Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Another universe

Queens Park Rangers 2 Swindon Town 2 (4-2 PEN) - EFL Cup
Cardiff City 0 Queens Park Rangers 2
Barnsley 3 Queens Park Rangers 2
Queens Park Rangers 0 Preston North End 2
Queens Park Rangers 2 Rochdale 1 - EFL Cup
Wigan Athletic 0 Queens Park Rangers 1

The games have been coming thick and fast and being so far away it hasn't been easy to keep up, especially given the 7 hour time difference. God only knows how I'll cope when that changes to 8 hours in a couple of months.

Transfer deadline day has come and gone...and there's been a lot of talk about how the Championship is becoming as ridiculous as the Premier League- with bigger teams involved, large sums of money changing hands and Sky Sports dictating irritating schedule changes away from the traditional Saturday. To quote Loft for Words 'Everything we used to hate about the Premier League, well it's all here now as well'.  It's a valid moan, but outside of some big clubs being relegated (and hasn't that happened before?) is this really new news? Haven't we always known that this division was as competitive, if not more than the Premier League, albeit different in football style and calibre?

And I am not sure that this season so far, has shown itself to be more disruptive to our scheduled fixture list as previous ones. In fact, now being based so far away I know for a fact I've only been able to watch one bloody match due to televised viewing and that was the very first one. All other shifts have simply been the domino effect of other events and not just TV scheduling.

Nonetheless, I get it, I also have this nagging feeling of despondency when I think about the last few years supporting QPR. Apart from that one fateful day at Wembley, it seems to have lacked the excitement, passion and heart that is supposed to be associated with our club. So what is it that's getting us down?

I am learning one important thing. While experience and age can count for something in terms of the wisdom that we hold, you can never legislate for what will happen tomorrow and how everything converges together to create the universe of your existence. This all sounds a little trippy dippy doesn't it?  But looking at my own recent experience with moving over the Philippines for this sabbatical I've had a tough time adjusting back in to the culture and the norms even though I know it well and have lived here before. Of course, I realise that I may have had unrealistic expectations and those around may have also had unrealistic expectations about my presence here too. Not only that but we're currently experiencing here some political shifts that, to some, are extremely worrying and they do make you appreciate the most fundamental rights in life which perhaps back in the UK we take for granted. With all of that in the context of my decision to work with various NGOs and social enterprises here as part of my own personal ambition to want to help my country in the development sector and do my tiny part in alleviating the huge problem of poverty, you can imagine how my head is swirling around and wondering about where I am and whether I've made the right decision. And yeah, sometimes I do feel despondent. Actually, sometimes I feel really sad. And sometimes, I am frightened.

And so to what is happening at QPR, has this feeling of despondency come about because there has been an element of grinding our results so far, and scoring from set pieces as opposed to more exciting open play? Or has it actually been because we're still going through an important period of change where we (as fans) are yet to accept that our whole universe simply isn't the same and not just the bits of it.

I like to think about it within the context of the 7 stages of grief (outlined below). I won't be doing it in this blog post, but all hardcore QPR fans could probably track our course in this journey since the Tango & Cash days. And in my opinion we've  been stuck in stage 4 for some time. This may explain the feeling of despondency...

1. Shock and denial
2. Pain and guilt
3. Anger and bargaining
4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness
5. The Upward Turn
6. Reconstruction
7. Acceptance and Hope

Fear not, however, as the next stage is the Upward Turn and there will be certain things that we will learn to accept and live with or live without. I'd like to think in my bonkers little mind that maybe this will be signalled via an unprecedented cup run (so shoot me).

It's so easy to never make a change, to want things to be the same as they always have been, or how you were told they would be. But where would be the fun and the learning in that? And on that note I'd like to welcome our solid 7 new signings in to the QPR universe and wish them all the best at this blessed club of ours.

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