In and out of love

Queens Park Rangers 2 Stoke City 2

Do not read this blog post if you aren't going to take it in the humour in which it is intended...for it is very much a light-hearted take on of being a QPR and Niko Kranjcar fan!

It's no secret that I'm a self proclaimed Niko Kranjcar 'groupie'. But I'm certainly not the only lady who feels this way. I feel blessed to be very close to @gemcricketmad who has also fallen head over heels for the baller of a Croat. The groupie world is certainly not a lonely place when it comes to this QPR player. And his re-signing on transfer deadline day sent many of us in to a massive Niko frenzy.

Frankly, it's a good thing he is around because he is truly the 'stardust' in what is currently a team with an extremely leaky defence and an obsession with playing Rio Ferdinand in every game for the full 90 minutes. And after seeing both Spurs and Man U lose to 'lower level' teams today the nerves are kicking in a little bit about the next few horrifically challenging games we have. So far, Niko has provided that little bit of magic and creativity that we should be seeing from a handful of players at the very least (injuries for Barton and Mutch certainly not helping). And after yesterday's stunning last minute goal I believe there are several men who might be experiencing the effects of serious man-crush (some hilarious tweets circulated yesterday such as: #iwanttomarniko by @qprsludger).

I was worried at the end of last season. I always said that if Niko left QPR, the love affair would be over. That would have been difficult to do but...QPR always comes first. And, after all, the reason why it's so much fun to support him is because he does play for the Rangers. And now that he is back and obviously enjoys being with us (although frankly I am not sure I know anyone, Ukrainian friends included, who wants to be in the Ukraine), it's just a bonus isn't it?

But it wasn't always that way with Niko and several fans are eating their words about his weight, his technical ability, his tactical know-how and his fitness. Over the summer break a good article was published titled What's Next for Croatia's Forgotten Genius? Some points in there that were interesting around Niko's self-awareness about this lack of speed. I also managed to get a translation of a video that I posted in an earlier blog (Collective Psychosis). Apparently in one scene he says something about the fact that every day he weighs himself and hopes that he has lost 100 grams as he has a trouble managing his weight. With Niko- the self-awareness and humble nature is a huge reason why he attracts the so many (apart from his strikingly good looks of course).  When my friend Gem welcomed Niko back yesterday 'on behalf of all female QPR fans' he shyly smiled and said 'it's great to be back'. Awwww.

But seriously, is he a forgotten talent, or is he too injury prone and too slow for the Premier League? For if he were truly a genius footballer would he really being playing for little ol' Rangers? It's a fair question to ask. But I'd say at this stage it's too early to tell and it would be great to see him consistently perform this way. But he saved our bacon yesterday - by far QPR's man of the match by (according to several twitter quotes) a 'country mile'. And he did lose the weight over the summer period and he did get fit. No, he's not that fast but I have some empathy for him. I've been a gym goer for years, and I love running and swimming. But no matter how hard I train I have always had and only ever will have just one pace. It's frustrating but I try to make up for it with pure enthusiasm!! Hardly a comparison point I know with one quite so skilful.

I guess it is just so very easy for us to pass judgement on players and their fitness levels and weight sometimes we don't even look at ourselves closely enough. And for that matter, sometimes we're just a little bit biased about one player over another? I mean - did anyone notice how Adel came back with a bum bigger than mine? Gem was certain that in pre-season training he was wearing a tummy control pair of pants.

On the other hand, does it really matter whether he isn't the fastest or best midfielder in the world? We are just QPR after all, and to have a player as good as he is want to come and play for us, is surely only a good thing. The days of  monobrow and such like are surely behind us now.

As I finish this post, I see that wins today for teams around us have moved us to the bottom 3 of the table. It's early days but I hope and pray for a bit more magic from not just Niko but others in what should be a pretty talented squad. One thing's for sure though, Niko will one day be gone, but QPR will always be in my heart.

Putting your best foot forward

Leicester City 1 Queens Park Rangers 0

Queens Park Rangers 2 Watford 1

I was at a work conference a few weeks ago. We had some great speakers from various businesses. One that interested me the most was a tech company that specialises in helping start-up tech and media companies. The speaker, Jörg  Rheinboldt from Plug and Play Tech Centre, when asked what he perceived to be a winning formula, said that a 'brilliant team with a mediocre idea was better than a mediocre team with a brilliant idea'. This, as an avid QPR fan and someone who is fascinated by sports psychology and management, resonated with me. Why? Because we have spent most of the season complaining about the players in the QPR squad, largely due to their under-achievement despite their supposed pedigree. It has been somewhat obvious to us all that such pedigree does not guarantee quality football,  nor does it guarantee consistent winning and a place in an automatic promotion spot. What we have been hoping for all season is to watch a team that is just that, a great team in itself whether we are playing fallen stars like Niko Kranjcar and Benoit Assou-Ekotto,  youngsters like Max Ehmer, or up-and-coming Charlie Austin. We haven't really seen that. We've seen glimpses of it in some matches, but it hasn't been consistent enough. One might argue that the injuries that have plagued us has not allowed us to have such a level of consistency. I don't know if that's totally fair.

Companies are constantly trying to re-invent themselves to keep up with the changing world, especially media and technology companies. Innovation has been a buzz word for years, and it is ever-present in my industry. But often we hear that, in practice, you cannot force people to be innovative. It has to be organic, and sometimes (but very rarely) it's innate, or natural. It's the same with anything isn't it? You can't force a team to create a spirit. Look back on our team that promoted itself in 2004: we all look back on those players and the manager with some wistfulness. But we lived with a very different set of ingredients at the time. Perhaps we actually look back with rose-tinted spectacles given that at that point we were still under huge financial pressure as a club with a lot less options than we have now. There is nothing more powerful than a difficult battle that can unite people.

So what of our team now? Will they truly understand the magnitude of the task ahead in the play-offs? There is a job to be done - the task is simply to make it to the Premier League by winning. But for many fans, even if we do make it to the final, what we really want to see now is passion and not arrogance. There is a reason why these so-called 'Premier League quality' players are playing with us and not in the Premier League. But bearing that in mind, the fact that the play-offs is really a lottery and frankly it doesn't matter where you finish and that you must simply win the competition, means that - mediocre or not - the players must unite. And I believe our only hope is in the belief and passion that we can do it. And frankly that they, the players WANT to do it. It's all well and good Joey Barton doing some lovely stats piece on whether we can win but as he so rightly titled his piece - 'optimism' and 'belief' are actually where it's at.

The role that Harry plays in all of this is critical. The situation we are heading for will all be about preparing the team mentally more than anything else. I really hope that he is up to it as it's probably going to be his biggest task so far as a manager. We only have to look at how Mourinho's extremely sour (but very amusing) behaviour (post-Sunderland loss) probably impacts on a team like Chelsea which now leaves them 5 points behind Liverpool and unlikely to win the Premier League title. On the other hand, I can imagine Chelsea players responding to a manager like Mourinho who thrives on pointing out negative aspects of everything outside of his control in order to win his own side over. To me, it's cheap shots. But for some, it works.

One could argue that the fact that Harry has played a different team for every game hasn't helped us at all. I think all of us can understand why Redknapp played the '2nd team' he did on Saturday and the '1st team' today. But not all of us actually agree with it. Surely, at this stage in the season we should have players that are fit enough, good enough and game enough to play both matches so we put our best foot forward every time and take the consequences regardless?

That said, given today's winning result and the (let's be honest) expected loss on Saturday perhaps Harry was right to do what he did. You could say that attitude and spirit should not just be reserved for those that are picked on the day. They are things that exist on and off the pitch. But I sometimes wonder whether we truly have that? I cannot be absolutely sure.

All I can be sure of is that I'll be there, with many thousands of others, cheering the boys on and hoping, just hoping we might do it.

The Best Days

Sheffield Wednesday 3 Queens Park Rangers 0

Middlesbrough 1 Queens Park Rangers 3

Queens Park Rangers 1 Wigan 0

Queens Park Rangers 1 Blackpool 1

Bournemouth 2 Queens Park Rangers 1

Blackburn 2 Queens Park Rangers 0

Queens Park Rangers 5 Nottingham Forest 2

As I write the list of results above I feel a slight pang of guilt for missing the chance to write about so many games. It hasn't been a case of wanting to absolve responsibility or laziness but just one of those instances where life has simply happened. A thousand and one things landed on my plate, as did a thousand and one games it seems...

People say that the older you get the faster time flies. And the older you get, the easier it is to look back on those earlier days with slightly rose tinted spectacles. Life never gets any easier, and will often get tougher. So being young, being free, can sometimes appear to be a place and time worth yearning for again.

I remember my 6th form well. I went away to school and I loved every moment of the amazing opportunity. I remember thinking about the times I would never forget, right then and there, because I was already so afraid of time passing and I didn't want the good times to end. I did actually enjoy academia. My studies and extra-curricular activities in school were my escape from another life. Perhaps that was different from others who were with me, but I am sure there were a few who felt the same way. I still look back on those days with such fond memories and made great friends that I rarely see (with some who are thousands of miles away) but know are always there. And while I enjoyed school and didn't even mind staying over weekends,  as much as possible I was picked up and driven down to Loftus Road in time for the 3pm kick off. As ever, QPR has remained a constant in my life.

The last few weeks were critical to QPR's bid to reach an automatic promotion spot. Most of us were concerned about it given the injuries we had, given the very erratic form, and given Harry's seeming lack of 'mojo' and motivation. But we had all obviously hoped we might pull something out of the bag, and hoped that a bit of bad luck might hit Burnley (who I have wrongly and out of bitterness turned in to a team I hate almost as much as Chelsea). At the time of the poor results, Sheffield, Blackburn, Bournemouth - I think we often put it down to a lack of team effort or a lack of positive team attitude. But then, for the games that we won - Middlesbrough, Wigan, I was so pleased with what looked like a fighting spirit. It's been confusing to say the least. And for the first time in a long time I've largely stayed away from the twitter world as I simply didn't want to get caught up in the mire of the range of emotions which I knew would only confuse me more.

Twenty something years on after leaving school, everyone is living their lives: doing well at work, and building their families. Living countless good times and some pretty bad times. And sometimes we've been feeling guilty for not keeping in touch, but mostly we've just been getting on with things. This week was a hard slog to reach the end. As always I looked forward very much to visiting Loftus Road on Saturday and the week off I was planning from work. Having ignored twitter for the most part, I was mostly hopeful and positive. As many know - from the start, avoiding relegation was my main goal so within myself (without the influence of others) I was still up-beat about it all. Call me a little naive and perhaps not that competitive, but that was always my baseline position. I was tired though, and still suffering from a two-week cough. However, just before the week closed I received a message from one of my old friends who was visiting London with a whole group from said school friends. They would be coming to Loftus Road and would I be coming along with them if possible? This was a complete surprise, and I cannot tell you how elated I was for the chance to see old friends together. And to be able to bring along new friends too made it a wonderful way to spend the day when we beat Nottingham Forest 5-2.

No, we didn't play the best football I've ever seen QPR play, but lots of things were positive. We scored first, and within the first two minutes. We had Charlie back, and while he didn't score a goal - he was pivotal to the general attitude and spirit of the team. Nedum scored a cracker after a great week for him (the birth of his second child). Niko was back (lots of eye-candy for the last twenty minutes). We scored 5, yes 5 goals (when was the last time?).  I suppose it was the last chance for the team to give us a statement of intent. So now the friends that said two days ago that they weren't fussed about going to Barnsley are asking if we should all buy a group of tickets soon. It was a wonderful result. And it was just amazing to share it with so many friends, some who I have not seen for over ten years. Not only that, but out on the pitch I was very happy to present a cheque together with many others to the Tiger Cubs for the walk we did from Loftus Road to the Valley back in February.

So, while my life outside of football in the run up to yesterday was ridiculously busy and filled with days that I will likely forget, in some ways that has helped me to get through the 'poorer than hoped for' results. We all knew that March was filled with so many games - a few weeks with two games, and that it was going to speed by which maybe made it easier. And in my warped way of thinking, you could say that was a blessing rather than a curse. An odd way to look at it, you would think, but time is only relevant when you take notice of it anyway isn't it? For what is life if you are not able to forget the bad moments and move on, or remember and treasure the good ones? I know that I can count them on one hand, and yesterday is definitely there, as one of the best days of my life.

PS. Apologies to those twitter followers hoping I might streak in happiness (I did say 'could', not 'would ;-))

Chance

Birmingham 0 Queens Park Rangers 2

Brighton 2 Queens Park Rangers 0

Queens Park Rangers 3 Yeovil Town 0

If you are a QPR fan, chances are you'll be scratching your head about the team injuries and ruing our luck...But, yesterday was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the mercury was rising, and QPR won 3-0 playing some nice football along the way. With Yeovil's first 'goal' disallowed, it felt like luck (and the referee) were on our side this time. 

However, chances are, that when you saw Zamora lined up on the bench at 2:01pm, you thought 'Christ on a bike, we're now scraping the barrel for options'. I believe I tweeted 'Don't panic everyone Zamora is on the bench hahahahaha'. 4 people favourited that tweet, and one person replied 'Time for some comedy gold'. 

And, chances are that some QPR fans were hoping that 'fat fingered' Kranjcar would not come off the bench (whilst they downed their 5th pint and rubbed their over sized bellies). But that other QPR fans were hoping they would see the Loftus Road dreamboat in action. Neither hoping (of course) for a Traore injury that would mean he would actually play - but all cheering like maniacs after a sublime set-up of Morrison's second goal. 

However, chances are you will be very worried about the additional three injuries picked up - Green, Traore and Jenas all out for Tuesday's match against Sheffield Wednesday. And you'll be wondering just what is going on and what is causing our players to snatch these little niggles. I must say I'm  tempted to get a physio qualification and apply for a job at QPR to help the dire situation. Chances are, if Niko is still there when I do qualify, I'll probably do it for free. 

You'll be thinking just how lucky we are to have found such a nifty mid-fielder like him who is arguably better than Adel Taarabt and for me a lot more interesting as a person. But, chances are, he's way too good for West Ham to sell and we will wave goodbye to him at the end of the season and watch him play for other clubs with a little bitterness (like we do when we see Routledge when he plays for Swansea). 

Chances are, Keane isn't going to cut it, and neither is Maiga (especially if Zamora's picked ahead of him). Both players will likely be lost in the world of a loanee lifestyle and forgotten by most. 

And chances are that earlier this week when you heard about Danny Ings getting injured you knew that it probably wouldn't make a lot of difference to our position in the table, and you tried not to be happy about it (it isn't very nice to wish ill on anyone) but you did pull a little wry smile to yourself as you read the news. 

To be honest, Burnley and Leicester have run away with it, and we will probably make it to the play offs and that the road will be bumpy. But, chances are, we will draw Forest away in the first leg and lose. Or we do make it to Wembley and, again, lose. 

So, chances are, there will be a few QPR fans hoping we try to consolidate in the Champ and finish 7th - therefore avoiding the heartache of this kind of a play off competition (winning competitions not being our forte obviously). Although there will be a few who will wonder what's the point in playing if you aren't going to want to win something. 

Speaking of winning, chances are you've noticed just how committed Barton is to playing football for QPR at the moment and how passionate he is when we score a goal and when we win. Look around at all the other players, and chances are they aren't quite as enthusiastic as he is. He's grown up since the day he set foot in our club the first time, and he's also playing well - he is leaner, faster and fitter than I've ever seen. Or maybe, he's simply found his level. I suspect he won't be far off the top when it comes to voting for the Player of the Year. Looking back at what he did two years ago, and just how angry we all were - perhaps it's about time some of us realised what giving people a chance can do for us as well. 

And that's exactly what happened with when Zamora came off the bench and scored that crucial second goal (and what a blinding header it was). Chances are that you cheered through laughter almost in the same way Zamora and Barton did when they celebrated. You laughed at yourself for being the fickle football fans that you are. But you realised that anyone who pulls on a QPR shirt deserves our support and that was really the most important lesson of all. 

Although we lost more to injury (I believe we now have a full first team in the treatment room) it was, indeed, a wonderful day yesterday. And if you are a QPR fan, it was not by chance that you enjoyed watching Villa beat Chelsea 1-0. You definitely enjoyed watching Mourinho's very unhappy post-match interview and enjoyed the hashtag 'tearsforjose'. 

Mourinho's the type of manager who would say that you make your own luck in life and generally I quite agree. I also believe that good things come to those that earn it, not those that wait. But sometimes in life, you have to make sure you allow some flex for stuff you cannot account or plan for. And laugh at yourself. Chances are, you won't always be at the top of your game, so it pays to never say never. 

Hugs

Ipswich Town 1 Queens Park Rangers 3

A lack of funds in the traditionally poor month of January prevented me from visiting Portman Road yesterday. But I must say my poor away record (1 win, 1 draw and 3 losses) didn't bode well so staying away was possibly the good luck charm that the Rangers needed.

I was, however, heartened by the online coverage and the fact that so many friends were there singing their hearts out for the boys. And I was going to save this post for next week, but after watching our game on Goals Express and the The Football League Show about twenty times I felt inspired to write a short piece.

In last week's post I did wonder whether confidence was a key reason for the run of poor results. It is hard to believe that a team with such quality on paper would have such an issue. Perhaps sometimes we place our players on such a pedestal that our only possible reaction is a complete meltdown and booing our team. And it is, I suppose only right that we should place them there. These are people who we, and our kids, ultimately look up to, consider our heroes and who, earn an amount of money that we can only dream of.  But I think it is so easy for us to make quick judgements about situations and people we don't know.

When I think about it, I try to remember that you cannot assume nor expect a player to think and behave exactly like another. And while I'd really like to think that everyone who plays for QPR loves being at our club or is a Rangers supporter (been a while hasn't it?), we have the reality of where and who we are: a small club with a limited but loyal fan base, with owners who have big ambitions. However, I do believe there is a level of commitment and respect which has to be a minimum requirement for anyone who plays for us. It just isn't fair on us fans who invest in supporting the club to give us players who aren't prepared to put a shift in.

And this is why I write this post this week with a face that is beaming with a smile. Because yesterday's match was indicative of the huge difference between the QPR we watch now, and the one we watched a year ago. We don't know if half of these players are going to be with us next season. Many players are out of contract and many of our best at the moment are borrowed. They probably are not hugely loyal to QPR but for the most part most of them do care about how they play. Call me naive but I loved watching the goals again and again on TV because you can see just how happy they were when they scored the goals. No arrogant 'sliding movements' (although I do like a good sliding movement) and no robotic dancing, but group hugs all-round. Okay, so Traore raced towards the away supporters with his hand to his ear, but who wouldn't when our fans were in fine form with some great songs about Charlie and Niko?

So whilst I am a little sad that I did not get to go yesterday I am happy for the win and for the more positive vibes. And Charlie is never to far away as I settle in to a Sunday of highlights and reviews of what was a great day at the office for the Rs.

Dear Santa (2013)

Queens Park Rangers 0 Leicester 1

Dear Santa,

It's been just under a year since I last wrote to you. And I know I was a bad girl because I actually wrote to you after Christmas day and you were still kind enough to give us an amazing away win at Chelsea just after New Year's Day. I will never forget how special that evening was. I don't think I've ever been so excited watching QPR play in my whole life and I enjoyed watching Chelsea fans looking very miserable on the District line home.

But, alas. A lot has happened last year. As you know, we didn't manage to save ourselves. And all those horrid players who you tried to punish (Bosingwa and the Siberian training camp etc.) pretty much set up our downfall. By the time Harry arrived it was all too late. And as the world continued to turn and we saw Pistorius kill his girlfriend, Syria continue to suffer, a huge typhoon destruct the Philippines, and Mandela die...we have been rebuilding our team back in the world of the Championship in to something that is unrecognisable (really) to the team we traumatically supported in season 2012/13.

Santa, I can't imagine what it's like up there in the North Pole but I understand from records I've been reading that you basically you live in the North Pole with Mrs Claus, a few elves and the Easter Bunny who lives next door. I know this because he actually wrote to me last Easter after we beat Sunderland 3-1. But it must be a bit lonely up there when you haven't got many people that you can socialise with at the same level? I mean, with the Easter Bunny laying millions of eggs for probably half the year, and with Mrs Claus being obsessed with Eastenders I wonder whether it sometimes feels a little lonely? The reason why I say this is that this year has been an amazing year for me in that I've become pretty close to some very special people through QPR. And while I am blessed to have so many wonderful friends from all walks of life, I often feel even more lucky to have friends who are about as crazy as I am about the Rangers.

Today was a wonderful case in point. Today wasn't a great day for football itself, no. It can't be said that any of us were content with the result. My friend @gemcricketmad will not be happy for QPR that Barton was sent off, but she will feel vindicated as she truly believes he is a bad man and that it was only a matter of time before it would happen. I, on the other hand have, as fickle fans do, changed my opinion of him somewhat, and thought while it was probably deserved it was perhaps unfair in the grand scheme of life given his great contribution to the team so far this season. I fear that Barton is not the kind of person who would be on your good boy list but I beg you to re-consider as in my view he has done much good work for charities and important causes this season. And for me that is truly commendable.(Please don't however, give him his wish to go back to Marseilles in January - that I CANNOT allow). But back to the game today...while the first twenty minutes looked promising with both Kranjcar and Austin looking like they were firing on all cylinders, squirrel-gate appeared to have, not only stopped play for five minutes, but arrested any chance of any kind of momentum. In the cold, windy and wet conditions as I huddled in my five layers of clothing with rain p***ing down on my face I kind of felt this wasn't going to be our day.

But, there were other things that had been planned for today. That friend I mentioned earlier @gemcricketmad and I, had promised ourselves that we would make a big effort to make it to Loftus Road early to greet some of the players are they entered. Okay, I lie. We promised ourselves we'd make it to Loftus Road early to greet Niko Kranjcar and Charlie Austin. I know I know Santa, it's not very becoming of two ladies who are seriously in to their football to be ogling at two footballers. But I am telling you the God-honest truth that we're not sure there has ever been a more good looking team playing for QPR. And several ladies in the South Africa Road block C ladies toilet who overheard my conversation with @sandyhoops can probably vouch for us on this matter. I know it feels a little like we're turning on Buzz Lightyear (Julio Cesar) - and where is he by the way - has he asked for a transfer this Christmas?, but to be honest as good as he was it feels like he's a player from another era that most of us would much rather forget. To cut a long story short, here are the photos of us as blubbering wrecks meeting our 'idols' outside Loftus Road. Needless to say security asked us to move as we were actually standing in completely the wrong place - apparently we hadn't noticed the official 'meet n' greet' area. It's a good thing both chaps are really rather friendly and nice that they put up with two ladies who were about to melt in to the pavement outside the players entrance.

me and charlieeeee

Gemma and the dreamy Niko

As I met my friends outside Loftus Road after the match, I'd almost forgotten the frustrating match against Leicester as meeting Charlie and Niko was still fresh in my memory and I was so proud of myself for not running away in shyness. Post-match I had an amazing lunch of fantastic authentic Italian pizza to look forward to with my QPR friends in Notting Hill and I was not disappointed. Lunch was full of laughter, jokes and banter. It continued to be cold, wet and rainy outside but I felt truly blessed to be with such good people.

Call me cheesy, corny, soppy...whatever you want. But at this time year I can't help but reflect on all the things that have happened in the past twelve months. Many of us work hard for a living and sometimes struggle to support ourselves, some of us have lost friends or family to another life, and some have struggled through our own illnesses and other difficult issues for lots of reasons with our own families. There are some fans I know well and there are others that I read about through social media who are going through such hardships. What I write does not provide anywhere near enough weight to the seriousness of such things. But what I can say is that it is the wonderful time spent together with my QPR friends that will always be the most special and happy of memories. And I am so sure there are many others who will say the same.

Santa, this isn't a note to ask for anything this Christmas. Because the truth is I know I am lucky and I have all that I need to make this Christmas one I will not forget. Perhaps you were smiling down on Gemma and I when we had arrived just in time to meet our favourite players. And while you didn't give us a win today...I know how you work (remember last year!), and I have a funny feeling we may turn Forest over on boxing day against all statistical odds.

Here is wishing you and everyone who reads this blog, a wonderful Christmas.

Lots of love,
Emily

PS. Please find enclosed a framed photo of Niko and a mug with Charlie's image on it for Mrs Claus in case you were struggling for gift ideas.