Saturday, 27 April 2013


Queens Park Rangers 0 Stoke 2

I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to book Reading tickets with @gemcricketmad. I suppose it was more about spending a day with a friend than the possibility of watching some good football.

Relegation is all but confirmed for us, and yet I actually checked for Wigan's remaining fixtures. Foolish I know.

As per last week's blog, it is far from my intention to write a match report. Instead, I look ahead to next season inspired by a recent QPR podcast game of 's***, marry, push' in which I review the members of the current QPR squad as currently listed on the back of our programmes. In this blog, I will take a look at each player, provide my view on their contribution to this horrific season and compare them with a 'super hero' where possible, if not I've made something else up just for them (aren't I nice?). Not to say that our players have been superheroes, but they make an amusing point of comparison...

So, without further delay...

1. Robert Green, also known as Green Arrow (just cuz his name is Green and he wears green A LOT)


Rating: 7/10

Sadly, Rob has had a rough ride this season. We should never have bought Julio and frankly if I compare the two side by side Green has been the better keeper and Julio has been less than reliable.

Verdict: Keep

2. Samba Diakite, also known as the Nappy Man (for wearing his shorts in that strange nappy style)

Rating: not possible

I am not sure what happened to Samba this season but I think we've missed him a lot. He was my favourite buy from last season so it's disappointing that we haven't seen more of him for whatever rason.

Verdict: Keep if he is going to play....

3. Armand Traore, AKA Almond Tray (that's just what his name sounds like)

Rating: 5/10

There's a reason why Arsenal didn't want him. Sigh.

Verdict: Get Rid

4. Shaun Derry, AKA My Lord

Rating 7/10

We haven't seen a lot of Shaun either, as we're meant to have players that are better than him on paper. But when he has played for us he is been pretty solid.

Verdict: Keep for one more year

5. Christopher Samba, AKA the Incredible Hulk

Rating 5/10

Considering he's QPR record signing he has not performed to that level and had a few appalling games. We need to sell him and make some money back.

Verdict: Get rid

6. Clint Hill, also known as Butt-head (from Beavis and Butt-head)

Rating 5/10

Our 2011/2012 player of the season has under performed as much as anyone else.  A deserved captain for his passion and effort and boy does he take a head butt those balls! But while I'd give him an A for effort, it's a C for ability.

Verdict: Get rid (sadly)

7. Ji-Sung Park AKA Meltdown

Meltdown from

Rating: 6/10

Blighted by what appears to be a lack in confidence and injury this season Ji-Sung Park appears to have gone in to official meltdown mode. Enjoying the comforts of London as opposed to Manchester appears to have distracted him somewhat. But I think he's still got a bit of class. He simply needs to get back down to earth. He'll be a decent championship player.

Verdict: Keep

10. Adel Taarabt AKA Stardust (something about being made of cosmic particle and energy...)

Rating 6/10

It was hard to compare Adel to a superhero as he means so much to so many QPR fans for what he has contributed to our championship years. It's safe to say this season he hasn't become that superhero. Whenever he plays the team has to form itself around him as opposed to the other way around. Frustrating to say the least but I do hope he stays. He's a magical player when he is at his best.

Verdict: Keep

11. Shaun Wright-Phillips, AKA Pheeeleeeeeeeps (from that commentary of the win at Stamford Bridge)

Rating 4/10

I have given SWP an additional point for scoring that goal against Chelsea. Other than that, I still can't quite forgive him for telling fans he didn't really care about QPR.

Verdict: Get Rid

12. Jamie Mackie AKA Wonder Man (since he walked in the winter wonderland...)

Wonder Man from

Rating 5/10

Mackie is one of our most over-rated players, but last year he is responsible for our turning point in that 3-2 win against Liverpool. I love his passion and loyalty but I just 'wonder' what he's going to do for us next season?

Verdict: Keep (just)

13. Yun Suk-Young AKA the Invisible Man

Rating:   /


Verdict: Hello? Anybody there?

14. Esteban Granero AKA Steve Barn (that's his name translated in to English).

Rating 3/10

Having come from Real Madrid Loftus Road must have been a shocker for Steve. First couple of games were promising, but other than that he has been a disastrous signing. He truly has been a less than glamorous signing.

Verdict: Get rid

15. Nedum Onuoha  AKA City Reject

Rating: 6/10

Having lost his mother this year, I feel a little sorry for him. He's fairly reliable and I suspect could be useful in the Championship.

Verdict: Keep

16. Jermaine Jenas AKA the Other one from Tottenham

Rating 6/10

Ironically, we were more excited about his arrival than we were of Andros Townsend. He has been somewhat useful...though I question his commitment to the club.

Verdict: Keep

18. Loic Remy AKA Champagne

Rating 7/10

I would have rated him an 8, but for the penalty he missed against Fulham. That was just so painful to watch. Sigh.

Verdict: Get rid. he's too good for the championship (we need prosecco not champagne)

19. Jose Bonsingwa AKA The Enemy

Rating 2/10

Sorry, I still don't like him. OK he has been better these last few games, but it's not like we've won.

Verdict: Get rid

20. Fabio da Silva AKA The Crap Twin

Rating 4/10

Looks like we picked the wrong Da Silva twin. Some promising starts, but he's inconsistent.

Verdict: Send him back.

21: Tal Ben Haim
Rating 5/10

We haven't had the chance to see him play much so frankly I can't even rate him fairly. He wasn't bad last week against Stoke but then again, we lost against Stoke. Sigh (again).

Verdict: Get rid

23. Junior Hoilett AKA His name is DAVID

Rating 5/10

He had an awful game last week but I suspect he has underperformed due to a lack of confidence and team tactics. I still like him though, he won me a bet early in the season when he scored against Reading in the Capital One Cup.

Verdict: Keep

25. Bobby Zamora AKA Murmur

Murmur from

Rating 7/10

Unexpectedly one of our better players this season. And I have to say I admire him for playing several games while in extreme pain. He was a warrior, and this feeling was magnified by the bandage he would wear wrapped around his head... but he's getting on a bit and I wonder whether he will want to play for a Championship team?

Verdict: Keep

26. Brian Murphy AKA The Other Other goalkeeper

Rating - unfair to rate

We'll need him next season as Julio will go.

Verdict: Keep

30: Frankie Sutherland AKA Frankie, do you remember me?

Rating: unfair to rate

Do I know much about him? Not really...but he is from our youth team apparently, and I'm all for home grown talent.

Verdict: Keep

33. Julio Cesar AKA Buzz Lightyear

Buzz Lightyear from

Rating 6/10

My love affair with Julio is over. Wearing that Chelsea shirt this week changed everything.

Verdict: Get rid and sell for a pretty fortune hopefully

37. Jay Bothroyd AKA Weird Love Gun Tattoo Thing

Rating 6/10

He hasn't exactly been a star player, but he hasn't been bad either. There hasn't been a lot of room for him, but perhaps he'll be good for us in the Championship.

Verdict: Keep

40. Stephane Mbia AKA King of Stagecoach

Rating: 8/10

He has provided us with much entertainment with his amateur dramatics but he has probably done the most for us this season of all the players. An exciting player to watch he can also be a liability though. I wish we could keep him but I don't know if he would stay.

Verdict: Keep

Friday, 19 April 2013


Queens Park Rangers 1 Wigan Athletic 1

Everton 2 Queens Park Rangers 0

Most people know I gave up a long time ago. It is not the reason why I've been a little more sporadic with my blog writing. I can blame that on a hectic lifestyle. If you are reading this blog, however, and think you are getting two match reports, look elsewhere. I've given up on talking about the team and how poorly we've performed. I'm in relegation party mode, and I'm going to write about a few fun things us QPR fans have been dreaming up and getting involved in as the season comes to an end and we await for the R to be printed next to our club name.

Here are top 5 QPR fan moments, ideas and thoughts for the past 2 weeks:

1. Pre-Wigan match some of the #qprtwitfam met at the Springbok. We got on to the subject of that guy who was arrested at the Everton v City match at Goodison park for warming up in a City kit on the pitch. We wondered whether we could do the same at QPR and whether anyone would notice two ladies in full QPR gear warming up with the lads? @annieqpr suggested even better - 'How about we ask if we can be mascots?' Forget the kids, perhaps we can ask Ian Taylor for a special request. Forgive me lads, the first thing I thought of was whether I could hold Julio Cesar's hand as the team entered....I know, it'll look ridiculous, but hey...if the two above are not options, how about giving us the chance to stretch/warm up on the side lines? Annie and I have been practising our knee bends, lunges and hamstring stretches. I reckon we would look 'well professional' (we've practised) . At the rate the Rangers are playing, maybe they could even get us on the pitch to score a few goals...

2. Listen to this week's QPR Podcast. My good friend @gemcricketmad made a special appearance by virtue of being an avid beer drinker (and a QPR fan of course). She appears to be one of the few people who has managed to make Paul Finney reduce swearing significantly. I'm very pleased that the podcast is inviting female QPR fans more regularly...there are plenty of us around, and we've got plenty of decent stuff to say (although I can't say the same for their hubbies who are, coincidentally, all Arsenal fans). I was extremely impressed that she made 'no comment' during the game of 'cuddles, marry, push of cliff/rid, when Cesar was mentioned. I know what I would have said (wink).

3. So, this year I will not be on holiday as the season closes and have booked myself on a train to Liverpool and bought a ticket to watch the boys play. Who was it who told me on twitter that Bosingwa would be the one to score the winning goal at Anfield that would save us from relegation? I haven't yet had to eat my hat this season. So instead, I'm planning to dye my hair blue with @gemcricketmad and @mrs_ajams. Anyone else care to join us? Or the campaign to get @paulfinney1969 to do it too - please hashtag #bluehairfinney? What's the point in wallowing? Might as well have our own fun even if the Rangers aren't.

4.  This season has been wonderful for one thing. And that's the people that I've met, and the people I've been lucky enough to get to know better. The actual matches themselves have not been the delight we hoped they would be - even at the end of last season we at least had a WLWLWLWL type of record - something to bring us up, after a downer. Now it's just down down down. Apart from beers before and after the match, with lots of lovely people. Favourite memories include: meeting @rafafernandez82 and the Springbok post-match disco. Will YOU be there tomorrow?

5. And on the subject of beer, it has been recommended by esteemed fan @gemcricketmad that we respond to @officialqpr's 'film your own match day video' tweet with a 6 second, 6 pint video. As we are banned from filming inside the ground fans are, shall we say, limited in their options. Really? Any more novel ideas for a 6 second video, tweet me. I'm still keen to try our own Harlem Shake, but perhaps we can cut it down from 30 to 6 seconds?

Shallow this blog post may be, but tired I am. And who wants to read another moaning blog about QPR? That would seriously make us all zzzzzzzzzzzzz. On that note, please could I ask everyone to tweet me any fun things they are doing as part of the #qprelegationparty. I may want to write about it in my next blog which will probably be after another loss.

For now, I sign off and dream of cuddles with Mr C.

You RRRRRRssssss

Friday, 5 April 2013

So close

Aston Villa 3 Queens Park Rangers 2

Fulham 3 Queens Park Rangers 2

After a few weeks off, I write this in a strangest of moods. I'm in a sort of half relieved, half angry mood. The last couple of weeks has taken me across the pond for work, and while club football closed down for the internationals I felt a little sad to be far away from home and yet happy to just forget the loss at Villa Park.

Villa Park was a great day out for me in some ways. I was honoured with my dear father @tonydedude's presence, and it was a chance to bond with the man responsible for my addiction to QPR. Not usually his style, he even wore the famous red and black QPR top for me (thanks Dad). We did all the things that you do when you are out with your Dad - nearly miss the train, forget to get a spoon or fork for our take away meal, forget to bring a paper from home for the train journey etc. etc..  Well, as far as I was concerned it was all the better for being able to partake in rare conversation.

The match, on the other hand was fantastic for the neutral, but painful for us. And since it was so long ago now and the we've since experienced another away match of the same score line and the same level of disappointment perhaps I need not delve in to the detail of the whys and wherefores of the poor performance  and our inability to play well for more than 40 minutes.

What I'd like to do instead is share with you a few songs that have passed through my mind these past weeks as we have seen QPR come so close and yet still remain so far from our hope of Premier League survival. This, all in my own hope, of making a few people smile and perhaps shed a few bitter-sweet tears as we near the final chapter of this season and suffer from one of the bleakest, longest and coldest winters I can remember.

Enjoy everyone!!

Running by Jessie Ware

A love song that spells out my obsession with QPR. 'I'm ready to lose it all...' she sings. 'Never give up...never give up.'  My track of the last 12 months. Amazing.

With or Without you by U2

I had this on repeat on my iPod after the Sunderland game at home. It was a great feeling to have such a big win, but, like the song's perfect orchestration I was full of that bitter-sweet feeling of 'hurray, but how long will this last?'

So far away by Kaskade & Seamus Haji ft. Haley

One of my top dance tunes from the last couple of years, there's something about the lyrics 'Live for the night, suffer the day, run from the light, so far away' that reminds me of wanting to close my eyes whenever we're about to attempt to score from a penalty.

Twisted by Ultra Nate

Known more for that bobby 90s track 'Free', this is a masterpiece of a song- one that I always imagine performing with a fabulous jazz band to back me up. Again, a reminder of how twisted our love for QPR can make us.

So Close - by Daryl Hall and John Oats: 

One of Hall and Oats's later tracks released in 1990. A love song that still resonates when I think of QPR. Lyrics like: 'So close, yet so far away, we believe in tomorrow, maybe more than today, we're so close, yet so far away' encapsulates in a nutshell the crap we have to go through when we watch our beloved team week in and week out. And yet still we many of us manage to pick ourselves up and look to the future in the hope of some wins.