Monday, 4 June 2012

What to do for three months....

The end of last season was so exciting that I didn't stop to think about how hard the next three months would be. I didn't stop to think about how I would fill those Saturday afternoons, how my Skybox wouldn't fill itself up with MOTD episodes and extended highlights of all the matches we would win, how little news there would be, and how we would have to contend with supporting a below-par performing national football team in the Euros. I didn't even really stop to think about just how hard it would be not to write my blog on a weekly basis. I suppose you could compare it a little to the way it felt all those years ago at school when you were absolutely desperate to stop studying and for exams to be over, but by the time you were a few weeks in to summer you were actually looking forward to starting school and seeing all your friends again even if it meant having a to do some work.

So, to that end, I have decided on this bank holiday of holidays that is the Diamond Jubilee weekend to write a blog post. And herewith are 7 'top tips' on what you, my dear QPR friend, can do to ensure you get through this summer period in a relatively sane state of mind, and arrive at QPR's next game feeling rested, fresh and ready for another season supporting the Rs through thick and thin.

1. Make up for lost time

I know that during the season Saturday's are a no-go territory for visiting or spending time with friends and family (other than those who are also supporters of QPR). I do turn down birthdays, going-away parties, dinners, BBQs, hen dos, weddings if they are held during match day. So why not, use this as an opportunity to over-compensate for letting all your good friends down during season? Call them annoyingly every week and ask them to come out to the pub or invite them over for dinner. Even if they can't see you or aren't available, at least you've tried loads of times and that should hopefully put you in credit for at least half of the next season.

2. Brush up on your International football supporting behaviour

Join in the fun, learn how to make paper aeroplanes and throw them annoyingly on the pitch during a friendly at Wembley. This really shows your passion and spirit in supporting the England team. Obviously, spend some time reading all the literature: pick up FourFourTwo and start believing the England can win (they think so). Download all the Euro 2012 calendars and turn those in to paper aeroplanes as well.

3.  Learn to watch other forms of entertainment

Spend time watching things like singing competitions or concerts, such as the one showing tonight - the Diamond Jubilee concert. This allows you to be able to vent your frustrations in a way that you are used to throughout the season, via slagging crap performers off, and moaning about how little talent there is available. This can be a rather cathartic exercise, and if you are on twitter, this also helps to improve your ability to complain with great wit whilst working within a 140 character limit.

4.  Get a lover

Well, it is summer, so if you are about making it a 'summer of love'? Not only do family and friends suffer during the season, but if you are truly obsessed, one's love life can take a backseat. I know I cancelled my membership to ''  as I devoted all my free time to supporting the Rangers. And passing the time in throes of love making does tend to make it fly quite quickly doesn't it? Before you know it, we'll be at the start of the season. Just make sure that person a. supports QPR b. supports QPR and c. doesn't support Chelsea.

5. Get fit

What better time than the summer to spend those extra hours in the gym, or running in the park?  I for one had too many Pukka Pies at Loftus Road last season and am now busy trying trying to get fit. The summer hosts all manner of 5 and 10 kilometre races which you can join, and these are the less serious races where you'll find plenty of other overweight and unfit people raising money for charity. So why not join them and make yourself feel like superman even by just jogging through while thousands decide to walk it?

6. Moan about the Olympics

Why not? Everyone else is? Roads will close, tubes will be packed, no one from London has tickets, and if you did manage to get any you had to pay £6 for it to be delivered (I was one click away from confirming my ticket to the Women's England vs Brazil game but decided against it due to such a ridiculous charge). So instead of watching the Olympics, spend your time moaning about it in the same way that you can for point 3 (above).

7. Break free of the chains of Joey Barton

Take him off your wallpaper and screen saver. Unfollow him and refuse to discuss his transgressions and indiscretions. Ignore all the news that overshadows everything truly interesting that might be happening behind the scenes at QPR to make our club a great club. Hard isn't it? I've done the first two but haven't quite managed the latter actions...

And here ends today's blog post. I hope you have taken all my tips with a pinch of salt and have at least used reading it as an opportunity to waste more time prior to the start of the season.

You could just start a QPR blog like I have, and think about the topics you'd like to cover next season. God only knows what I will be writing about in 6 months time....

Anyway, I'm right in the middle of slagging off Cheryl Cole's singing ability so must sign off...

You Rsss