Connections

Charlton Athletic 2 Queens Park Rangers 0
Yeovil Town 0 Queens Park Rangers 3
Queens Park Rangers 2 Cardiff City 2
Wolves 2 Queens Park Rangers 3
Queens Park Rangers 4  Rotherham Utd 2


For most of my life I have been very conscious of my mixed heritage. My experiences living in the UK, Hong Kong and the Philippines have very much made me who I am affected how I feel about things.  I think there are others who feel the same way.  Back in 2010, a woman who was schooled in Hong Kong released a book called The Eurasian Nation. This book is a collection of thoughts and photographs from people of combined Asian and Western ancestry. Reading through some of the examples, you can see that every experience and every person is unique. It reminds me that we simply can't generalise about human connections, but that in life, connections mean everything.

This is a comfort as I continue to write this blog and share my thoughts on the ups and downs at QPR and all the connections that we make as we support our team. And as I glance at the results so far, it looks like we are, as always, in for a roller-coaster ride. I am not sure that we're going to be challenging for a play off spot (especially with the potential departure of Phillips and Austin), but I don't think many of us expect or want that. Conversely, we're too good to be struggling in the dregs of the bottom of the table (even if they do go). Our roller-coaster this season is going to be something to do with getting to grips with a new ethos and a new team. The kind of team most of us fans have been begging for for 3-4 years! We're in (to use an often used business term), the 'forming' phase of group development (of which there are four). And we're in it when there are pressures and targets that need to be achieved at least once, if not three or four times a week! We haven't even hit the 'storming' or 'norming' phase...we might not get there until the end of the season. Oh, to one day reach the 'performing' stage...

We simply have be realistic and honest about what is to come.

It seems to me, amongst of all of this, that our first problem to solve, is the number of goals we're leaking in. Never one to claim any tactical expertise, I'd be open to hearing what's at the heart of this problem. Is it our overall attacking approach, or it is specific individuals or specific positions? Having not had a single clean sheet in the league is a major concern. I don't remember it being like this at all two seasons ago. It's almost like we've got two different teams within a team, with the defenders totally unconnected to the forwards.

Nonetheless, yesterday was one of those few moments in a season where everything seemed to come together and prove to me that it's still a club worth being involved in. Credit must be given to those at the club who very quickly started to plan Stan Bowles Day after hearing the news about his Alzheimer's diagnosis. And by the looks of it, the club did everything it possibly could that day to drive awareness of the condition, raise money for Alzheimer's Society and for Stan himself. It was great to see him smiling and the atmosphere in the ground was fantastic. Many people there, including myself are simply not old enough or were born early enough to remember Stan Bowles playing. But that was irrelevant on a day which was all about connections: All of the fans with Stan, Stan with the club and with Loftus Road, the younger with the older generation of QPR fans, the players with the history of this club, and all of us together with our friends enjoying the icing on the cake in the form of a 4-2 win.

Please donate to the two causes if you can:

Stan Bowles- personal Go Fund Me  page to help support his care

Alzheimer's Sociery - special Stan Bowles  Fund Raising Page

Part of the process

Crystal Palace 3 Queens Park Rangers 1

Queens Park Rangers 1 Everton 2

I was going to title this post 'Dad is always right'. But I changed my mind and decided to use something he said to me as we walked to the car after today's match against Everton instead. Obviously, we are as distressed and depressed as other QPR fans tonight. Sunday evening blues just got even worse.

I've been wondering about what's wrong with us. I don't think it's the same problem as the season before last. Our biggest problem then was lack of spirit and passion. We were carrying several players who neither cared or liked QPR. It isn't perfect in that department now, but it's probably the best we could hope for, for a small club based in London, with, frankly, not a lot of glamour to offer. So tactically, earlier this year, I thought it was our defence. We had injuries and it was all going rather pear-shaped.  Then I started wondering about our mid field (too slow, lacking creativity), but Fer started to shine...Last week at Palace even the thought of Austin losing his mojo and getting frustrated entered my mind.

But Everton weren't good today. So what went wrong? For the most part we were hoofing the ball, making some sloppy mistakes at the back and midfield... and again we looked like we lacked pace everywhere (even though we had all our fast players on the pitch). I just couldn't break it down in my head. But my ever-intelligent father summed it up on that walk down South Africa Road. The difference in spite of the fact that Everton do not have the strike power that we have, is that they managed to break from midfield a hell of a lot better than we could. Or, to put it more depressingly, they managed to break at all, and when they did they had not only their forwards in the box, but two or three of their mid field. We were too predictable because we are just far to slow and not creative enough to move forward positively on the break. We stop, we look around and pass it to either of the two strikers who are the only ones in or near the box. And by then the opposition are well prepared defensively. So, it wasn't until Vargas and Taarabt came on that the ignition was turned on. And by then, of course, it was too late. It simply has to be like that from the start, and we need to be the first to score. Fat chance of that happening in future matches.

My mood is relatively unforgiving today.

I said to Dad 'I really don't think I can cope with watching the remaining matches this season, I'd rather know now for sure that we're relegated'. Roll on Fish Bits of Doncaster (if they get promoted from League One this season), and the great delights of Wigan pies (if they don't get relegated). But Dad said 'You cannot say that, it's like a wound. It's painful and it hurts because it's healing, you've got to take it because it's part of the process'.

Well, tonight I feel like passing on the process to be honest. But he is probably right. Even though I can't see any healing going on, he did say 2 minutes before Zamora scored on May 24, 2014, that he thought we would nick it. And Dad is (almost) always right.

Collective Psychosis

Nottingham Forest 2 Queens Park Rangers 0

Watford 0 Queens Park Rangers 0

1. psychosis

   sʌɪˈkəʊsɪs/

   noun

   1. 1.

      a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.

      "they were suffering from a psychosis"

   

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On three occasions this season I've been questioned by the same man who has told me that I don't write my blog often enough. He did it after the Watford game yesterday at the pub when I bumped in to him - flashing his phone in my face to show he had saved my blog as a home page and saying 'You don't write very often do you?'. If that's his sense of humour it isn't very funny and it made me wonder whether that's what it feels like when fans moan and tweet their players about how badly they are playing. It felt very much like some of these strange comments coming out of people's mouths at the matches right now, or on twitter that are in the vein of 'Austin, you're s***' and 'Austin, just can't score goals'. Really? I mean really? When we bought Austin we all beamed at the thought of an average of a goal per two games and with a record so far of 20 games played and 10 scored in the league I am really not sure he isn't delivering on that promise. And when I started this blog, I don't think I ever promised a weekly or a game by game match report...nor did I actually offer a match report at all. This was going to be purely and simply my own view of the game - sometimes commenting on the matches of the week or the day but more often than not, focusing on other things happening in my life that in some way relate to my love and support of QPR.

Twitter has been amusing of late. Sometimes personal messages between friends have been the most amusing. Messages like: 'Is it safe to go back?', or 'Don't look, it's just awful' or 'What a t***'. Seems that this latest spate of poor results for the Rs is making most of us react pretty wildly - some calling for Redknapp's departure, some asking for Adel to come back (really, replace one 'fat boy' for another?). Indeed we are, as @mcrae1000 (also known as Mr Shouty) has called it, undergoing a phase of Collective Psychosis. Because we are so upset about the recent results we're starting to search for answers in areas that are likely to destabilise rather than help our situation. And searching for answers as if we were fighting for survival in this league, never mind promotion to the next.

I was lucky enough to be able to go to the Forest and Watford away games, and neither were pretty nor effective although the latter perhaps a little better than the former even if it it was boring. I tend to agree with most fans that a striker is needed but not because Charlie Austin is rubbish, but because we simply need more than one and right now we've got the leg of one (Zamora) and half of another (Johnson) as a second option. In theory Redknapp's decision to play 6 mid fielders was probably right given the situation but yet again there seems to be a little problem with some of the tinkering he is doing - why was Kranjcar forced to play up front when it is clearly a position he does not enjoy playing it nor is his forte? Could Matty Phillips have played that role instead, with a pace that we've been lacking in that area without Austin? Also, after all these games it still looks as if Simpson is frustrated and we haven't quite figured out what to do on the right side. I also can't quite figure out what is stopping us from playing a more attacking or aggressive game. Is it actually to our detriment that we have so much Premier League experience in a Championship club and is what they are trying to do far to intricate and clever for what we need? Or is it that they really are being casual and lacking effort? I am of the belief that it is the former that is the bigger issue and this is probably a huge learning curve for many players. What seems to have happened is that growing confidence in the results have made them much too delicate in the style of play. If I look back at the first Sheffield Wednesday game for example I was excited by the 'go get 'em' attitude of the players. Now they're passing back to Green and Benny way more than most of us would like. But, could it be confidence even at this level? If they have any respect for the other teams in the league perhaps it is. A conundrum indeed.

At this current point in time, and until I have huge cause for concern (i.e. the threat of relegation), I intend to laugh quite a bit and have some fun. And one thing that has given me a huge amount of mirth is this video I found on Youtube which looks to be some kind of 'Portrait of Niko Kranjcar' as part of a series of portraits of players for the Croatian team. It looks like it's fairly old as he looks slightly slimmer and younger, but it starts off with a visit to what may well be his favourite hairdresser.  I am not a speaker of the Croatian language but one can have endless fun guessing what they are saying as she 'brushes' his hair and when he subsequently messes it up on his way out. There is even a one-on-one interview with the hairdresser where I imagine she might be discussing his favourite shampoo and conditioner, or perhaps how it is so easy to cut his hair when he is such a handsome fella... Later on, we see him reading a book (footballers do read after all!). I can't make anything out apart from 'Pillars of the Earth' which is perhaps his favourite novel, and later there is a Q&A - with one question I was able to translate about 'cuticles and callouses'. Nice. What this has to do with football I do not know, but it is fabulous fun and I'm particularly fond of the whistling soundtrack in the background.

(video below viewable on desktop)

But seriously, who are we to question the job of the footballer? It's so easy for us to paint a picture of someone we think we know and respect. It's so easy to expect something from someone without really understanding what they have been asked to do, or what their actual intentions are. However, supporting a football team wouldn't be fun if none of us had an opinion. And so I say to you - Mr blog critic, thanks for reading the blog but if you don't like how often I write, go and find another blog to read. I never put a gun to your head and asked you to read it. But if you'd like to spend some proper time sitting down 'sans alcohol' and reading all 63 posts from the past two years I'd gladly do so with you. 

Thanks for reading the irregular blog,

Emily

Paying it forward

Reading 1 Queens Park Rangers 1

Queens Park Rangers 1 Charlton Athletic 0

It's a little late on a 'school night' to be writing but I'll try to make this one short and sweet. I couldn't help but feel required to pay it forward today after the events of the last few weeks.

I was back at Loftus Road last Saturday having been away on holiday to the Philippines. Yes, the Philippines. For those that don't know it's also my home - I am half Filipino and have family and friends there. But luckily for us we are mostly based in Manila which was largely untouched by the typhoon. I received several messages from friends in the QPR community making sure we were all ok, and was amazed to see just how generous not only the QPR community has been but the whole of the UK with their donations to the DEC appeal. Everyone has already seen plenty of new coverage so there isn't a lot more to say except thank you.

On to football matters, having missed most of the Reading game having watched a juddering stream on my iphone from a Philippine island I was very much looking forward to watching the Charlton game. It was not the most thrilling of matches, and while there was nifty passing taking place it all felt a little bit like we were (as we had been a few times in the last couple of seasons) being a bit too clever - one too many passes and some of those passes going backwards rather than forwards. Is it me, or are we lacking confidence and a bit of aggression going forward?

I was praying for a long-awaited goal from 'my Charlie' and was so pleased to see that he scored a screamer from 30 yards out. Alas, no #slidingmovement for me, but according to Mr Barton a change of boots and laces to Rainbow ones appeared to have done the trick once again for him. Interestingly, the commentator on the Football League Show announced that Charlie had scored with his right foot, but had pointed to his left - perhaps he didn't know the real story about the laces and the fact in in some way Charlie was paying it forward by wearing the laces again.

One of the things you may not know about what is happening in the Philippines is that one of the biggest problems we have with the huge amount of natural disasters that take place there (we had an earthquake not long ago in the same region that took over 2,000 lives, and two years ago typhoon Ondoy killed over 400, we also have several active volcanoes one -Mount Pinutubo- erupted in 1991 killed several hundred), is the displacement of tens of thousands of people from their homes and livelihoods. And because we are such a complicated array of thousands of islands it's extremely difficult to get aid to those that need it. So it was with much appreciation that I watched the video at half time of the work that Air Asia are doing partnering with the Philippine Red Cross as well as using their own planes to help with the cause.

Of course I feel very proud to see QPR players doing their bit to galvanise individuals and to listen to the near silence at Loftus Road while the video played. But I am not surprised. It is, after all, what our community is about. People are paying it forward everywhere, even when perhaps they don't receive too much themselves.

Let's just hope positive attitudes permeate all aspects of the game on and off the pitch. Perhaps we'll see less playing it backward at Doncaster this weekend as I pay it forward and visit my Grandma.

Sweet dreams and thank you again.

Streams

Millwall 2 Queens Park Rangers 2

Burnley 2 Queens Park Rangers 0

I made a last minute decision to make my way up to Burnley this week. It was partly due to the fact that otherwise I'd be missing five games because of my upcoming holiday. This will not make me popular, but a huge benefit to not having children is that I am not tied down by school holidays and seasonal changes which means I can send a big two fingers at those who are stuck here suffering the winter blues while I bask in the Philippine sunshine. This, potentially isn't the greatest time however to be leaving the boys behind, so it appears I will have to contend with trying to get some kind of internet stream while I am away for all those games I will miss.

I've always said I don't miss the Premiership, but do miss the coverage that it brings. And with regard to this blog it has been tough to write it with some semblance of personal knowledge when I haven't been able to watch a game (even on a crappy internet stream). On the other hand, I never promised that this blog would be a match report blog, but a blog about the experiences of an honest fan who has her own realities of life to contend with. So as I made my pilgrimage to Burnley yesterday and thought about what I was going to say about the Millwall match having listened to it on the radio,  I reminisced over the days when we used to play away and to get any running commentary we would have to call Rangers Club Call. That unbelievably expensive premium line that started with Les Ferdinand saying 'This is Rangers Club Call, sponsored by Ericsson'. We would always ring towards the end of the match so we wouldn't run up a huge bill but it must have cost my father a small fortune.  I remembered when we started getting the internet on the dial up (which really wasn't that long ago), and listening on QPR Player to the famous Port Vale game in 1997 when we came back from 4-0 down to save the game and finish it at 4-4. It was such an exciting match in the end, but it was also exciting to be able to hear it on our juddering stream in my Dad's little office at home where I was back from Uni. for the holidays.

And so I pondered about how listening to matches on the radio, now that the world is again, no longer interested in Championship club QPR, was actually not such a bad thing. In an 'old school' way it's quite nice to be able to imagine what was actually happening and dream of the magic taking place while listening to the commentators voice. And so it was that Millwall was both quite exciting (having taken the lead twice), but extremely frustrating. And nearly twenty years after that Port Vale game this is now how my father and I communicate whilst we sit in different parts of London:

Excuse the editing (just in case little ones read this)

It would be wrong of me to comment much on the match, apart from that I believe these three away matches  (Millwall, Burnley, Wigan) were always going to be really tough, and that I think Austin is really getting in to his stride (despite yesterday's loss). I am glad to see him scoring again in open play. May we please see more of those, and more #slidingmovements. Amen.

Since I last wrote, I am hearing news of Charlie's engagement to long time girlfriend and mother of his child. Congratulations to them both, and may this bring more fruitful results on the pitch for QPR. As Charlie said on London Call in - if things are going well off the pitch, they tend to go well on them. I have been wondering just how much Burnley have missed him. However, by yesterday's result Burnley are doing quite well without him and for town of circa 75,000 and almost a quarter of its population at Turf Moor they put on a great show and it was a pretty electric atmosphere when they scored.

My view on yesterday is that there is still room for us to improve, but I think most people know that has been the case for some time. And leaving Austin isolated up front for every game is a huge amount of unnecessary pressure. However, I am not sure whether we were just a bit sleepy or whether we were trying to be too clever, but we made quite a few mistakes...seemed to lack pace and managed to leave Simpson stranded out there on the right (which I've seen a few times season). We're sort of playing a bit lop sided. I am not tactician but if I can see it, there must be something wrong.

Apparently there are a few people thinking it's the end of the world for us, but for me it's a lesson learnt and a slap on the wrist. The Championship is NOT an easy league, and I've always felt from now until Christmas will be the making (or not) of our season. We're playing all the top teams soon and if we can't get our act together for those, we won't be getting promoted.

The game was littered with fouls, tackles and a little bit of temper. This obviously game through in the radio commentary as my dear QPR friend Gem listened from home and texted me about what they were saying. Apparently QPR were going hard on the tackles as opposed to Burnley. I thought, what match are they watching?? This was happening on both sides. When Barton received his yellow apparently they were saying it should have been a red card, and that he was being an 'arse' or something to that effect. I could just imagine the commentators taking a bit of creative licence and turning it in to something bigger than it was and helping vindicate Gem's long standing hatred of the man. I don't know how they commentated on the throwing of a half filled bottle of coke (with the cap on), right in to Barton's head, but had that been some big Premiership player it would have made front page news and a right old fuss would have been made. Had it been me standing there I would have absolutely lost it. And I don't have a criminal record, am not a recovering alcoholic, and do not have anger management issues. While it might be a little bit nostalgic to listen to the radio like the old days to hear QPR play, I think I must remember commentators aren't always there to tell you what is actually happening on the pitch, they are there to entertain you!

Of course, there is nothing better than being there yourself. And, if you were there, you would have also seen the breakdancing Burnley mascot who did a mean caterpillar, and was sent off. I only found out later that apparently this was for handing the linesman his glasses (sour official!). This guy has a sense of humour obviously...and his fake jail time is pictured all over the press this morning. In addition, Burnley fans thought it would be rather amusing to bring an inflatable male body part to the ground. I must say, it was rather refreshing not to see another blow up doll.

However, yesterday will only be remembered as a match in which QPR didn't play very well, and Burnley stuffed us by two goals fair and square. I can live with this because we've moved on from last season and we've got players who care a bit more about us and have a bit more gumption. And even if we don't get the wall to wall coverage we have done for the last two seasons, we've moved on such a great deal from Les's Rangers Club Call, I think I can survive with the digital media centre that most of us fans have created for ourselves to keep up with the team news.

As we prepare for a potentially big storm that reaches England & Wales tonight, I wish you all a safe and pleasant Sunday and many good live QPR streams.

Treasure

Queens Park Rangers 0 Swindon Town 2 (Capital One Cup)

Leeds 0 Queens Park Rangers 1

Queens Park Rangers 1 Birmingham 0

#rbgf

Firstly, I'd like to apologise for the lack of blog posts these past few weeks. Work and family commitments left me with so few hours in the day to be able to report on my trip to Leeds. I hope it suffices to say that it was great to be back up north and spend time with QPR friends Gary & Robbie. It was made even better by a fantastic win at a very intimidating ground. 

I should be back on, in the usual form in the coming days, and look forward to another evening game this Wednesday. There is so much to talk about, but of all the topics I'm excited about a very interesting campaign that Barton is championing in support of Stonewall, the charity that works towards equality for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals. I'll be looking at whether this campaign could be the tipping point in the history of gay football players, or whether it's just another failed attempt in an archaic football world. 

However, first up this week I'd like to welcome back my best QPR friend @gemcricketmad who has written a little piece on her experience of  Birmingham game which I begged her to do. Gemma often visits Loftus Road with her son, and I was hoping for a piece that captured how special the experience is. I was not disappointed. I hope you enjoy, and You RRRRssssss

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There are 2 types of Saturday afternoons at QPR for me. Those with my 7 year old Rs fan in tow and those without. The latter usually end up in a far too late night, a never-ending lecture on my return about my alcohol consumption and Sunday being a long and total write off. The QPR Birmingham game fortunately, was the former and it got me thinking. What does going to QPR mean to little H? (I'll call him that for the benefit of this blog because it stands for his name but also for hooligan which at times I worry I am creating.)

He asked me at bedtime last week "Mummy, why are you so obsessed with QPR?" I struggled to answer and so said "do you mind that I am?" He grinned, laughed and said  "no, but can we go to the shop before the game on Saturday?"

Now for anyone who knows my son, he is obsessed with shopping and collecting and QPR provides him with the perfect platform to indulge in both these passions endlessly. Before we had even got to the turnstiles on Saturday, I was poorer thanks to one programme (for the collection) one gold badge (for the new, lucky "we'll win now" badge collection) and one QPR jacket, complete with hidden hood ("in case it rains during the game"). We are both good at finding excuses to shop.

As I had tucked him into bed on Friday night, I asked him what two things he was most looking forward to about getting back to Loftus Road (this was to be his first game of the season) and he said without thinking "Goals" and "The Springbok". I was worried by this answer on both fronts; AJ likely to be out and only having Austin to rely on (Little H has Austin on his new shirt and the same football boots so huge pressure) left me with the deep seated worry that there might not be any goals;  and The Springbok....... Yes, well, I am successfully but worryingly turning my son into a child who aged 7 begs to go on pub crawls - how irresponsible a mother am I? Actually don't answer that. But I must confess that our afternoons together are pretty sacred he and I time and I think that the fact QPR gives us that great excuse, makes us love it all even more.

So onto the game. The 1st half was a scrappy and tense affair, typical of the tough and relentless type of Championship football we are quickly readjusting to. The midfield were all over the place, we didn't look like scoring and Bobby..... well Bobby was on the pitch and only thanks to the Dunne wall of Loftus Road, Greeno and our crossbar, did we slope in at half time without being at least a goal down. So how did little H feel the first half had gone? "Great" he said "it was all great". Now I must add at this point for those who don't know me, that I come from a split family. I have an 11 year old Gooner son #fail, who is a walking talking stat man. He watches every ball of a game and can tell you anything you need to know about any match he has ever watched on TV or at a ground. His younger brother however, well lets just say, I was relieved 10 minutes in when I asked him which end we were shooting at and he actually knew. For Little H, a good first half at QPR consists of a large pack of Percy pigs, a drink of something fizzy and the promise of crisps or chocolate at half time (this explains his 3am visit to my bedside following the game to tell me he was feeling sick). 

So after a quick half time pint (mine obviously) it was onto a thankfully very different 2nd half, minus the Bob but with the addition of SWP and a shift in formation. Now I have a chequered past when it comes to missing goals around half time (other son missed 2 of the 4 England goals against Moldova)  but someone was smiling on us yesterday. As we walked towards our seat and play was well under-way, we were just in time (phew) to watch Charlie push the ball over the line - cue absolute delight from him and us all. And so the game continued in an entirely different manner to the 1st half. Joey (deep breath) played well again but saved me from a fate worse than death by not quite scoring with his mid air bicycle kick. We defended well - the lovely Ned not putting a foot wrong, midfield pace was good and generally we looked like we believed we could win the game. The moment Austin hit the deck looking injured was my most worrying, given our distinct lack of alternatives.

A highlight for Little H was the throwing of the blue smoke bomb by a Midlands fan and the pause in the game (son is also obsessed with bombs, smoke machines and rebellious behaviour) and was desperate to know how the smoke was emitted, where could he buy one, how had it been smuggled into the ground and what would happen to the man who did it.......

We chatted on intermittently - he believed he had seen at least 40 QPR goals live (if it's 20 he'd be lucky) and he seems to have erased the last 2 seasons from his memory (aside from beating Chelsea) talking nostalgically about the year we were promoted (he's forgotten we lost that Leeds game too). I am convinced he is creating many of our games out of his imagination, but actually that is no bad thing. The last 10 minutes of the game was spent with me arguing that just because we were winning, did not mean he was allowed to invade the pitch at the end; that I explained, we would save for our promotion.

So I won't bore you with the pints at the pub after (of which there were too few due to me being on mummy duty) but I must just share little  H's comment on the final whistle as he jumped up and down cheering "Mummy, now we've won, does that mean you'll take me to three pubs to celebrate?"

Secretly, I was proud. Job done.

Sneaky trip back to the pitch side after the game complete with new shiny badge and jacket (purchases)