand a chance of getting anything out of a match. Last week I talked about some simple things that needed to change and that the team appears to have discovered. Add to that one overriding simple point - if you ain't prepared to put in, you ain't going to get anything out. I often wonder whether this highly digital world we live in, this world of video games and Millennials sitting next to each other who are talking to each other on their phones via whatsapp versus face to face, the idea of effort is slowly disappearing. In the UK in particular, as the work place continues to change from one of industry to one of service and technology, are we surprised that many people (not just the young), are trying to find quicker ways to provide minimal effort for maximum effect? And is that the right thing to do, or the right way to go?

I'd like to think not. And on that note I've been hearing about a documentary being made about QPR called The Story of QPR. It's a project by the The Octavia Foundation and QPR in the Community Trust working with young people 16-24 to produce a range of multimedia telling the story of QPR. It's fantastic project and I've seen a 'teaser' here on youtube: Story of QPR Teaser. But I would say that wouldn't I? Although I don't think I am biased in saying that for a small club like ours with a cult like following, we do a hell of a lot of good stuff that really matters in this world.                  

When I see effort and projects like this, it's hard to believe that there is any truth in the theory that we're all going through a bit of a change in society and  in our cultural beliefs about work and what it means. I don't know what's going to happen but I would be horrified if we see a huge value shift and we stop respecting the Charlie Austins that come our way.

But, I am comforted by what I see in football and the little world of QPR that we know and love.