Resolutions

Reading 0 Queens Park Rangers 1
Queens Park Rangers 0 Burnley 0
Queens Park Rangers 2 Brighton Hove Albion 2
Bristol City 1 Queens Park Rangers 1
Ipswich Town 2 Queens Park Rangers 1
Queens Park Rangers 1 Huddersfield Town 1

2015 has been a tough year for me, and for many friends. It's also been a pretty shoddy year for QPR. We haven't even had a lucky win at Wembley to provide rose tinted spectacles...

I am hoping that 2016 will be bring us better luck and fortune. And for the first time in many years I may even set myself some new year resolutions. Perhaps QPR could learn a thing or two from my 4.

1. Have a bit more belief

There is nothing wrong with respecting others for their own ability and success. But not to the detriment of your own self-belief and confidence. I find as I progress in my own career much of my time is actually spent problem solving: problem solving the most strategic issues that a client has, through to the most mundane day to stay stuff. And although it can feel frustrating at times, actually, days go much more smoothly when I realise that it IS actually is my job and that's exactly what I am good at. And most of the time, when I don't pay too much respect for others getting stuff right I usually find that something was done wrong...and the problem is then easily solved.  That's not to poopoo others and their work but it's much more helpful to keep an open mind and make no assumptions. I've heard JFH say a few times that we must 'respect' other teams. Agree to an extent, but only to an extent. If you can't believe you can be better or that others can fail, your success will only be limited.

2. Don't stand still

It's easy to get stuck in a rut sometimes, or in a boring routine, feeling as if nothing changes or nothing new and exciting is happening. Well, that's okay if you want some peace and not too much action. But nothing changes if you stand still. At QPR we have had a lot of change, and it would certainly be nice to see some stability at the club in terms of the way it's being managed. But I am keen to see more change in how the team is playing, and what we are relying on. It's apparent to all that without Charlie we struggle to score goals. Something has to change in the team and the tactics to truly make us a great team. It can't simply be all about Charlie. Great teams do have great strikers, but they also have  a great 'everyone else' that they do without those strikers sometimes. The sun will always rise tomorrow, and Charlie may or may not play for us again. But what moves are we going to make to get us to being a good team, and not just Charlie's team? I feel today's match against Huddersfield is a great example of us standing still mentally and physically!!

3. Do more for others

2016 is going to be a massive year for me in terms of my involvement in more charity work. More details to follow...but it's been a dream of mine since I was 18 to spend real quality time doing something to help others less fortunate than myself. I think QPR as a club does some great things for the community. It makes me very proud to be a Rangers supporter, to see what everyone at QPR in the Community Trust does, and how fans pull together for their causes. I like how our fans pull together for our ex players too. I think on a 'footballing' level, I'd like to see a bit more work being done to really get some of our players playing up to their full potential. I am talking about the transformation we have seen in Hoilett- he's gone from toilet to a shiny new player. In the programme today he says 'Every professional footballer wants to play every week. But I've got good family and friends who helped me through what was a difficult period for me'. Well, that's okay, but what about the manager and coaches themselves bringing out some of that confidence and potential in the players? There is a worrying situation of decent players sitting on the bench: Luongo, JET and Chery...are we doing enough to bring them through as valuable alternatives. We seem to be continuing to play under-achievers (e.g. Fer, Polter and Phillips) until the manager is just completely fed up with them. How you manage people, other than simply telling them what to do, is critical to the success of the team.

4. Have some fun!

Yeah. Sometimes we can take things waaay to seriously. 2016 is going to be a bit more about fun and laughter. I will force myself to go out more often, and I won't work too hard. I have often met the people I call my best friends when I've been out and about. JFH strikes me as someone who is very earnestly serious. While it's important to be serious about the job in hand at QPR, we need to lighten up a little bit. Admittedly this is not helped by our owners aiming for a play off place. But why why why should we? Does it really help in the long term? Why can't we focus on what we have, and hope for the best? Often the best results happen when you aren't worrying too much and when you are enjoying yourself. There is also something to be said for hearing naughty stories about the lads having a good old piss up together. Nothing like bonding over a beer or ten.

At this point I'd like to thank everyone for continuing to read and support the blog. I do feel an obligation to write even when a handful of you respond!

Here is to a bright, and hopefully more adventurous 2016 for QPR. Oh, and for me too.

Little Earthquakes

Queens Park Rangers 2 Huddersfield 1

I am a huge Tori Amos fan. And so is the rest of my family. Although I must say my obsession with her calmed down somewhat after my teenage years and early twenties. We fell in love with her music when she released her first album Little Earthquakes. With a brother who was soon to come out, young parents in their late thirties, and myself an angsty-ish teenager interested in making music she was one of the artists that bonded us. A strange choice you might say- her songs were angst-ridden, sad and sometimes painful. But her music was all the better for all the crap that was going on in her life. Many years later in the early noughties she came to London for a concert at the Hammersmith Apollo. I jumped at the chance of buying tickets for all four of us as a Christmas present. We were sorely disappointed. She had no band. It was just Tori and the piano. And it was just Tori singing songs we didn't know, and Tori acting very normal and boring. She had just found her ‘partner-for life’ and had a little girl with him. I remember walking out of the venue thinking how disappointing it had all been, and my Dad said to me ‘She is so boring now that she is happy. It was much better when she was f***ed up’. I think there was some truth in that. She didn't release too many (in my opinion) interesting albums after that- at least for me nothing quite as powerful as the early releases.

Recently, there’s been a lot of talk about the flat atmosphere at Loftus Road. It’s a fact that this season it hasn't been that loud fortress we know it can be. Some people are blaming it on the style of play, others are blaming it on fans who expect too much from the team. I certainly do not have the answer but I can understand the psychology of it. I think back to the last two seasons, and in particular the first season back in the Prem (11/12). I’ll be honest, there was nothing more exciting than beating those big teams at home: Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool…Chelsea. We cracked them all and the excitement was so intense we made a huge amount of noise…and we had the bruises on our legs to prove it. Although last season was much more traumatic we didn't complain about the atmosphere quite so much because the excitement generated from the volatility of our situation overcame all other feelings. And it was a terrible masochistic pleasure.

However, I will never call last season anything other than traumatic. As you know, I do not ache for the Premier League (other than the opportunity of wall to wall coverage and the fact that Niko might stay with us if we go up). This season, we've been winning which itself is wonderful, but has also made that post-match beer all the more pleasurable. In addition, I am able to focus my blogging efforts on a range of topics other than why we have such horrible players that don’t care about us at all. While I would absolutely love it to be as loud at Loftus Road as it can be, or as it is when we sometimes travel away, I’ll take the atmosphere now over any of our two seasons in the Prem – and yes, even over beating Chelsea.

Maybe it’s the fact I’m getting a little older (yes, yes I know I’m not that old), but having lived through plenty of personal traumas at such a young age, there is nothing I like more than peace and tranquillity nowadays. Maybe it’s boring but I’m happier for it. And a little like Tori Amos maybe I have found myself and care less what people think.

But wait a minute, am I saying that QPR aren’t playing creatively enough to get me excited? I think not. And I challenge anyone who tells me we don’t show glimpses of a wonderful style of football with players like Philips, Kranjcar, Simpson...I truly believe these players are also learning about the Championship and this is a journey for them all.  So far it might look boring but they are delivering and doing their job. Recent results where we have been winning by larger margins also suggest that we’re getting a bit better and having more fun.

So what of Tori Amos? Well her hubby is actually from the UK, and she lives here with her teenage daughter. And last year she wrote and produced a musical called The Light Princess which showed at the National Theatre. It received mixed reviews although most were good apart from one from the Daily Fail’s (which in my opinion is a good thing). The whole family watched it together. It was a totally unique experience, and whilst labelled a ‘musical’ it didn't have any of the hallmarks of a musical: catchy tunes, funny gags, corny story-line. The story itself was based on an old fairy tale about a girl who took the death of her mother so lightly that she floated in the air all the time. She falls in love with a boy who was so down about the death of his that he was always so dark and sad. It was modified for a feminist and modern audience and sprinkled with Tori magic of sweeping orchestration and piercing vocals. And it was rich in staging: sparkly lights, a flying princess, floaty seas and skies. Tori was inspired by not just her childhood but also by her own teenage daughter.

And we loved it. In all her happiness and stability, Tori was still able to create something magnificent which still divided opinion amongst critics. Perhaps she will never again create something like Little Earthquakes. But stability didn't stop her from creating something special. And nor should it stop us fans from feeling like we can’t sing, or even from feeling guilty for not! I’ll admit Dad walked away from the musical purse lipped and slightly ‘weirded out’ by the whole thing. I think he didn’t like it quite as much as the rest of us.

As for me, I'm all for people doing things differently and positively, especially female role models. Loftus Road will no doubt bring us many Little Earthquakes in the future. But we might be surprised one day when it gives us something completely, and uniquely different. 

Tori Amos singing Caught a Light Sneeze live...one of my favourite angsty performances

Deserving

Exeter City 0 Queens Park Rangers 2

Huddersfield 1 Queens Park Rangers 1

Queens Park Rangers 1 Ipswich Town 0

It is rare that a QPR fan can write something in a calm and positive environment. There is plenty of time yet for controversy and angst, especially as we edge closer to transfer deadline day, but I really am very happy right now.

It was a great pleasure to welcome back my best QPR buddy Gem to the fold after her summer holidays, and to spend time with others at the Shepherd & Flock post-match. Much of the discussion over the past week or so has centred around how good it feels to be winning again. As I mentioned last week, I miss the extended coverage a little, but overall life really is better. It has been a little like spending the last two years with a partner who really wasn't any good for you. You knew it was traumatic, but you kept at it anyway 'for love' and it is only when you finally leave him you realise just how lovely and different life can be. I'm not going to lie, I think it was a major feat for me to be able to write a blog nearly every week last season given just how miserable it was- result after result after result. And there we were again and again in our thousands, travelling away from home in the full knowledge that, even if we managed to get a result, we were watching a team that we no longer really recognised as truly our own Rangers.

While Gary Linekar claimed that yesterday was the start of the football season (have now un-followed), the rest of the real footballing community looked forward to the third league match of the season. As early as it is, this season so far has been as good as I had hoped it would be. I am in no rush to get back to the PL and it will be a mammoth challenge to do so. While we haven't lost yet, it is early days and it is probably fair to say there is still plenty to be done to improve the team. Perhaps it's a positive that we don't look like we're firing on all cylinders yet?

Charlie Austin has made a fine start having scored within 90 seconds at Exeter. Although it feels as if he's missing a lot of chances - hitting the bar, post, keeper etc...we appear to be better at simply keeping up the pressure and not giving up. It has probably helped that several 'passengers' have now left the club and we're left (for the most part) with people who actually want to play a decent game of football.

Speaking of wanting to play, if we can we must do something about Zamora (the man who doesn't really like football). Yesterday, in comparison to others, he lacked pace, accuracy and was generally not connecting with anyone else on the pitch. Half the time he was looking down at his feet and it was frustrating to watch. On the other hand, if he hadn't been so bad, we might not have had to chance to see Tom Hitchcock get on the pitch and score the winning goal. As hard as us football fans like to think we are, we're probably more soft than anyone else, and we like to see people succeed where they have worked hard to reach their place. While it was great to win a the last minute, this for me was the biggest cause for celebration yesterday. Having Hitchcock on the bench with two others from the youth team is just the thing QPR fans want to see - wouldn't most other football fans want to see those who have grown up through the club youth system play first team football? These are the players most likely to have their own soft spot for the club - and this must certainly help morale and team spirit. Admittedly, Hitchcock came from the Blackburn youth team to QPR, but nonetheless it is nice to see a family connection with his father also at the club. He tweeted last night 'Probably the best feeling I've ever had.' That just sums it all up.

Witnessing such joy is great, especially if it is from a team you support. I admit I felt almost as pleased when Rickie Lambert scored for England earlier this week. With his first touch, to score the winning goal was a 'dream come true' for him. And English fans up and down the country saluted him because you could see it meant so much more to him (in spite of it being a friendly), than it would have to anyone else on that pitch. That's because he represents hard graft and someone who has worked hard to get where he is. We are a nation obsessed by football, but we are also fed up with people who just don't
act or work like they deserve to be where they are. I am so thrilled for Lambert, as I am for Hitchcock. And I am quietly confident too that former bricklayer Charlie Austin will also be a great footballer for us, as well as a decent, hard working person.

I haven't yet mentioned my man of the match Joey Barton. I do not excuse what I still believe to be pretty arrogant and poor general public behaviour, but on the pitch he is delivering. He was everywhere he needed to be, and had made some damn fine crosses yesterday (and how nice is it not to have Taraabt around to strop about who's going to take free kicks and corners?). We will miss Barton big time if he goes.

I am also convinced that I actually enjoy Championship football more.  I mentioned this last week, but it's physical, it's still bloody fast, there is a lot more ebb and flow to it and we aren't playing a load of prima-donnas every week. Speaking of prima-donnas, where is Mbia?

It felt so good to score that goal yesterday. Admittedly the importance of the event was not as big as the 3-2 win against Liverpool, or our Taraabt's winner against Arsenal last season where it was hugs all-round and severe knee bruising. Regardless I hugged Terry who sits next to me every week, and a bloke to my left who I've never met before. That's because it meant just as much to me as those 'big' games in the PL.

Past Life? Who needs it?