Big club, little club

Queens Park Rangers 2 MK Dons 4

Queens Park Rangers 0 Manchester City 0

Queens Park Rangers 0 Norwich City 0

Last night I experienced what can only be described as severe QPR depression. For the first time in a long time, I could not think positively about the club for more than a minute. Even for the whole of last season I did not feel this way. It was a hopeless feeling. When I got home, I resorted to making lasagne to keep my mind occupied, opening a bottle of red to attempt to drown my sorrows and then switching to Splash and The Following on TV to attempt to compartmentalise my feelings.

Why did I feel this way? QPR are still bottom of the table. Truth is, we would have been even if we had won yesterday. QPR are still unbeaten in the league this year. Truth is, we were thrashed by MK Dons so I still think there is a problem. And we've just signed ourselves a fantastic central defender in Chris Samba. Truth is, I am still nervous about the decisions being made by the board.

Because our season start was so bad, and the positive momentum has come too late, yesterday's draw felt as bad as a loss for me. Taarabt not scoring the penalty didn't help. It felt as if we were doomed even if a little bit of luck tried to shine upon us. And now, given that the clubs around us are winning and pulling away, I really must honestly come to terms with the possibility that we are doing down. Yes I know that before Christmas I had written that I had already resigned myself. But I suppose our win against Chelsea and the QPR PR strategy has provided me with a false sense of security. And frankly I am a little angry that I have allowed myself to be carried away with this tide of spin.

Yet again, last Thursday we found ourselves getting sucked in to transfer deadline day. We enjoyed poking fun at Odemwingie, and revelled at the envy of other clubs when we signed Samba - following on from our Remy buy a few weeks earlier. And while I think they were good buys- and according to Fernandes we can afford them - I honestly wonder whether we are now thinking too short term vs. long term. Is all this change yet again really good for our club and it's own heart? Fernandes, as the face of the club, obviously has his charms in persuading players to join us but the money is not all his and big decisions are obviously being made by the shareholders. Yes, some of these are risky but I do believe that they have probably done their sums. So, I don't think this is going to be another Pompey situation- at least not quite so quickly. But I do worry about what QPR stands for, and what all these events do to the personality of our club which means so much to so many people.

This week's QPR Podcast featured a great song by Owen Parker called 'Because we're Queens Park Rangers' which you can listen to here: Because we're Queens Park Rangers. I think all QPR fans can relate to the lyrics. In his dulcet David Greyish tones he sings:

I can take the constant disappointment

Guns in the boardroom

Anglo-Chinese diplomatic situation

I can take Tango & Cash

Monaco-based banks

Striker after striker

Drawing blanks

But what makes me sick

Is when you put on that shirt

And don't give a s**

Collect your cash

Speed home metal to metal

Then spend all evening polishing your Champions League medal...

(copyright Owen Parker)

His lyrics, and the staccato style in which he sings the punchy verses, are reflective of what is now becoming the paradoxical monotony of controversial events that surround our club. And while we can all laugh at the song's humour in my depressed QPR state, I wonder whether it would just be nice to go back to being a fairly middling Championship or League One club. Then again, half of the events he describes happened before we were even promoted to the Premier League. So are we simply a club doomed because of the simple fact that we are a London based club that exists in a prime area of London which will always be of great interest to investors and people with money?

I have often written about the fact that what makes QPR special is the fact that it is by and large a family club, with a family atmosphere. I suppose that as fans, we have always assumed that a family club means a small club. After all, how can an atmosphere or an organisation be intimate, like a family, if it is so big? Tony Fernandes said something interesting in that Telegraph interview: 'We, QPR, have to move out of the small club syndrome and for constant security have to build a bigger stadium, a better infrastructure.' I can imagine there will be some QPR fans who will argue with this. After-all, we are small club aren't we? isn't that the reality? We aren't a West Ham that can easily pull in 30K+ people for Championship matches, it wasn't so long ago when we struggled to get 13K to the ground even though we were a fairly decent Championship team. Last week even saw a bit of debate between fans on twitter as to the number of 'hardcore' QPR fans, based in London, outside and abroad...Ranging from 15,000 to 60,000....Still, neither of these numbers come even close the other big global brands that have been doing this 'international expansion' thing for years. 

On the other hand, we don't really have a chance in Premier League football if we do not make some big decisions. I think that we probably didn't have to make so many ridiculous signings last January nor last summer - other clubs who were 'on paper' worse than us did not and have been able to nurture their squads more organically. But because we have started down that road, we're a bit stuck and probably don't have a choice to be proceed as we started. Fernandes said that 'We inherited a squad where every single player who has left is no longer playing in the Premier League, doesn’t that say something?' But I would also argue that I am not sure that many of the Premier League players we have acquired have a future in the Premier League either!!! 

Whichever way I turn I feel bewildered by it all. But what I can say for sure is that recent history has shown us that this level of instability has done us little good. Will it help us to survive? Unlikely, but maybe. And even if we do survive, how many more players do we bring in this summer to start the cycle all over again? I am so afraid that we keep working on the roof when we haven't even finished on the foundations of the house. So...perhaps relegation will actually do us some good? Yes, we're going to lose our on a shed load of money and we're going to lose some big players. But maybe we'll get a semblance of our old club back and we can start looking at our Youth Team again for talents like Ehmer, Harriman and Doughty. 

Do I care if we become a big club or a stay a little club? Not really. I believe families can still be big and loving, and by the same token our club can still be a family club even if we expand. But frankly we're no where near close to that stage yet and I think we can cross that bridge when we come to it. 

Skating on thin Hoops

Queens Park Rangers 3 Walsall 0

(+ a bit of Norwich City 1 Queens Park Rangers 1)

Having enjoyed an extended bank holiday weekend with family 'ooop north' it was nice to come back to Loftus Road at the end of it and watch the Rs win a cup match fairly comfortably. Watching together with a crowd of about 6,000 people all sat at the South Africa Road and Loftus Road ends, it almost felt as if we were transported back in time to our League One days. I know I'll be the only one who says this, but I actually quite liked the atmosphere last night. Only the hardcore fans were there, with a lot of people sitting away from their ST seats, the #qprtwitfam out in force and with kids still on holiday there was a lovely family feeling about the place.

I loved the banter with the Walsall fans. It sure was a strange sort of 'library', and sarcastic shrieks of 'oooh' when Walsall nearly scored made me chuckle. But while we supported our team with this kind of banter, the real subtext was our incredible fear of losing another cup game early on. Like most fans, I was hoping that we would stage a QPR upset, and actually win the match. And a few close-shaves, especially in the first half, had me with my head in my hands, my eyes behind my two hands, and looking up to the heavens for some help.

It was good to see though, that Hughes' intentions were absolutely clear. He was out to win this match, and not use it as some sort of 'practice round'. He made serious substitutions (although I have to say, as @sandyhoops mentioned to me during the game 'we don't look at the bench anymore and think s** we've got Zesh Rehman'), and with only 6,000+ people there I could hear him remonstrating animatedly at the team. He is under pressure without doubt, and so are the boys. OK, so we're only 3 matches in to the season but so far (as was the case last season) the new players are not living up to expectation, and I for one I am not sure if I buy the 'they need time to gel' theory. These guys train together every day and at this level I sometimes just have no sympathy for them. They shouldn't be using their Premier League or cup games to get in to the right team shape and neither should Hughes.

So, apart from the fact that I really wanted to call this blog 'skating on thin hoops'  because the hoops have been getting so thin over the years and I thought it was a good title, I wonder whether there is a case for saying the QPR management are playing a risky strategy making massive marquee signings, letting go of several players, and not fostering an atmosphere were players understand the history and meaning of the club instead of simply talking about the long-term plan of the future? Don't get me wrong, it's just wonderful that we now have the funds to attract big names like Park and Green etc etc, but having listened to what Lee Cook had to say a couple of weeks ago on the QPR podcast 'Open All Rs', the old atmosphere in the dressing room back in the day was something special with everyone playing for the shirt. Obviously we won't have people in the team who feel that way about playing for the Rangers, but surely players at this level have got to take it on the chin and stop looking so disjointed on and off the pitch?

I've been thinking a lot about how clubs ride on past glories. Look at Liverpool...a prime example of a club that will attract big players (and yet still don't perform!). I get it, QPR don't have the same glories to ride on, but we are a proud and loyal fan base, with a fascinating history that shouldn't be forgotten completely. And I guess I am a little sceptical about the mass exodus of old players, and the influx of the new because so far the results (ever since January 2012), have proved old players that have been through the challenges with us are the ones who have performed.

This all sounds a little bit negative after what was a decent win last night, but I'm still nervous about the future. I can't quite figure out what this 'long-term plan' is in terms of what and who we see on the pitch. Looking at last night SWP finally scored a goal outside a friendly last night, but he wasn't great for much of the game, Cisse was offside time and time again (as he was last Saturday against Norwich), and it was old boy Faurlin back from injury who made all the difference in mid field with his classy passing. We are also hearing rumours of some of the young players: Doughty and Ehmer pipped for first-team selection, but haven't seen or heard a peep from them (apart from front-covers on cup programmes!). Now, we are on the verge of signing top Brazilian international Julio Cesar as a second goalkeeper who no one is sure we actually need.

I am confused to say the least, and my hope is that we're going to see in the coming weeks a more fully fledged team really playing with pride for QPR and for the dedicated fans.

In the meantime, I pay homage to a couple of friends who have worn their own hoops throughout the years and the shirt which has changed over the years. If you like the idea, please tweet me your pics in the Hoops over the years and I will write another bigger piece on it.

I am still not sure if I like the new 'thinner' hoops but I am glad the logo doesn't look 'ironed on' anymore.  Some consolation as we look forward to a long, hard and no doubt exciting season.

You RRRsssss

For more on QPR's kits over the years: Historical QPR Kits

A great pic of @gmileham1's shirts

@QPRman2's selection of shirts over the years including this season's Air Asia one

The Hoops through the years courtesy of @QPRman2

@pinoyQPR in his Hoops back in the early 90s

@annieqpr in the Binatone shirt from 2003-2006