The Best Days

Sheffield Wednesday 3 Queens Park Rangers 0

Middlesbrough 1 Queens Park Rangers 3

Queens Park Rangers 1 Wigan 0

Queens Park Rangers 1 Blackpool 1

Bournemouth 2 Queens Park Rangers 1

Blackburn 2 Queens Park Rangers 0

Queens Park Rangers 5 Nottingham Forest 2

As I write the list of results above I feel a slight pang of guilt for missing the chance to write about so many games. It hasn't been a case of wanting to absolve responsibility or laziness but just one of those instances where life has simply happened. A thousand and one things landed on my plate, as did a thousand and one games it seems...

People say that the older you get the faster time flies. And the older you get, the easier it is to look back on those earlier days with slightly rose tinted spectacles. Life never gets any easier, and will often get tougher. So being young, being free, can sometimes appear to be a place and time worth yearning for again.

I remember my 6th form well. I went away to school and I loved every moment of the amazing opportunity. I remember thinking about the times I would never forget, right then and there, because I was already so afraid of time passing and I didn't want the good times to end. I did actually enjoy academia. My studies and extra-curricular activities in school were my escape from another life. Perhaps that was different from others who were with me, but I am sure there were a few who felt the same way. I still look back on those days with such fond memories and made great friends that I rarely see (with some who are thousands of miles away) but know are always there. And while I enjoyed school and didn't even mind staying over weekends,  as much as possible I was picked up and driven down to Loftus Road in time for the 3pm kick off. As ever, QPR has remained a constant in my life.

The last few weeks were critical to QPR's bid to reach an automatic promotion spot. Most of us were concerned about it given the injuries we had, given the very erratic form, and given Harry's seeming lack of 'mojo' and motivation. But we had all obviously hoped we might pull something out of the bag, and hoped that a bit of bad luck might hit Burnley (who I have wrongly and out of bitterness turned in to a team I hate almost as much as Chelsea). At the time of the poor results, Sheffield, Blackburn, Bournemouth - I think we often put it down to a lack of team effort or a lack of positive team attitude. But then, for the games that we won - Middlesbrough, Wigan, I was so pleased with what looked like a fighting spirit. It's been confusing to say the least. And for the first time in a long time I've largely stayed away from the twitter world as I simply didn't want to get caught up in the mire of the range of emotions which I knew would only confuse me more.

Twenty something years on after leaving school, everyone is living their lives: doing well at work, and building their families. Living countless good times and some pretty bad times. And sometimes we've been feeling guilty for not keeping in touch, but mostly we've just been getting on with things. This week was a hard slog to reach the end. As always I looked forward very much to visiting Loftus Road on Saturday and the week off I was planning from work. Having ignored twitter for the most part, I was mostly hopeful and positive. As many know - from the start, avoiding relegation was my main goal so within myself (without the influence of others) I was still up-beat about it all. Call me a little naive and perhaps not that competitive, but that was always my baseline position. I was tired though, and still suffering from a two-week cough. However, just before the week closed I received a message from one of my old friends who was visiting London with a whole group from said school friends. They would be coming to Loftus Road and would I be coming along with them if possible? This was a complete surprise, and I cannot tell you how elated I was for the chance to see old friends together. And to be able to bring along new friends too made it a wonderful way to spend the day when we beat Nottingham Forest 5-2.

No, we didn't play the best football I've ever seen QPR play, but lots of things were positive. We scored first, and within the first two minutes. We had Charlie back, and while he didn't score a goal - he was pivotal to the general attitude and spirit of the team. Nedum scored a cracker after a great week for him (the birth of his second child). Niko was back (lots of eye-candy for the last twenty minutes). We scored 5, yes 5 goals (when was the last time?).  I suppose it was the last chance for the team to give us a statement of intent. So now the friends that said two days ago that they weren't fussed about going to Barnsley are asking if we should all buy a group of tickets soon. It was a wonderful result. And it was just amazing to share it with so many friends, some who I have not seen for over ten years. Not only that, but out on the pitch I was very happy to present a cheque together with many others to the Tiger Cubs for the walk we did from Loftus Road to the Valley back in February.

So, while my life outside of football in the run up to yesterday was ridiculously busy and filled with days that I will likely forget, in some ways that has helped me to get through the 'poorer than hoped for' results. We all knew that March was filled with so many games - a few weeks with two games, and that it was going to speed by which maybe made it easier. And in my warped way of thinking, you could say that was a blessing rather than a curse. An odd way to look at it, you would think, but time is only relevant when you take notice of it anyway isn't it? For what is life if you are not able to forget the bad moments and move on, or remember and treasure the good ones? I know that I can count them on one hand, and yesterday is definitely there, as one of the best days of my life.

PS. Apologies to those twitter followers hoping I might streak in happiness (I did say 'could', not 'would ;-))

Collective Psychosis

Nottingham Forest 2 Queens Park Rangers 0

Watford 0 Queens Park Rangers 0

1. psychosis

   sʌɪˈkəʊsɪs/

   noun

   1. 1.

      a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.

      "they were suffering from a psychosis"

   

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On three occasions this season I've been questioned by the same man who has told me that I don't write my blog often enough. He did it after the Watford game yesterday at the pub when I bumped in to him - flashing his phone in my face to show he had saved my blog as a home page and saying 'You don't write very often do you?'. If that's his sense of humour it isn't very funny and it made me wonder whether that's what it feels like when fans moan and tweet their players about how badly they are playing. It felt very much like some of these strange comments coming out of people's mouths at the matches right now, or on twitter that are in the vein of 'Austin, you're s***' and 'Austin, just can't score goals'. Really? I mean really? When we bought Austin we all beamed at the thought of an average of a goal per two games and with a record so far of 20 games played and 10 scored in the league I am really not sure he isn't delivering on that promise. And when I started this blog, I don't think I ever promised a weekly or a game by game match report...nor did I actually offer a match report at all. This was going to be purely and simply my own view of the game - sometimes commenting on the matches of the week or the day but more often than not, focusing on other things happening in my life that in some way relate to my love and support of QPR.

Twitter has been amusing of late. Sometimes personal messages between friends have been the most amusing. Messages like: 'Is it safe to go back?', or 'Don't look, it's just awful' or 'What a t***'. Seems that this latest spate of poor results for the Rs is making most of us react pretty wildly - some calling for Redknapp's departure, some asking for Adel to come back (really, replace one 'fat boy' for another?). Indeed we are, as @mcrae1000 (also known as Mr Shouty) has called it, undergoing a phase of Collective Psychosis. Because we are so upset about the recent results we're starting to search for answers in areas that are likely to destabilise rather than help our situation. And searching for answers as if we were fighting for survival in this league, never mind promotion to the next.

I was lucky enough to be able to go to the Forest and Watford away games, and neither were pretty nor effective although the latter perhaps a little better than the former even if it it was boring. I tend to agree with most fans that a striker is needed but not because Charlie Austin is rubbish, but because we simply need more than one and right now we've got the leg of one (Zamora) and half of another (Johnson) as a second option. In theory Redknapp's decision to play 6 mid fielders was probably right given the situation but yet again there seems to be a little problem with some of the tinkering he is doing - why was Kranjcar forced to play up front when it is clearly a position he does not enjoy playing it nor is his forte? Could Matty Phillips have played that role instead, with a pace that we've been lacking in that area without Austin? Also, after all these games it still looks as if Simpson is frustrated and we haven't quite figured out what to do on the right side. I also can't quite figure out what is stopping us from playing a more attacking or aggressive game. Is it actually to our detriment that we have so much Premier League experience in a Championship club and is what they are trying to do far to intricate and clever for what we need? Or is it that they really are being casual and lacking effort? I am of the belief that it is the former that is the bigger issue and this is probably a huge learning curve for many players. What seems to have happened is that growing confidence in the results have made them much too delicate in the style of play. If I look back at the first Sheffield Wednesday game for example I was excited by the 'go get 'em' attitude of the players. Now they're passing back to Green and Benny way more than most of us would like. But, could it be confidence even at this level? If they have any respect for the other teams in the league perhaps it is. A conundrum indeed.

At this current point in time, and until I have huge cause for concern (i.e. the threat of relegation), I intend to laugh quite a bit and have some fun. And one thing that has given me a huge amount of mirth is this video I found on Youtube which looks to be some kind of 'Portrait of Niko Kranjcar' as part of a series of portraits of players for the Croatian team. It looks like it's fairly old as he looks slightly slimmer and younger, but it starts off with a visit to what may well be his favourite hairdresser.  I am not a speaker of the Croatian language but one can have endless fun guessing what they are saying as she 'brushes' his hair and when he subsequently messes it up on his way out. There is even a one-on-one interview with the hairdresser where I imagine she might be discussing his favourite shampoo and conditioner, or perhaps how it is so easy to cut his hair when he is such a handsome fella... Later on, we see him reading a book (footballers do read after all!). I can't make anything out apart from 'Pillars of the Earth' which is perhaps his favourite novel, and later there is a Q&A - with one question I was able to translate about 'cuticles and callouses'. Nice. What this has to do with football I do not know, but it is fabulous fun and I'm particularly fond of the whistling soundtrack in the background.

(video below viewable on desktop)

But seriously, who are we to question the job of the footballer? It's so easy for us to paint a picture of someone we think we know and respect. It's so easy to expect something from someone without really understanding what they have been asked to do, or what their actual intentions are. However, supporting a football team wouldn't be fun if none of us had an opinion. And so I say to you - Mr blog critic, thanks for reading the blog but if you don't like how often I write, go and find another blog to read. I never put a gun to your head and asked you to read it. But if you'd like to spend some proper time sitting down 'sans alcohol' and reading all 63 posts from the past two years I'd gladly do so with you. 

Thanks for reading the irregular blog,

Emily