Afer the match today I took a different route home. Instead of going in to town to come back out west again to Willesden Green I got off at North Acton and bussed it via Harlesden. It was a beautiful afternoon, which followed a beautiful sunny day in London. And after another devastating loss I thought I'd take a route which would give me a bit more time to ponder over things. And I also thought soaking up the vibrant atmosphere of what is meant to be 'QPR territory' might fill me with some semblance of optimism.
Reading all the tweets on the way back, and hearing everyone's comments on the usually dreary walk down South Africa Road it appears most of the fans are now getting used to the fact that next season will will once again be in the Championship. It also appears that most people believe that is ok, so long as the team goes down with a fight. Time and time again, we're not delivering on passion, and I could feel all of us fans in the ground just wanting to sing more and support more. But it was so hard when it looked as if, at times, the players just gave up.
In truth, I think they didn't give up. But I think they sometimes tried to play too much 'clever' football. It seems that the trip to Portugal paid dividends in terms of giving the team a few ideas on some clever flicks and passes, with Taarabt leading the charge in that respect. But a little bit like the way Mark Hughes speaks in press conferences, it all sounds and looks so good, but isn't actually delivering on the promise.
My beautiful late mother was a unique woman. As often is the case between mums and their daughters, we often clashed but were always there for each other when it counted. Many things pissed her off about the things I did, including wearing boots all the time, and not always wearing make up. She also got pissed off with me when I tried to be too clever. Sometimes we'd have a debate. It could be about anything: what's on the news, family gossip, or music that we like or not. I'd come up with all sorts of clever arguments as to why my point was the best one, and I wouldn't give up thinking of wily ways to win. While my mother was a very well educated woman, this tactic absolutely riled her. She used to say frustratingly, 'you're just too...ah ah...too um...intelligent!!'. I would burst in to laughter when she said that. Looking back now, I know the point was that each side of the argument was as right as the other, but she just wondered what the point was in trying to be so clever when you could make your point in a much more simple way.
Let's take a look at another Google definition. Google defines the world clever as follows:
I am ok with going down if we do. And I am under no illusions that we're going to have an easy time there either and go back up - we know from experience what it's like to assume it'll be an easy ride. But I wonder whether there needs to be a reality check in that dressing room? I also think that that reality check needs to include not starting with a few 'big name players' that were promised a consistent place in the team. There is a reason why these players weren't playing first team football in their previous clubs.
Looking back. What a shame it has been such a poor day given it initially had all the wonderful ingredients that could have made it great.
And on that note, this week I saw on the official QPR website that we signed up us one of the clubs to support the Football V Homophobia campaign. A few weeks ago, I wrote about how proud I was of a club and a captain that supported a change in attitudes towards this subject within the game. And I was excited when I read the news of our support, and quickly checked out the official page, the Facebook page and anything else I could find on it.
Boy, was I sorely disappointed. The Facebook page has a total of '93' likes. 93?? I dread to think of the amount of traffic that the official page is getting as well. But you know what? It's got nothing to do with the fact that us fans don't believe in the sentiment. Sadly, it's got everything to do with a campaign that conforms to stereotypes. My brother pointed it out straight away when I showed him the links - 'Ugh', he said, 'Why did the logo have to be pink?'. Not just the logo, but the website, and the t-shirts and hoodies for sale.
I completely applaud Amal Fashanu for her crusade and her openness and am also glad that Stonewall supports the campaign as well. But in the Independent she says: "The really, really sad thing is when you have people who are actually not gay but fear that they might be categorised as such if they speak up. They don't want to stand up against discrimination. Why? Them saying, 'Listen, let's kick homophobia out of football', that's not going to make them gay." But that's exactly the point Amal - unfortunately, you have got run a campaign that is going to connect with people and fans, so that they don't feel like there is this kind of 'categorisation'. And it seems to me, that the reason why you haven't got more Facebook fans and many clubs aren't signing up is because people need something that speaks to them more than just pink and fluff. Quite frankly, this issue is about discrimination in all its forms, and the Football v Homophobia campaign has got to drive itself up in to a much more serious discussion in order for people to really listen.
It feels like another shame, that such an important cause is being seriously overlooked given that the climate could be very close to the tipping point in terms of how we as a football-going culture deal with the issue. Then again, perhaps we don't really have all the ingredients just yet and that's why it's important that as many teams do get involved in the campaign (fluffy or not).
That said, I've always thought that it will have to take a really big player coming out to really blow things out of the water. Most people relate to other human beings more than 'campaigns', and I can think of one very famous and very clever player at Real Madrid who, once he retires, will likely share his story with everyone.
All in all, as with the Football V Homophobia campaign QPR fizzed out like a damp squib. I really hope that in the next few days, we simply focus on getting a job done, being real and winning as opposed to trying to be too clever.