Two tales from two QPR women

West Bromwich Albion 0 Queens Park Rangers 1

West Ham Utd 1 Queens Park Rangers 1

One week ago, temperatures began to plummet and QPR fans had written off the possibility of an FA Cup run with the prospect of WBA away. Today, we have had three days of snow with more to come and QPR are in the fourth round of the FA cup (something to be celebrated at a club that isn't exactly blessed with a plethora of trophies). However, we still sit at the bottom of the table, and as time goes on I just wonder whether we will really make it. It certainly is strange sitting at the bottom and not actually feeling like we are, as performances so far in 2013 have been pretty good - bar the 2nd half against West Ham yesterday. 

Yesterday I was invited by a friend to sit within the hardcore season ticket holder section of famous Upton Park. It was a challenge I had to accept given he had sat with me in the Upper Loft when we played West Ham earlier in the season. And I must say I was nervous and excited, as well as conscious of the fact that I had been pretty upset about the Spurs fan sitting behind me last week who couldn't keep his mouth shut. I had an interesting experience. 

Last Wednesday my mate @gemcricketmad went to the FA cup replay between Arsenal and Swansea, and had an interesting experience there too. I've asked her if she can write about what it's like to experience a match where neither team is one you support. 

So here's a blog about experiences other than a typical QPR one...a tough gig for two QPR-obsessed women. 

QPR fans in hiding

http://houston.theoffside.com/team-news/are-you-dallas-in-disguise.html

The Ultimate Betrayal 

by @gemcricketmad

On a freezing Wednesday evening last week, I accepted an invitation to accompany a ST holding friend to the Emirates to watch Arsenal play host to Swansea in their FA cup replay. Now for me, any opportunity to avoid kids bedtime, drink beer and watch football is one to be jumped at, especially on the back of having watched my beloved QPR booking their place against the MK Dons in the next round.

So I jumped in a cab, running late and not wanting to miss a quick trip to the bar before the ridiculously early 7.30 KO, urged my driver to get to The Emirates as quickly as possible. He, being a Gooner immediately wanted to talk teams and to my horror, it dawned on me that he actually thought I was an Arsenal fan. I promptly put him straight and so began the dawning realisation of what I had let myself in for.

On Tuesday this week, it will be the 30th Anniversary of my first football match, Crystal Palace v QPR where my poor father tried and failed along with a whole gang of Palace ST holders to convince me, the tiny lone QPR fan, that she was supporting the wrong team. I stood and cheered alone as we won 3-0, having no fear as the horrified around me could only look at my father in dismay as their team was thrashed. I never looked back.

On Wednesday evening I realised that I had never in my life, been to a football match where I wasn’t watching QPR and as I approached the Emirates I started to feel slightly sick.

Having met my friend, I walked down the streets feeling like a foreign spy dropped in behind enemy lines. Surely everyone would know that I was a QPR fan? I half expected a sudden shout and then a mob to round on me and hound me back to Loftus Road. Funnily enough the Gooner fans just aren’t like that. Immediately, I felt hugely defensive of my adored QPR and started to compare every minute detail of the experience, from the glitzy turnstiles to the more expensive beer, the substandard bar experience, the far too many stairs to climb and the positively silent fans (who do all leave far too early in true fire drill style).

And so to the game; perched high up facing the clock tower, I felt a million miles from the pitch. It was useful for spotting offsides, but that was about it. There was none of the buzz and noise I had felt in the away end on previous visits and as I stared at the friendly but passionless fans around me who remained firmly rooted to their seats throughout, I felt like I should have brought a book to read as I could have heard a pin drop. As I weakly tried to join in with the occasional and highly original “Arsenal Arsenal” chants (I promised my 10 yr old I would) I longed for our Blue flag songs and Loft full of QPR Managers.

I declared to my friend that I had just realised, that to feel nothing at a match, no stress, no desire and no passion and indeed not to care when the goal went in was the most bizarre and unrewarding feeling on earth; but to my amazement, she leaned over and whispered “I don’t actually feel it either – I’m really a Bristol Rovers fan.”

At that moment I knew I had betrayed my beloved team. Despite a lovely beer in a distant Islington pub afterwards, I knew I could never stray from QPR again and will only ever go back to The Emirates parked firmly in the away end.

In disguise

by @elmodedude

It was a long trek to the other side of London, and with the northern end of the Jubilee line down again everything was just that little bit more of a pain. I had never been to Upton Park before, so experiencing it, especially as a 'home fan' was definitely like jumping in to a fire. It was painful to leave home not wearing any colours  - not even a scarf (note to self, must buy QPR pants for occasions such as these). Before heading for the actual stadium we met a group of friends at a fantastic Keralan restaurant in East Ham (foodies, you can find info on this place here: Thattukada). This is a side of London I am entirely unfamiliar with, and going out there reminded me of one of the reasons why my football passion has been so enjoyable - as it has taken me to all sorts of places around the country and on the other side of town. Just walking around a place, from train station/tube to ground, you get a real sense of the recent history and what sort of community you might expect at the football club. 

After a quick lunch and a hop skip and jump back to Upton Park, we were straight in to the Bobby Moore stand. I think I kept my side of the deal by remaining motionless and quiet throughout the match, at least in the first half anyway. In the second half I was able to groan a lot more because all those West Ham attempts on goal from crosses allowed the whole ground to moan and groan in exactly the same way: West Ham fans through frustration, and QPR fans in fear: altogether in one big sense of agony. I thought I was doing really well as there wasn't a peep from me when Remy scored (absolute boundless joy and excitement inside and of course I quickly texted my father and Gemma to let them know about my boundless joy and excitement). I could understand why in the Bobby Moore stand exposing myself in any way as a QPR fan wasn't a good idea, in comparison with that Spurs fan sitting behind me at South Africa Road. I suppose now I know why they call SAR the pensioners stand because we're all fairly polite and PC there. From behind me I could hear all sorts of things I am not sure I should repeat on the blog so in the interests of safety I won't. But I was surprised to be hearing things like that in this day and age. I did think to myself, perhaps it's a different generation, but then how would I explain the SAR pensioners?

While we were lucky not to be 1-0 down in the first half as opposed to 0-1 up, I was pleased with our performance. I started to get excited about the way Taarabt and Remy linked up together, but I knew that West Ham would come in to the second half fighting. It felt like we had collapsed in the second half, and I was not entirely sure whether the substitutions were right,  but given that we managed to keep ourselves level perhaps they were after all?

At this stage, I was looking at my phone quite often. That's when a guy next to me shouted 'Hey, are you a QPR fan?' I realised then that he had noticed the crest that is on my phone wallpaper. I looked at my friend in fear, and he had his head in his hands, embarrassed at this turn of events. I said, 'oops, sorry' and the response was 'Just make sure you don't let any of the lads behind you know.' I realised there and then, that even if I try to hide the fact that I am a QPR fan I simply can't. Not only in my words and thoughts, but it's right down to my phone wallpaper and ring tone. This obsession is now reaching silly levels. For example, I had guests over the other night for dinner, they complimented my on my newly refurbished bathroom 'It's like a posh hotel bathroom,' they said, but they weren't sure about the 'Proud of be a Super Hoop' flag stuck to the mirror. 

So, the second half was a real a defensive debacle. If I were a West Ham fan I'd be very disappointed it wasn't a 3 or 4-1 win.  Interestingly when Joe Cole scored his goal the guy next to me tried to get me up to pretend I was excited about the goal. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and when I watched his movements in detail I realised that he was faking it (hand and arm movements all too stilted, and not proper jumping up and down). This was confirmed when he sat back down and said 'Come on, you should at least try to pretend you are happy.' He and his friend also left 5 minutes early. I understood from my friend that they weren't regulars. 

It was a twenty minute walk to Canning Town. We avoided the massive crowd at Upton Park tube and passed a few traditional pie shops which I have pinpointed as eating venues if there is a next time next season...And we passed the famous 'The Champions' sculpture, very much the pride of West Ham fans. 

Like Gemma, my cab from West Hampstead tube to home had me chatting to another football fan - this time a West Ham fan who growled when I told him I was of QPR ilk. 

Unlike Gemma's experience though, I could see that West Ham hadn't yet lost it's soul in the way that Arsenal has at the Emirates. It's a big club, unlike QPR, with plenty to its history in comparison. Fans are aggressive and passionate - I respect that. But QPR's 'smallness' is also the reason why I love it so much. Our ground holds half the people that Upton Park does, and everybody really does know everyone. I stand by the fact that we are a a unique family club and I really hope that it stays that way. 

Will Remy learn this about our club, and do we believe after all these years Taarabt has a sense of it? I hope so. 

Have a wonderful remainder of the weekend everybody!

You RRRRRRSsssss

To sing or not to sing...

...felt like the question today for most of us fans that weren't busy booing Chelsea players John Terry and Daniel Sturridge. I 'ummd' and 'aahd' about whether to write about all the events surrounding the game which were happening off the pitch. I wondered whether it was right to talk about things other than the match itself. But to be fair the reason why I write this blog and am so obsessed with the game is much more complex than just to say I love to watch a game of football.

It's not just the game, it's the personalities, the politics, the money, drama and the gossip and rumours (which I fully admit I am partial to), that all add to the theatre that is the world of football. And this has been the case for me being a Queens Park Rangers supporter throughout the past twenty-odd years. Maybe it's because, as fans of this club, we have seriously been through it: from boardroom hold-ups, to collections outside Loftus Road...to a billionaire buyout. It's been such an incredible few years that one would be naive in my opinion to try to ignore all of it. 

So I come to today's FA Cup fixture, and all the controversy surrounding the game. I am sure I speak for most of us QPR fans in condemning racism and all the terrible behaviour in the run up to today. I mean, a bullet in the post?? Why? It's just incomprehensible. Without wanting to disrespect the gravity of the situation and the charges that have been brought to John Terry it seems that what happened as a result of all the 'off the pitch' tension, impacted more on the fans than it did the players today.

We were all asked to arrive at Loftus Road early today, due to heightened security and the fact that we were all being searched. Statements were released by chairmen of both clubs. Twitter was awash with all sorts of questions about whether Anton Ferdinand would shake John Terry's hand or not.

On the other hand, Joey Barton's tweets on Friday afternoon spoke of a seemingly upbeat team, sitting around having coffee together. Sounded like they were simply looking forward to a game of football where there was really no pressure to win. Let's face it, this cup tie was always going to be tough, but also much more important for Chelsea, than for us.

And so as I arrived at Loftus Road at 10.30am this morning, in hindsight, it was no surprise that there was a somewhat muted atmosphere around the ground. With the increased police presence, it almost felt as if we were the ones being persecuted...the act of so few ruining it for everyone else. And whilst we were quite vociferous for the first five minutes of the game, for the rest of the match we barely made a noise. The atmosphere was nowhere near as electric as it was the last time we played Chelsea at home in October. And I was saddened that many of us spent our time booing the opposition as opposed to cheering our own team. I remember last October I was one of those booing John Terry, but at least at that match, it was balanced out by the amount of singing we were doing to cheer on the Rs.

I actually thought the lads played really well today. Given the circumstances: the injuries we have, and the missing players, we played with confidence and Chelsea quite frankly did not look threatening up front. Let's remember that they didn't score that goal from open play. I think we can be proud of that.

So given that the lads really gave today a good go, and didn't let us down in terms of effort...why didn't we sing? I think it must have been our own nerves. We were so wrapped up in everything else around the game, we didn't stop to enjoy what was some great end to end football right in front of our eyes. And while the team came out making no fuss about 'that handshake' by not following the ceremony at all, we couldn't help but chant about Terry's mother!

I am not here to criticise ourselves. I am guilty of all of this. But it did make me wonder about human psychology. I was reading the programme on the way home and both Hughes and Barton praised the fans for the great support shown last week at the Wigan game, even at the point at which Wigan had scored. I am not a footballer. I don't know what it's like to be out there, playing in front of thousands of people every week. But I have to believe them when they say that when we sing for them, when we get behind them through positive cheering, it really makes a difference to how they play. And I can't help but think maybe if we'd been a bit more positive today as fans, we might have had a better result...As I sat on the Central line from White City, I sort of imagined the lads telling some of the new players that it was a great atmosphere last time, and then feeling a bit disappointed when it wasn't quite how everyone had imagined.

Well, today's post seems much more serious than my last few...but I am told a writer of blogs shouldn't try too hard to be one thing or another. And though there is a lot of fun, laughter and joy in being a football fan, there are also those moments when I am truly confused about how events do finally unfold, and how atmospheres can change at the drop of a hat.

Making friends

Today is the day us QPR fans have been waiting for. A big win, some great goals with one from open play. And some real confidence at the back. Though I realise that Wigan aren't exactly the greatest team in the world, we really needed the win to help us build on some self belief. Next week brings what will no doubt be an extremely exciting and potentially controversial game. Bring it on. It's never boring supporting this team.

The feeling at the game today was a far cry from the one I had on Tuesday night playing MK Dons for the second time. But sitting there on that cold week night, watching an FA Club replay against a team 32 places below us, together with a paltry 10,000+ fans, memories of past years in mid-table Championship mediocrity and League One blues came flooding back. No doubt the press would be writing about the somewhat muted atmosphere the next day, and I almost felt sorry for Mark Hughes as he looked out to all the empty seats and heard some boos from many fans who only turned up for the £10 tickets.

The one thing about these cup games though, is that there's always a chance you'll sit next to someone different due to the release of season ticket seats. And that night it was my opportunity to meet someone new. Next to me was a chap who must be in his 70s, possible even older. Throughout the match he gave me nuggets of wisdom which made me laugh and smile and think - maybe this situation isn't so bad...

Basically, we didn't play well on Tuesday did we? Or so I thought. Some of us 'booed' the changes that were being made, 'booed' the team, groaned in anger. I was one of them. And the man next to me said 'come on look, these guys are really playing so well'. And I watched carefully and thought...he's right. MK Dons nearly scored several times, they were extremely physical. They had nothing to lose, and it felt like we had everything to lose. I sat there, biting my nails (at the football it's the only time I do!) and he squeezed my arm and said 'Don't worry, I really think we're going to win this one'. For some reason I felt a glimmer of hope from his words. And when he even prophesied that we'd score from a 'set piece',  my hopes were affirmed.

Those of you who are a little younger won't remember this movie, but there was a film called Oh God that came out in 1977. That was actually the year I was born but I grew up watching it and its sequels. The film was about God who appears to an assistant grocery manager as a 'good natured old man'. I am by no means giving a religious message but there was always something about the movie and the way that God was portrayed as an old man that was quite funny, touching and tickling. I almost felt as if perhaps the chap who was sat next to me having moved down from row L was God coming down to sort QPR out and give me a bit of hope!

The truth is that really, he was just a fan who had been going to games for probably twice as long as I have. And through all the experience he had probably seen so many scenarios that he could almost predict what was going to happen. At the end of the match, we introduced ourselves (by name), and he was so kind and said 'Emily, you are a lovely girl, it was so nice to meet you, I'll be back at my own seat for the next match'.


About 3 seasons ago my Dad & I lost the seats we'd had for over 15 years, as we were late in renewing them, so I moved up 3 rows and have been sat next to the same people for every home game as you would be. And after all this time, the guy to my right  (where God was sat last Tuesday), turned round and asked me 'Hmm, where are you from?'. I guess it must have sounded strange hearing this slightly mixed up American/English accent shouting 'come on lads' or 'come on rangers'. So I explained my mixed background. And then I asked him why he wasn't at the MK Dons game. He told me that during the week he works in Holland so coming to games during the week is pretty tough. We found out more about each other in 5 minutes than we had in the 3 seasons we'd been sat next to each other. Such is the nature of the way we supporters are - week in and week out.

As I write this on the train up to see some family in Doncaster I chuckle at the thought of 'God' sitting next to me and smile at the sincere human interaction that takes place at the football. Of course, this is made much easier by the fact that the boys won 3-1. They played well and I am proud today.

Come on your Superhoops! Bring on Chelsea!!!

George Benson in 'Oh God'

The Turning Point?

I write this a few hours after the MK Dons first-round FA Cup tie. I listened to it on the radio, and felt this constant pang of disappointment as I listened to the commentary. Here was QPR, a premiership team struggling to hold itself together against a League One side.

As a fan that's always going to support the boys, I guess I have to say I am pleased with the draw. But I am nervous about the fact that Warnock is already calling the game a turning point. Surely, a turning point, in the context of a wider period of time such as a football season, can only really be recognised quite some time after the event? I completely understand why there is a flurry of tweets from fans who just 'can't believe we're happy with a draw'. But if I allow myself to think for a moment that perhaps this was a turning point...perhaps it there is hope:

Now we know that the replay takes place on the 19th January. This, quite frankly is a stroke of luck. Because it means that our captain doesn't miss one of the league games he was due to miss with the three match ban he's serving. And whilst we 'could have done without' a replay, to quote the Daily Mail I wonder whether this replay (win or lose), is just that, our luck taking a turn for the better?

With Ale Faurlin potentially out with a serious leg injury - I think we do need a bit of it.

Luck that is. And I think I'll be there on the 19th!