Soul searching

West Bromwich Albion 1 Queens Park Rangers 4

Aston Villa 3 Queens Park Rangers 3

Queens Park Rangers 0 Chelsea 1

I've been wondering about what separates the great teams from the good teams. And you could argue that today's result showed us the difference. One mistake on a windswept pitch and Chelsea bullied us in to a last minute goal. Up until that point I had spent 87 minutes believing that it's not always class and skill that wins the game, and sometimes, just sometimes it's belief and hard graft. But that's not football is it?  And if it were, perhaps we wouldn't have won that famous day at Wembley last year.

The last couple of weeks since the Everton match have made me feel differently about how we've been playing. I was away on holiday, and almost felt as if my absence was a catalyst for such fantastic results in the Midlands. After a really crazy-busy winter, I really needed to recharge the batteries and do a bit of soul-searching.  It's so easy to feel caged in when you are in a cycle, but time off to think, and the chance to listen to the Rs winning over the internet helped me to clear my thoughts. It was good to be back to my other home and open my eyes again to the wider world.

Like most QPR fans I felt that the results did bode well for today's derby- a match which we all take so seriously and for which 'new Chelsea fans' have not an ounce of understanding. It's all rather amusing how this team from the swamp came from nothing to something when huge swathes of money were pumped in to it by Abramovich. And their fans laugh at how much we consider it a huge rivalry even though it is absolutely the purest definition of a derby being separated by 3 miles. I think there are many millionaires and billionaires that have come in to the football ' business' and thought that throwing money would fashion a great team in the same way that it happened for Chelsea. We've been guilty of it to an extent, and failed massively (as is well documented). Frankly I don't know enough about Chelsea's set up to know what, other than money, has brought them success but I do think that within this world there truly is a higher tier of investment which simply isn't within the reaches of our little old club, or most others for that matter. And the handful of clubs that can afford it, ultimately succeed.

Outside of money, it's easy to think that the path to success in life is strewn with amazing epiphanies, a clear plan of action and positive thinking. When we look at people, companies and teams that do well, we don't always hear about the long hard slog, the zig zagged road that they've taken, the set backs and the angst. And sometimes they don't tell you about the times when they felt like they simply couldn't go on and considered jumping off a building or just giving it all up completely.

Sometimes when you are on that journey too, you see things you never thought you'd see, or you act like this person you never thought you would. If you don't take care of yourself it is easy to turn in on yourself and be blinded by the inevitable negativity. But most of us make it, survive, and redefine for ourselves and in our own way, what success truly means for us. Ultimately, success isn't the same for everyone.

Perhaps that is where QPR is right now? While losing this way is hard to take, it's continues to be part of that process I wrote about last time. I have a great feeling about Chris Ramsay and his attitude. And a great feeling about what Barton often calls the strong 'nucleus' of the team which no longer feels like its been selected via Tombola. I'd like to think that the club is starting to define success for itself on its own terms, but that's just what I'm feeling and hoping- the evidence will ultimately play out over the coming months. To be honest, if I take a step back from the results, the fight for survival, or the potential to go back down, I'm really okay with the team just taking a few deep breaths and doing a little soul-searching if it means I can continue to feel proud of our team the way I am today.

Simple

Queens Park Rangers 2 Aston Villa 0

Chelsea 2 Queens Park Rangers 1

I'm reading a book called Good to Great by Jim Collins. It's a study and guide on why some companies only stay good and how others become truly great. The book is based on years of research and study, so it's compelling and credible. Throughout the book, myths are debunked, particularly on the topic of leadership, for example: great leaders of great companies aren't always charismatic - often they are quiet, unassuming and unglamourous. In addition those who do have charisma need to be very careful with that charisma and how it is used as it can be off-putting. It goes on to explain that all the CEOs of the studied great companies, have something called 'compelling modesty' and humbleness. But what strikes me the most as I read this book is the simplicity of its findings and theories. I always think that it's easier to solve problems if we divide things up in to chunks or buckets - easier to say than to actually do of course!

Having said that, the last three Rangers matches have given us some hope. Whilst we've taken 3 points, it feels as if we've taken more because we're finally seeing a team play with some passion and pride, in addition to having a clear system for delivering results and an objective to work towards. I think it's been easy for us to point fingers at the players and presume that their hearts haven't been in it - especially after the West Ham game. The legacy of the Mark Hughes era has left me paranoid for one. But I think a few simple things have happened that have allowed the team to begin the dogged fight for survival for real...

The first is a framework with clear objectives. Within this, there are tactics, formation and team selection. Whether it be by chance, luck or the fact that Rio simply had to be dropped - there appears to be a framework for the team to work within. If people aren't given a framework to work towards, how can they deliver? If you don't know what is actually being asked of you how do you know if you are doing the right thing? From everything I've read, Harry has always been known as a man-manager than as a coach. I've heard many players say they like working with Harry because he 'let's me express myself' and 'play how I like to play'. That's all well and good but it seems to me that other than the likelihood that Fernandes had a word or two to say to Harry after that match at the Boleyn ground, there were a few others whose socks were pulled up- after all what was the point in hiring Glenn if he wasn't actually going to do his job and coach the team on this framework?

The second is that we've been able to develop what appears to be a clear understanding of what we might actually be very good at...within this I think there's something in there about our doggedness in midfield with players like Henry and Sandro frustrating teams with players of a higher quality. It also includes a better respect for Charlie and an understanding of what he can do. We know he will score goals when he's playing in a double-act up front and Bobby coming back in to the team has helped us to see that. 

Thirdly, passion appears to have been re-ignited. Gemma and I had a great view of the corner flag after Charlie scored the goal yesterday at the swamp and the look on Fer's face among others was wonderful to behold. I am looking forward to witnessing more moments like this. I did also wonder what had happened to the sports mentor Steve Black as he appeared to work wonders at the back-end of last season. And as I watched the Villa game 'tunnel cam' there he was - coming out of the dressing room just before kick off @5.30m!

As I've said before, so long as the players are united in one common goal and in an understanding that being at QPR is about survival and not much more, and if the above three things continue to play a part we will 100% be able to achieve it this year. 

I was horrified like many other QPR fans as I watched MOTD last night. I felt like chucking up when they used words like 'exquisite' and 'almost perfection'. Chelsea, the 'best team' ever to grace the Premier League, pass the sick bag.

But what of Charlie and his story? I can't help but think that while he has scored some spectacular goals for us - what makes him so bloody good is that fact that at its simplest he is a poacher. It ain't always pretty and if you think that back-heel isn't in its own way 'exquisite' that's fine MOTD pundits. I'm not sure that your confidence is required for QPR to survive and frankly I'm not sure I'd like it much anyway. 

Simple. 

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For those that don't yet know I have made it as a finalist for the Football Blogging Awards this year. I'd love it if you could vote for me. Details can be found here:

FBA Finalists

So close

Aston Villa 3 Queens Park Rangers 2

Fulham 3 Queens Park Rangers 2

After a few weeks off, I write this in a strangest of moods. I'm in a sort of half relieved, half angry mood. The last couple of weeks has taken me across the pond for work, and while club football closed down for the internationals I felt a little sad to be far away from home and yet happy to just forget the loss at Villa Park.

Villa Park was a great day out for me in some ways. I was honoured with my dear father @tonydedude's presence, and it was a chance to bond with the man responsible for my addiction to QPR. Not usually his style, he even wore the famous red and black QPR top for me (thanks Dad). We did all the things that you do when you are out with your Dad - nearly miss the train, forget to get a spoon or fork for our take away meal, forget to bring a paper from home for the train journey etc. etc..  Well, as far as I was concerned it was all the better for being able to partake in rare conversation.

The match, on the other hand was fantastic for the neutral, but painful for us. And since it was so long ago now and the we've since experienced another away match of the same score line and the same level of disappointment perhaps I need not delve in to the detail of the whys and wherefores of the poor performance  and our inability to play well for more than 40 minutes.

What I'd like to do instead is share with you a few songs that have passed through my mind these past weeks as we have seen QPR come so close and yet still remain so far from our hope of Premier League survival. This, all in my own hope, of making a few people smile and perhaps shed a few bitter-sweet tears as we near the final chapter of this season and suffer from one of the bleakest, longest and coldest winters I can remember.

Enjoy everyone!!

Running by Jessie Ware

A love song that spells out my obsession with QPR. 'I'm ready to lose it all...' she sings. 'Never give up...never give up.'  My track of the last 12 months. Amazing.

With or Without you by U2

I had this on repeat on my iPod after the Sunderland game at home. It was a great feeling to have such a big win, but, like the song's perfect orchestration I was full of that bitter-sweet feeling of 'hurray, but how long will this last?'

So far away by Kaskade & Seamus Haji ft. Haley

One of my top dance tunes from the last couple of years, there's something about the lyrics 'Live for the night, suffer the day, run from the light, so far away' that reminds me of wanting to close my eyes whenever we're about to attempt to score from a penalty.

Twisted by Ultra Nate

Known more for that bobby 90s track 'Free', this is a masterpiece of a song- one that I always imagine performing with a fabulous jazz band to back me up. Again, a reminder of how twisted our love for QPR can make us.

So Close - by Daryl Hall and John Oats: 

One of Hall and Oats's later tracks released in 1990. A love song that still resonates when I think of QPR. Lyrics like: 'So close, yet so far away, we believe in tomorrow, maybe more than today, we're so close, yet so far away' encapsulates in a nutshell the crap we have to go through when we watch our beloved team week in and week out. And yet still we many of us manage to pick ourselves up and look to the future in the hope of some wins.

Feeling the love

Manchester Utd 3 Queens Park Rangers 1

Sunderland 0 Queens Park Rangers 0

Queens Park Rangers 1 Aston Villa 1

After the Southampton game two weeks ago, I had made up my mind that we were going to be relegated. My hope was that we would at least be going down with a fight. But with a manager at that point who had the personality of a plastic bag, and a bunch of players who looked as if they didn't want to get out of bed that morning I suppose I was being rather overly optimistic. I even suggested that it wasn't yet time to fire Hughes. I was worried about the potential effect of another 'new era' at Loftus Road.

But as has been the case with QPR in more recent times, we faced yet another tumultuous change at the club. We witnessed a turn of events that saw Harry Redknapp cleverly play the Ukraine's interest in him to his advantage. It eventually meant that QPR did change from the 'long term plan' to the 'short term plan' (one of my tips for Fernandes). The situation appeared to have forced the hand of the board of QPR within a matter of 2-3 days. Before we knew it, we had a new manager. And not just any manager, but the manager that was meant to be the England manager earlier this year, a manager whose speciality is saving clubs like us from the drop. And a manager with a bit more personality than a plastic bag.

Three matches later, and two matches in to Harry's official reign the club is still without that elusive win. But while I may be frustrated and pretty sick of writing either D or L on my QPR Season Planner I'm heartened by the more passionate performances we are seeing from the team. Judging by the tweets this afternoon, there are many people who believe there are still a number of players that are grossly under-performing. My view is that there is a vast improvement in performance. I will even say that Bosingwa (the player I have a 'healthy contempt' for) was rather useful today against Villa. However, we still have some very worrying problems. And if we can't solve them quickly, I fear that by the end of December we will know for sure that we will be relegated. They are as follows:

1. We do not have a prolific enough striker.

I love Jamie Mackie. He plays with heart, he plays with passion. But he isn't an out and out striker. And nor are any of the other players that we had out there 'up front' today: Hoilett, SWP...Plus we have two 'strikers' in Zamora and Johnson who are both injured. And an inconsistent Cisse.

2. We are having problems in the final third

We're starting to see some creativity in the midfield. Moving Mbia in to more of an attacking position has been an absolute revelation (and I really hope that he was not injured seriously today). But anywhere near the box or in it and we're either lacking ideas, or smashing the ball (yes Taarabt, you) against random legs as opposed to the goal itself.

3. Our defence is still shaky

It's looking better I must say. Bringing Clint Hill back means we've got at least another player other than Nelsen who's willing to put his body on the line. But we don't have a huge amount of options. And with Cesar out (for I am not sure how long) we have a rather 'nervous' looking Green in goal. Did anyone else think that perhaps Cesar might have saved that Villa goal today? Perhaps I'm being harsh but tonight's replay will help me decide.

My very sad QPR Season Planner

Having said all of the above, I'm much happier than I was two weeks ago. Win, lose or draw, relegation or not, I truly believe that with Harry on board our journey will be one with some fight and some pride. It feels good to actually cheer and sing Harry's name. There's another dimension to being at a QPR match now which hasn't been there since Neil Warnock left. In all honesty, I am not sure we ever really felt like Mark was really on our side. I don't think we as fans, ever felt the love. And if we don't feel that from our manager, then how do we suppose the players might have felt about him? Or more importantly, how do we suppose the players might have been lead to believe it was okay to behave like? Perhaps it is, therefore, no surprise that we hear of SWP standing outside LR sprouting off about how it is the fans' fault they lost against Southampton (allegedly). Something tells me behaviour like that will not go unnoticed under Harry's watch.

And quite frankly, that's about all I could ask for right now. We wanted our Rangers back, and we just about have them. But we can't have the best team in the world because Mark Hughes lumbered us with a bunch of under-achievers. While we have improved, they still aren't as good as they should be. We also know that there will probably be no money for Harry to spend in January - with just one or two loan players a possibility we cannot expect wholesale changes. So all I want to see is Harry sticking a few rockets up a few arses. Ideally, if we find ourselves in a position where we don't think we'll survive by the end of December, I'd like to see us let go of many of our highly paid under performers and focus on playing with some pride and perhaps causing a few upsets along the way while we head back to the Championship.

I'm starting to feel the love with Redknapp in charge, especially because his grand kids are apparently availing themselves of QPR gear. I suppose with the media circus that tends to surround him, it also means that the Rangers still make the headlines even though we probably don't deserve it. But what the heck, us poor fans have got to take what we can get right?

On another note, the past few months have been extremely hectic in my work and personal life. And amazingly, even though we've been losing or drawing,  Queens Park Rangers has still managed to give me something to look forward to. And today I made it to Loftus Road with a pretty bad case of a sore throat and left it with an even worse case of it after screaming and singing for 90 minutes. But it was worth it, as I had the chance to meet some good friends that I have made through this amazing QPR fan journey.

People who aren't interested in football would probably be surprised to hear that there's a great sense of community and friendly spirit that I feel whenever I get to the football. But that's half the reason why I go, and half the reason why I enjoy it so much. Call it corny but with members of the #qprtwitfam advising me on which medication I should be taking to sooth my throat, I must say I was feeling the love today in that way too.

So where to now for QPR? I'll be at Wigan next weekend hoping to witness our first away win in 'like years dude'. But, win or lose, just give us a decent fight boys and I'll still keep on singing.