Sunday, 11 November 2012

Six tips for sad QPR fans

Arsenal 1 Queens Park Rangers 0

Queens Park Rangers 1 Reading 1

Stoke 1 Queens Park Rangers 0

It's bad. It's really bad. It's so bad I'm almost lost for words. Perhaps it's not so much that it's such appalling football, but the fact that it is so relentless. Eleven matches in, not a single win to keep hopes alive, to provide us with an ounce of positive feeling. This situation is incomparable to last season. At least our losses were punctured with home wins. The last performance of any decent quality that I can recall was against Tottenham and we didn't even manage to win that.

It wouldn't  be fair to write a match report for yesterday's game. I was, I suppose somewhat thankfully, 8 hours ahead in Manila enjoying the music of a local band called Session Road with some old pals. I was receiving text updates from my father and even through the various snippets of news it was obvious we were just following the same relentless pattern. And as I look down the list of results so far, all our matches bar the Man City and Swansea ones, show us losing by one goal. This simply affirms the fact that we are making stupid mistakes; that we miss an out and out striker, and that while we are dominating for long periods, we don't seem to have the heart nor that final ounce of skill to be follow through with such possession and score goals. It's as if we lack that vital bit of energy to be able to complete the task at hand. Many fans are calling the problem a lack of passion, and I suppose it's fair also to pine for the old days when we had players who supported the club as well; players for whom the club really meant something.

Unfortunately, we cannot expect that from the current set. But what we should expect is a level of commitment. They bought in to the club, they bought in to the 'long-term project'.  Surely the 'long-term project' should be on their minds as we enter the final third of each match in which we are either still drawing or losing by one goal? Perhaps 'long-term project' is just too 'long-term' and lofty an idea for these chaps.

I have no answers, so quite frankly I'm not going to dwell on it, nor continue to moan.What I would like to propose is Six Top Tips for us QPR fans to cheer ourselves up.

1. Turn the table upside down

This has an immediate and obvious impact. Turning QPR into the top team in the country and putting Manchester Utd and Chelsea in the relegation zone. Be warned though, the impact only lasts for a few seconds and remembering the reality can be rather a harsh experience. A bit like eating a massive bowl of pasta or rice and coming down a few minutes later from the carbo high.

2. Watch Homeland and Hunted

Two of the best TV series being aired in the UK at the moment portraying two of the most gutsy female characters- both fighting for their own justice. Just be careful not to assume that you'll be seeing the same amount of commitment from our own team.

3. Start Planning Christmas

Yes, I am actually advocating that planning Christmas festivities, both at home at at the office might be a suitable distraction. Among several things you can do you can start thinking about the crap gifts you will be buying for £5 in the office Secret Santa. Perhaps a QPR woolly hat for a Chelsea or Utd fan? This strategy does have risks though, you will be reminded of the fact that there are 4 games over the holiday period.

4. Slag off Chelsea

This strategy will allow you to feel superior. There are many things that should make us feel much better about supporting a team like QPR:
a. We do not have a problem with players shouting racist abuse at others
b. We are still a family club with a family atmosphere
c. We really are based in West London and not South West London
d. We serve much better pies

5. Delete from your favourites and unfollow @officialqpr

This will not be easy and is a very drastic move. This is not recommended unless you are already going to games regularly as you may get deep withdrawal systems that could shock the system in spite of the constant bad news.

6. Think of Joey Barton

An odd strategy perhaps, and one that goes against several of my posts that promised not to speak of him again. However, given the current circumstance I revive his ghost to make a point about the fact that we should be thankful at the very least that this idiot is no longer at the club. Sadly, we are still stuck with his ongoing appetite for attention through the various newspaper and magazine interviews but at least we can snigger from afar instead of bemoan his presence at Loftus Road.


  1. Ems, Your blog this week has me on the verge of tears this week.
    Tears of both sadness for what has become of us and also tears of laughter.
    Your upbeat 'tips' have managed to get this into perspective a little for me.

    Although my heart is solidly with our beloved club, I have a family.

    Every weekend is full of disappointment at the moment and try as I might, when your 3 year old son says, 'did we loose again' mummy, just from the look on my face, something has to change.

    I fear that things won't change for the forseeable future at QPR, so I'm drawing away a little effective today, to focus on my long suffering family who aren't football fans.

    It's going to be Christmas soon, so much to look forward to.

    The change has to come from me. I'll have to try not to care as much... can I do it?
    Can I nothing.

    You R'ssss

    1. Hi Ali,
      Thank you for your heartfelt response.
      Hang in there!