Things to look forward to...

Queens Park Rangers 0 West Ham 0

Liverpool 2 Queens Park Rangers 1

Well it's been a little depressing hasn't it?

And I'm just looking outside at the wind and rain dreaming of warmer spring weather and summer barbecues.

So, while we get used to the thought of life back in the Champ I thought I'd think about all the lovely things we have to look forward to next season .

#1 Saturday games

Honestly, who cares about wall to wall coverage and online streams of all games when one has to contend with games on a Saturday morning or a Sunday evening? (Okay so 12 isn't morning but it sure does feel like it when you have a hangover.) One thing that's great about the Champ is the regular Saturday games at 3pm. This is great because a. you have time to recover from said hangover, and b. you have the next day to recover from the drinking you did the day before whilst dancing at the Springbok disco.

#2 More games

Well, we all know there's one thing harder than staying in the Premier League and that's winning the Championship. It's a tough season with so many games and so many teams. But isn't it just fun to have so many more games- and often two during a week? Call me greedy but I enjoy gobbling them all up.

#3 Yorkshire games

Well, this is of great importance to me personally. My Gran is from Yorkshire and this season has totally SUCKED for her because I've only made one trip to see her when I went to see the Rangers play Hull away. In the Champ she gets to see me 3 or 4 times in a season,  I stay up with her in sunny Doncaster for the weekend and get treated like a champ myself. Fish Bits of Doncaster here I come.

#4 Better beer

I'm a proper beer girl myself (none of that namby pamby lager). And one thing that's great about away games in the lower leagues, especially those 'oop north' is that the beer in many of the grounds is really rather good. AND also very cheap.

#5 No more half n' half scarves

Ahh, these scarves are the bane of any real fan's match experience. We fans of English football love a good moan, so although I'll miss growling about the half n' half scarves, I'll enjoy not seeing them at all next season and look forward to visiting new towns, new grounds and meeting some lovely fans of QPR and of other teams.


And about moaning. It's not good for you. Let's smile a bit more. Studies have shown that smiling lowers heart rate, reduces stress, puts you in a better mood, increases productivity AND encourages trust. Now who wouldn't want that eh?

You RRRss

Fired up

Queens Park Rangers 2 Liverpool 3

Today we witnessed a heartbreaking result for the Rs. Playing a lacklustre Liverpool side, and having dominated for most of the game, a few mistakes cost us dearly. I keep thinking, we deserved to win, but I know in my heart that we didn't really- and for exactly the same reason why I think we deserved to beat Derby on that fateful day in May this year. When one is given a chance - you simply must take it with both hands.

I suppose the only difference between Liverpool today, and us in May is that they didn't look like they really wanted it at all. I saw as much character in that side as a plank of wood. If I were a Liverpool fan I'd be furious with Balotelli - he was worse than Taraabt on a bad training day (abuse to come my way soon I'm sure). Conversely, and rather surprisingly QPR came fast out of the blocks and showed real spirit for most of the game. Our players looked like they had fire in their bellies. Part of this is fitness of course- Harry picked players that had a bit of pace: Onuoha, Traore, Yun...And (praise the Lord) dropped Rio for 'a few fags with a drink but I'm still going' Dunne. Was it tombola time again for Harry? I am not sure that anyone could argue with the tactics and changes that were made to the team for today. Harry was, I admit, spot on.

Last week I was really concerned about Harry. It looked and felt as if he'd become disinterested and half asleep. Having said that, I don't for one second believe everything he says, especially on the topic of reading the papers. There is no way some of his frustration isn't stemming, in part, from what he's reading in the press. They say that sometimes it's not great to show emotion when it comes to your work life - it's only work after all right? And one must never take things too personally. But sometimes, just sometimes I think it does help to show people that you have taken it very personally as it shows that a. you care and b. that you are in it with everybody else as much as everybody else when you lead a team. And in Harry's press conference (which you can view below) I saw for the first time in a long time in him, someone who was seriously pissed off...it was so pleasing to see him red-faced and sweating, to hear him get angry about Adel's lack of effort in training, and to hear him swear and hit that irritatingly squeaky screen behind him. Hurrah! (I'd have stood up and kicked the whole wretched thing over!)

So where now for QPR? It's tough when mistakes are made, but they are easily forgiven when everyone is united in a common vision and there is effort behind the performance. It's easy to say we 'woz robbed' but I'm going to go out on a limb and say this performance will be our turning point- because if we can come back from this, and turn this loss in to a positive experience we're going to be absolutely fine at the end of the season.

Delusional? Maybe. Prepared to admit defeat just yet? Absolutely not.

Cycles

Reading 0 Queens Park Rangers 0

Queens Park Rangers 0 Arsenal 1

Queens Park Rangers 1 Newcastle 2

Liverpool 1 Queens Park Rangers 0

I used to believe that life happened in cycles of three years. The thinking is that after three years of good fortune and happiness, things couldn't possibly continue in to a fourth year, so one deserved three years of bad luck and misery after that. After this period one would once again deserve happier times. It was a theory that an old flat mate of mine believed in and told me about. Both of us had not had the happiest of childhoods and had been through all a whole mill of complicated situations. And when we started our working lives in London, starting at the bottom of the corporate ladder and contributing most of our salary to the rent of our shared apartment life really did feel a little like a roller coaster - we weren't quite sure when we were going to get off or when things would just be like a simple carousel or a slow-moving Ferris wheel.

After what has to be the worst season I have ever experienced as a QPR fan, I couldn't help but wonder whether QPR had finally come to the end of its own cycle of good fortune. I remember saying when I had to move to Manila to take care of my dying mum in 2003, that if QPR had got promoted to the Championship from League 1, I would be celebrating so much you may find me paralytic on a pavement outside some pub after drinking copious amounts of alcohol in happiness. Only a year later we managed to get promoted and I didn't end up lying on the roadside as I had predicted (a fine one for words I am). However, it is hard to believe that  was nearly ten years ago and I could never have imagined what next happened to our club. Our trials and tribulations of that period are well documented. We even have a famous movie that tells the story of how we got back in to the Premier League - in this one, a cycle of four and not three years is epitomised.

And despite all that we have been through before, this season has truly been the most torturous. For most QPR fans it wasn't about the end result: the fact that we were relegated. For most QPR fans it was the manner in which we did get relegated that hurt so much. Where at the end of last season we could at least boast of a fine home form, this season it was a painful series of loss after loss after loss and many of us had to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and experience it all again the following week. Not only did we have to contend with poor play, but we had to contend with personality issues within the team - egos, splits and factions. All of this while the club continued to 'market' itself to a group of people who would only support the club so long as Park Ji Sung remained in it. What also saddened me about the last few months has been the way that QPR fans have been arguing and fighting amongst themselves (myself included). But, in fairness it is a natural reaction to a situation where we are all trying to understand why we are in such a mess, and where we need to find someone or something to blame.

When I started writing the blog, we were in a very different place. We weren't in a position that is much different to where we ended up -  in the lower dregs of the Premier League -  but I was much more full of hope and faith. I still liked Joey Barton and thought some of his views on things like homophobia in football, for example, would make him a wonderful ambassador for QPR. I felt that Fernandes was a great owner and that we were in good hands. But the last few transfer windows have made me extremely worried about the club's attitude, and in Harry Redknapp I am starting to see more marketing tactics (one week players lack motivation  the next they are of a low quality). I feel that we are still seeing, even after relegation, signs of a club that is trying to act bigger and cooler than it really is. The fact is, our biggest problem these past two seasons has simply been our bloated squad and the fact that we cannot make a bunch of supposedly great players function together as a decent unit. How to solve that problem however is perhaps not quite so simple, given that we have owners with such lofty ambitions that involve not just the game of football itself.

All in all, having Fernandes and Kamarudin Meranun's money at QPR is probably still a good thing. And having Redknapp as a manager is probably our best chance of not being relegated again (yes, that's just how hopeful I am about next season). But much as we'd like to think we are kept informed of what's going on at QPR either by Fernandes and his tweets, Harry and his penchant for a bit of publicity and the club's supporters meetings, we haven't got a damn clue what's really going on in the background and we never will. We'd like to think it's our club to influence - and sometimes we will when it comes to easy things like club shirts for next season, or whether we get names on our seats. And I have to say I am getting a little bit fed up of fans feeling grateful because Fernandes has decided to buy one person a season ticket on a whim, or because season ticket prices are lowered to the level they should be. Admittedly, there is nothing wrong with these actions, but I do think we need to start to be a bit more savvy about our club's PR and marketing if we really believe we can influence it more.

Despite the season being so horrific, the past 9 months has brought much in the way of blossoming friendships. As life goes on and you get older, you don't always expect to meet new people that you click with so well. Let's be frank, one rarely gets to meet a QPR supporter, never mind someone you actually get on really well with. In my mind I am already piecing together this wonderful mosaic of people and places I've visited and smiling to myself at how lucky we are to be able to experience new things all the time through supporting this club. And I am talking not just about great people like Gemma, Annie and Ali, but people like that Addison Lee taxi driver who took me home safely after a business trip abroad, and the train manager on the 915 from Euston to Liverpool that moved all the QPR fans in to the first class carriage. This has been the most delightful thing for me this year and the irony is that I can blame QPR for all of it.

Before I wrote this blog, I asked my brother who has absolutely no interest in football at all (but more than a passing interest in QPR because of his relation to me), what I should write about given it's been such an awful season. He said 'why don't you write about the fact that it's just like life? Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, and sometimes it's just really really bad.' He couldn't be more right. Nowadays, I don't think that life is about those three year cycles. I don't even think it's about Four Year Plans. Life, like QPR, just is what it is - and there are parts we can control and parts which we cannot.  But what I do think is that sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's really really bad, but you can also make it really really good if you try.

Dear Santa

Newcastle 1 Queens Park Rangers 0

Queens Park Rangers 1 West Bromwich Albion 2

Dear Santa,

I know it's late. It's already the 29th December. You've been and gone and I didn't leave out any biscuits, milk or carrots. I just started taking you for granted because QPR started to get good results and everyone was going on and on about the 6 points in 4 games. I should have known by the time Newcastle were finished with us last week, that we are far from 'fixed' and I should have accepted there and then that we just aren't going to stay up. Look Santa, I know that mathematically we can. There's always a 'chance' that we can. But for me that's just not the point anymore. I'm looking at the team, and I'm still not seeing complete dedication. OK so Bosingwa finally got pulled up by Harry finally for being the lazy sod that he is (I do hope you did not give him anything this Christmas), but I still think there are a few more lazy sods lurking in the background trying to hide behind the 'shadows' and failing miserably. Yeah yeah yeah, everybody's putting more of a shift in, but look at Cisse: when he doesn't have the ball he is either sitting on his arse with his hands in the air complaining, or standing with his hands on his hips complaining. I've always hated players like that, love him or hate him I started watching football when players like Gary Lineker set great examples of sportsmanship. Right now, it's all handbags, and it's quire irritating for us QPR fans. Santa, I'm not asking for a team of Gary Linekers  but I am asking whether you can organise for some of these people to leave Loftus Road in January? I'm not really up for watching handbags for the remainder of the season.

Santa, thanks for granting my wish for Taarabt not to go to the Africa Cup of Nations. I know I am only writing the letter to you now but you read my mind and in many ways I can rest easy now. However, we still don't have an out and out striker that is actually fit amongst other problems (see above re: Cisse). So far buying all the 'star' players that we have in the past 12 months has brought us little or no reward. So would it be possible to simply ask for DJ Campbell to come back? OK, so maybe he isn't 'Prem' material but at least he's a QPR fan and he's scoring goals in Ipswich. Who is to say Championship players can't play in the Premier League anyway? On that note, I was wondering whether you had been taking care of Swansea and Norwich a bit more than us? Perhaps they left you more cookies, milk and carrots than QPR fans last Christmas? If so, I can make a few phone calls for quick delivery before the New Year? There are several QPR fans who work in the delivery and transport business, and I know one who rides a double-decker bus through London - we are at the ready if that's what it takes. Just say the word Santa.

This next wish Santa is a sensitive one. I'm really pleased that the club communicates with us regularly. I know that many clubs do not have such an 'open' relationship with the fans. But sometimes it's much better to say nothing at all, than to try and say words that are flippant and meaningless. I'm not naming names (for fear that you might not grant me the other wishes), but breezy comments about not winning and picking up 6 points from the next two matches, are unrealistic. They also fire up those QPR fans that are a little more, shall we say, vehement in their commentary. While I'm not one to talk about morals, I'm also not particularly keen on seeing c and f words on my twitter timeline from said vehement fans on a continuous loop immediately after a QPR loss. Could you have a word with the PR staff at QPR? I know they work hard and try (despite not being QPR fans). But I believe this is not only a lesson in PR but a lesson in how to carry oneself generally. Oh, and Santa, can you throw in some language lessons for them? I think they mixed up Spanish and Arabic the other day when they announced Taarabt wasn't going to the ACN.

Santa, my final wish is that you magic up some entertaining football at Loftus Road. Because QPR fans are by their very existence masochists, deep inside it's not even the win that we are looking for. Yes, it would be nice to finally win away, and to win a bit more (or maybe to start with: to win again), but we'd be ok with watching the players battle it out with some fight. And hopefully, if the above wishes are granted we will muster a few wins as a result anyway. It's expensive to watch our team play at Loftus Road, and to travel away too. Right now, the relationship feels a little one-sided. And while I don't agree with fans abusing players on twitter (there are much better ways to air one's views), I understand why they feel that way.

I am not going to ask you to conjure up a win for us tomorrow against Liverpool. Because I have left it so late you probably don't have time to organise it all. And to be honest, I'd be happier if you helped us focus on some of the other things to prepare for our life one division down. I don't know whether you have had the chance to visit Harry's house (I suspect they had the whole family round for Christmas day and that they left you gourmet biscuits and organic milk), but if poss can you make sure he stays with us next season? I really like the fact that he made an example of Bosingwa who is (as you know), my least favourite player of the year. I hope he does that more often.

Well that's it from me Santa. I hope you can forgive the fact that I've written this so late. And aren't hurt by my assertion that perhaps you favoured those other 'championship' teams that went up in 2011. Trust me, we are prepared to make up for it if you can help us get out of this mess: one way or another. Again, just say the word.

Thanks for reading, and enjoy the weekend.

Love,
Emily, Queen of the Park Rangers

Encl. Biscuits, Milk, Carrots and a big red double decker bus from London.

We won! We won! We won!

Queens Park Rangers 3 Liverpool 2

I am in no doubt that tonight will go down in history as one QPR's greatest comebacks. I am also in no doubt that we were not the best team on the pitch tonight for most of the game. For 70 minutes of the match, and at different points, we looked nervy and lost. And Barton really had a terrible game. I believe over the last few months he has become a bit of a scapegoat - in some games he does make the most awful passes but usually more than makes up for it with his efforts up and down the pitch. But tonight I am sorry that he was pretty shocking, and I am so glad that Hughes had the guts to take him off with plenty of time still left on the clock.

It was a Liverpool fan who came to the game - a good friend of mine - who said that when Barton came off, it changed everything. He was absolutely right. Mackie brought pace and passion as he always does. But for me, the man of the match was Shaun Derry. Apart from scoring a goal, he played some really classy football and was solid from the off.  I am told by a source that Derry has really come in to his own this season in part due to improved fitness  and work rate at training. All power to him for that, it's an inspiration to anyone who thinks they may have  be 'past it' in whatever they love to do. Amazing that we are talking about our players from last season - but I guess @sandyhoops was right, and no wonder it rattled Joey Barton enough to make her the first QPR fan he has ever responded to directly on twitter.

As I mentioned, a couple of good friends who are Liverpool fans were at the game. One of them was hiding a few rows behind me among QPR supporters.  I tell you. We were so bad and when we had 30 minutes left, I was already quite calmly thinking about the future in the Championship. One of the guys next to me stopped watching - he had his head down between his legs. It was just awful. I wasn't even praying for a miracle anymore.

When we scored the first goal, the minutiae a second's delay in cheering showed just how unsure we were that we had actually scored. There wasn't a huge amount of time left on the clock but I saw Cisse shout at the other team members positively - he was looking like he thought we could still take something out of the game. I was really impressed by that there and then. But did I really think we'd score the second, or the third? In my wildest dreams.

I am not going to write a long philosophical blog tonight. It's a 'school night' and I'm busy watching Match Choice and Match of the Day. For once I'm really looking forward to it.

Suffice to say, that it was nice to meet @sandyhoops properly, who has actually been sitting in front of me more years. And that I hugged about 6 people I really don't know. I hugged them after the second goal we scored thinking 'we've got a point yippeee'. And after the third goal it was almost an orgy. I actually cried some tears tonight because it felt like the most miraculous win ever. And even if Liverpool probably deserved to win, I think the QPR fans deserved this one tonight. It's been a long time coming.

As I say, this has got to go down in history whether we are relegated or not. Something like that Port Vale 4-4 draw all those years ago. Except this time, it's Liverpool. And it's a 3-2 win.

Your Rssssssss